under what circumstances should you stop being friends with someone?

Question

i have a friend who has been really busy lately, but even taking that into account, she's been a bad friend in small ways. it also feels that she's sort of pushing me away slightly for reasons i can only guess at. should i confront her about this, and if so, how should i approach it? she seems to have little need for friendship in a traditional sense, but likes it to be there if and when she needs it, which is a little selfish as well i think...any advice would be really appreciated.

Answer 1

talk to her about that
and u too take in ur mind her personality she dont do it only with u but also she do with all her friends
she is bush girl so she may dont have free time to contact u
try to talk to her about things she make u sad from

Answer 2

I think you've got your head on straight and you already know what to do. A friendship is give and take and not one sided. Yes, it is very selfish for her to use someone for friendship only because "I need a friend, sometimes." She should be ashamed of herself. You should definately confront this person and tell us exactly what you told us. Start off with the sentence "it also feels that she's sort of pushing me away..." Confront her and let her know that you've noticed she's been acting strange lately and that you'd like to know if you've done anything wrong. If she still does not give you any answers, I would slowly but surely start cutting my ties with her. She obviously does not know how to be a good friend. I doubt you'd be missing anything if you decided to end the friendship.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like she is too busy and not interested in cultivating your friendship. One sided friendship gets stale fast .Just draw back and let her approach YOU . If a long time goes by and you don't hear from her, cross her off your list . Then suddenly she remembers you still exist , it is probably that she finds out she needs you for something .
A second chance for her is up to you . Personally I have been there and done that . More than twice with the same person because I genuinely liked her and understand people can be busy and wrapped up in themselves . However, the last straw came after she practically hung up on me as she was in a bad mood . Now, that's a no-no .
I dropped her for good and have nothing to do with her fair weather friendship. Who in the heck needs it . YOU DON'T !

Answer 4

I think people change over time, and friendship will be loose too for some if not most people. You just have to accept that everyone will go on their own direction some day. It's not wise to hang on to her when she's already moving on and you're not. Find new people to be friends with. Maybe in a few years when you bump into her, she'll be another completely different person again. That's how life works. So, don't think too much about her. Move on.

Answer 5

This is a hard one. I met a girl in the 8th grade and we were friends for years- well into our 20's. She was very emotionally "needy", and needed alot of support, but was quite dismissive when others had issues, and was always very late for any plans. Eventually I just distanced myself from her and we gradually just lost touch and the friendship fizzled. The time comes when you come to realize a friendship is increasingly one sided and there is more benefit for the other person, and you get nothing but aggravation. It can be hard if you have been friends for yrs, like I was,and you feel obligated to try and make it work. Weigh the pros and cons- and sometimes, like in my case- you don't need to really even "break up" - often sefish people, when they realize they won't be catered to any longer, just walk away.

Answer 6

You don't have to tell your friend you can't be friends anymore. She/ he can still be a friend- just not a best friend. This person is not good "best friend" material. Widen your horizon and meet other people. Instead of thinking so much about the shortcomings of this person, think about how to meet other people instead.... so you don't sound too needy.
By meeting other people, it will dawn on you to which friend category this person falls> acquaintance (you say hi- then bye to each other whenever you meet), a good friend (you feel connected whenever you meet each other- maybe send cards to each other), or a very close friend (you find excuses to hang out with each other as often as possible).
My son has a best friend next door. They call each other daily- after school. (our houses are next to each other). When I say call- I mean call: as in shouting out each others name.... lol. Our whole loop hears them every time they do that. They've been best friends since they first met each other- both are 9 & 10 now.... they were 5 & 6 when they met. This boy's grandpa has a best friend who comes to their place every single day. That's close friendship!

Answer 7

I would say NOT to confront her because people rarely ever see your side when you tell them they're wrong. I would simply phase her out of your life by keeping contact to a minimum. Also realize that not everyone's friendship should be on the same level. It's nice to have friends of varying degrees and maybe you just need to "downgrade" this friendship versus ending it all together. I've done that recently and it worked out fine.

Answer 8

A friend is only your friend if they have the same values as you. Values are things that you believe in (not necessarily religion) such as:
Good values:
Honesty
Courage
Integrity
Caring
Respect

Bad values:
lying
stealing
cheating
abuse


Your problem:
The best way to approach this problem is to talk to her in a nice way. Start the conversation out like "Hey how's it going?" or "Would you like to chat?".
This should work (don't forget to smile). Then, ask her if she likes you or about the things she doesn't like about you. (If you are shy about saying that ask if you are still friends). Another tip is to help out. This should bond the friendship better.

Best of luck!

Answer 9

Friendships are supposed to be mutually beneficial and a source of happiness. Your "friend" doesn't seem to realize that a friendship is like a bank account.... One can't draw on it if nothing is put into it.
You should air your concerns with your friend and decide what to do based on the reaction. if your friendship is truelly valued, your "friend" will strive to be a better friend to you.

Answer 10

It's time to stop being friends when the friendship no longer works for you, or for the other person. Friendships should be mutually enjoyable, and if they aren't then they aren't friendships anymore. She sounds very selfish, and you apparntly need more rom her than she is willing to give. Sounds over to me.