On 8/10/06 my wife left me after i vented some frustration regarding my 7 year old step daughter. I used foul language and yelled, my step daughter was not home during this venting. My wife has sinced moved out and filed for an anullment, she has also cut off all communication with me. My wife who i love dearly has a "PAST", since her 7 year old daughter was born she's had seven significant relationships. 1 the babies dead, 2 a fiance who left her, 3 an old high school boyfriend who cheated on her, and 4 me. I knew this going in but was fully committed to the both of them and loved them with all my heart. I have sent her e-mails expressing my love and asking for her forgiveness. I have even gone to her moms house where she is leaving and said i am sorry and all she said was "you got her involved". I gave the child all the love and attention in the world, more than her own father. I just had trouble with repeating myself go clean your room your mom wants it clean. i love them both.
2006-11-28 03:48:45 · 10 answers · asked by john d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She was just looking for an excuse to leave you.
2006-11-28 03:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not making much sense. She gave up on the marriage and served you with divorce papers. You met 2 women after that fact and had something go on. Now, how can you consider that cheating when your wife doesn't want you before you met the 2 women? Please don't go on this guilt trip as you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. As for your second question - how to save your marriage. It takes 2 to save a marriage, not 1. You may want to reconcile but she doesn't. She has to want it too. How to get her to want it? Not by giving in to her all the time or proving that 'nothing like this will ever happen again'. So what if you prove it? It'll not mean anything if she doesn't appreciate you. That's the problem, she doesn't appreciate you. The problem isn't you. She hurt you first and served divorce papers first. My opinion is for you to move on and find a woman that will really appreciate you for who you are. Don't cling to straws to a relationship that is long dead (it is to your wife). She did not treat you with respect by bad mouthing you & she cut you down with those words you said about feeling nothing for you. She didn't care how she hurt you. Move on please - you will much healthier and happier. You can never be happy in a relationship with a woman who doesn't appreciate you or love you even.
2016-03-13 00:09:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your used of "PAST" is probably the problem here. You are asking how to save your marriage and yet you pretty much bash her the whole paragraph. Being a stepdad or dad for the matter is pretty much patiently repeating the same instructions for 18 years (get up, get dressed, take a bath (no..you can't go for a week without one), clean your room, put your stuff away, yes...it is bedtime). It kind of goes with the territory :)
If you put someone down all the time, bring up the "PAST" before you were married, and then verbally assaulted her, saying I love you doesn't really carry a lot of weight.
2006-11-28 05:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by haganmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from what you wrote it sounds like your wife is overprotective of her daughter. My brother has step children and when he first married the kids tried to play his against his wife and get more from him than normal. Your wife does not have more baggage than any other woman out there, she just has to learn to deal with it better. My advise, give her some space and then insist that the three of you go for family consoling. good luck
2006-11-28 03:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im goign to be honest with you when you say something about someone child that hurts the worst cuts like a knife. i know you was mad but that hard to forgive someone for i dont know if i ever could no matter how much i love the person. try to sit her down and talk to her. you need to put yourself in her shoes for a minute what would you do? how would you feel? then that will answer your question bets of luck
2006-11-28 03:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do if realize it is her and not you at this point- offer to go to consuling too maybe but the more you push the more she will close off- make sure she knows you are there if she needs support or help etc and give her some space to cool out---
2006-11-28 03:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love her but I don't see how this will ever be a happy
successful marriage / relationship...
She has too much baggage & too many problems...
2006-11-28 04:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know man, it may be too late. I always have been of the mind that you can pick on me, but you pick on my kid and I get ANGRY! Like a lioness protecting her cubs-too the death.
Make a promise to leave the kids out of it, maybe that would bring her around.
Oh, and losing your temper is losing control and no one like to be threatened.
2006-11-28 03:52:08 · answer #8 · answered by cici 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anger Management for "YOU". For her time alone with her daughter, that's all she needs. She's jumped into relationships without giving her self time or let alone her daughter.Please don't come to her, when she is ready she will come to you if it's meant to be...
2006-11-28 03:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by Rainbow Brite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should apologize to the child and tell her that you were wrong and want to fix it.
Have patience. Forgiveness comes with time. Ask her how she feels and tell her how you feel. Whatever happens, happens.
2006-11-28 03:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋