my husbands cousin is 16 and found out shes having a baby what do i do?

Question

my husbands cousin is 16 and found out shes having a baby shes in 10th grade and afterall weve done to have a baby it hurts she dont have a job or anything she lives with us and of course i m gonna help her but i am so jealous of her it sucks she dont know what shes gonna do she wants the baby but dont want the baby at the same time! how can i help her with out being hurt and upset? how do i ask her about us taking care of her baby as in adopting it?

Answer 1

First- you are on the right track- she needs support,help and education- and! where is the father-and his parents- though almost better to have him at least give up rights. Your main concern should be her health,her maturing and THE BABY! She does have to come to her own decisons about adoption etc,but you might suggest gaurdian rights-even just for help in emergencies etc- and the same with her- she's underage- or legal pp to cover the child to stay with you if anything should happen to her---but the childs love,happiness,health and the mothers have to come first- besides- if you two are good- what a gift she is sharing with you---

Answer 2

Oh my what a heart wrenching delema! If that were my case here is what I think I might do...

I think I would have all of us sit down and figure out where everyones head is. What is done is done and she will have a very hard time being so young!! Sit down and go over all her options and just let her know that you and your husband would be willing to adopt the baby and love that child with your whole being! Not to mention it would stay in the family. Go over with her what having a baby involves... money, patience, hard work, ect. Maybe let her know how sad and emotional it is for you after all you have been through. Hopefully you have a open honest relationship with her and can speak openly. I completely understand how you must feel being hurt and upset. You wouldn't be human without feeling such emotions. I think anyone in this situation would be feeling those feelings! This is such a hard thing to deal with and no one knows what's gonna happen, but a child is on the way and first and foremost would be the well being of the child.

My heart aches for you. Am sorry to hear of what you and your family are going through right now. I wish you the very best and hope all works out fine.

Answer 3

if you are in a stable position to take care of the baby for her (you and your husband) I would talk to her about it after you discuss with her what she wants to do. It's extremely difficult for a teenager to take care of a baby, go to school, work, etc. Do not be hurt or upset, she did not get pregnant to make you feel this way. The father of the baby needs to be talked to also to see where he stands on this whole situation also. Also have her sign up for help from the state to take care of all the medical expenses she will accumulate from being pregnant and the birth of the baby. be happy either way there is a new baby on the way and you will be able to be a part of the child's life.

Answer 4

Don't ask her if you can adopt her baby. If she wants to give it up then she will ask you first. Be there for her, but at the same time don't get too attached to the child. It is her baby and just because she is young doesn't mean she can't do it. Support her in whatever decision she makes. I became a mother at 19, a little older then 16, but it can be done.

Answer 5

this baby is still a close part of your family. You dont approach her about raising HER baby as your own. You leave that option open and if she decides to put the baby up for adoption THEN you tell her your willing to adopt it. She made a mistake and more than ever she needs you two to be there for her and this child. God has plans and he knows what hes doing. Try trusting in that and if he wants you to become a parent he will bless you with that. There are other ways to fill this need and helping this young girl is one of them.

Answer 6

If she has any doubt in her mind about becoming a parent, then she is not ready for the responsibility. But before you spring the idea of adopting her baby on her, try suggesting she speak with someone about the situation. I'm not sure what part of the country you are in, but look up some clinics in your area that specialize in decisions like this.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Give her advice but let her make the decision on keeping the baby or not. let her know the option that you would love to be the baby's mother or be a special part of the baby's life by just being there.

Answer 8

Please look at this as a blessing. This baby is meant to be. Don't fight over the baby...what good is it of the baby. Just be supportive of your husband's cousin. Let her know that you can help her with her baby. But remember, you cannot take the baby away from her. This is her baby and not yours.
You sound a selfish. Please think what is best for her and her baby to be together.

Answer 9

Explain to her that she will have to lose her youth if she takes on the burden of raising a child. No more fun with her friends, no proms, few dates, etc.
Whatever you do, don't raise the child for her. You must have a legal adoption or she could take the child from you whenever she wants or use it to blackmail you.
This is a very bad situation. If she refuses to let you adopt the baby, turn your back on her and let her see for herself how difficult it is.

Answer 10

What can you do but continue being supportive of her. Her job right now is to continue with school and to keep herself and her baby healthy. Try to see the blessings for what they are. Be ready to teach and learn with her. It sounds like she is a child to you and now you get to share in the joy and fears and wonders of her life. Be there as family should.