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But recently he has gotten ALOT better. He hasnt done or sold any of them and hes moved out of a really bad situation and also been promoted at work. Anyway...the downfall is that he has taken up drinking. He never used to drink, he just didnt like to. But now that he doesnt do the drugs i guess he thinks he needs sumthing to fill it. He drinks almost every night. Now I don't have a problem with drinking, I myself will drink occasionally like on weekends but every night is too much. My dad has been an alcoholic all my life, I dont know him any other way...and I always swore to myself that i would NEVER be with anyone like him, to put myself and my future children through all his bullshit. So am I being crazy or overreacting about my ex's drinking? Do i need to give it another break like with the drugs until he gets through it. Maybe it is just a phase....and it will pass? Im not sure what to do

2006-11-28 02:39:50 · 8 answers · asked by emily_dotdotdot723 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

8 answers

you are NOT overreacting. all i have to say is you deserve better than that....you said yourself that your father was the same way and you refuse to put yourself into that situation again. i know it's hard becuase you love him and he has changed before, but what if he doesnt? there is nothing wrong with separting (at least for a while) to see if he loves you that much, loves you enough to change his drinking habits. you should never be in a relationship that is anything less than what you want it to be. it's okay to have standards. and it's okay that if somebody does something that you're not OK with to walk away. I know it sounds cliche, but if it's meant to be than he will do anything and everything to keep you in his life. you just have to tell him exactly what it is that's not working, don't go around assuming he knows. be honest and straight with him, then tell him you love him but not his actions and he can hit the door. good luck honey.

2006-11-28 02:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i'm in restoration from utilising hardcore drugs for the reason that i exchange into sixteen. I merely grew to become 40 and have been clean for the reason that 2003. i'd choose to understand how old he's and how long he did use and drink for. If he did it for an prolonged time then confident, he would have durable effects on the techniques from alcohol fairly. in case you lookup those drugs on the internet it assist you to understand what variety of effects on the techniques it does have. There are some particularly exciting info at here. the solid information is absolutely everyone can get help, and absolutely everyone can get their lives jointly, you assert he's no longer utilising yet continues to be having worry pulling himself jointly. in specific circumstances it particularly is purely a rely of fixing the way you think of and percieve issues. Its all approximately changing your habit. you would be clean and sober yet once you nonetheless are having a similar behaviors then it particularly is very nearly like your nonetheless utilising. It sounds to me that he's having a no longer common time protecting down a job. it is not common to declare whilst i don't understand the guy and that i don't understand what variety of guy he's. Is he lazy? Does he no longer choose to income what to do? you realize what I mean. which could be absolutely everyone, no longer purely an addict or alcoholic. it particularly is all approximately MOTIVATION. desire this facilitates somewhat

2016-10-04 11:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Speaking from personal experience...... It's not a phase .... he is an addict. He has traded one addiction for another. It's hard to say what he will do, I know that I traded drugs for drinking...... and I am still drinking. It comes down to this... can you or will you live the rest of your life with someone who depends on some chemical form to make him feel "normal"?

2006-11-28 02:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by ~Crystal~ 4 · 0 0

This happens alot to people with addictive behaviour...they trade one addiction for another. I would listen to your heart. You've lived with an alcoholic your whole life and you know what the problems with that are. Just be sure to take care of yourself first in this situation.

2006-11-28 03:21:22 · answer #4 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0 0

He has obviously substituted legal alcohol for illegal drugs which
is an improvement but he is apparently an addictive personality
and you should be very concerned about his becoming an alcoholic like your Dad.....Talk to him about the dangers of alcohol but tell him you understand his using it as a crutch to get away from drugs but
that it cannot become a habit...

2006-11-28 03:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He needs time without you to appreciate what he's really had. After he has seen that you will not except him with all his flaws, he will straighten his life out for you and the kids if he really loves you that much.

2006-11-28 02:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

sounds like you guys need to comunicate your likes and dislikes of each other and work through it if he's worth staying with otherwise just move on

2006-11-28 03:41:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

goodness...you need to get away from all that crap.

2006-11-28 02:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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