I've made my mistakes in our relationship, but we decided to stay together and work on things. Now he is having some real control issues, well really always had them. He expects me to do as I am told, or puts that unspoken threat of his leaving out there. (that part is very clear) Should I play along, and act like he is the one in control or should I just let him know that it will never happen?
2006-11-28 02:20:47 · 12 answers · asked by Rock n Robin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
How important is your self-esteem? How important is your emotional well-being? How important is this control freak that you decided to be a doormat to keep him around?? Let the jerk leave. Or call his bluff and see if he really would go. Either way you'd be better off.
2006-11-28 02:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having an affair can bruise someones ego for years unless you acknowledge how deeply you have wounded them. I personally have never had to deal with it buy my cousin has and I can tell you that unless the person who had the affair realizes and puts the other persons mind at ease that what you did was a mistake this could go on the rest of your life. Anyways it will take time your partner to trust you. The question is do you love this person enough to make it work because bottom line you are the one who made the mistake and you have a little making up to do
2006-11-28 02:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by COCOA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably do as you are told for a while and until he
gets some confidence back regarding your loyalty..
Your husband is the head of your family..forever..
That does not mean you have no rights or freedom but he is
the dominant partner and you are the submissive partner...
If you are of the opinion that his being in control "will never happen" or is at best a temporary concession on your part then your relationship / marriage will eventually fail..
I am not suggesting you accept any abuse from an unreasonable controlling jealous domineering husband but reasonable feminine submission to your husband is necessary for a successful marriage...
2006-11-28 02:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is controlling you and you know it and expects you to be at his beck and call whenever he wants you then he has control issues. He has a problem and the problem is him and not you. The best thing you can do is to dump him. Let him go and have nothing more to do with him. If you continue to let him control you then things will get worse and you will lose all your freedom. In fact it could lead to him abusing you and as long as you allow him to control you he will take more liberties with you and control more of your life even to the point that he will control who your friends are and maybe even keep you from seeing your own family. Do you really want this to happen?
2006-11-28 02:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using your cheating against you in order to get what he wants. You have to decide if you are willing to do what he wants in order to stay with him. If you think he's going too far, then tell him to file the divorce papers.
You are not an object or a pet. You are a human being that has the ability to make her own choices in life. You should be free to do what you choose (within the realm of being married, of course), although cheating is not included.
Choose between freedom or submission. It's your life. You decide.
2006-11-28 02:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not about control as much as fear. He's afraid you will hurt him again.You need to give him every reason to trust you and it could take time. Don't let him use threats of leaving. You need to sit down and reach an understanding about what each of you need and agree to do and say things to heal your relationship. You need to commit to be his partner and don't give him reasons to not trust you. If this relationship is important to you, you will be flexible enough to make him secure about your commitment to him and assure him that you are sorry you hurt him and made him feel like a fool. You need to buck up and do whatever you can to help this relationship heal.
2006-11-28 02:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the trust is gone, it's impossible for it to ever return to the same level. No it doesn't warrant your partner making you feel guilty enough to do as he wants. Shouldn't one of your options be to end it? He's not going to change. Women forgive men for affairs so much more than men do. It's such an ego bashing experience for them the hate stays on.
2006-11-28 02:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by Craiova 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him still, or are you just sticking around because you feel bad for what you did? If the former, you need to have a chat with him and see where he stands on the issue. If he has problems giving you space, you need to end it because it's unhealthy for both of you. If the latter, then you need to end it because it's unfair to him. Hope this helps.
2006-11-28 02:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by jaded1004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are heading for another problem, a CONTROL issue! You obviously are not a correct fit for each other, why prolong the issue? Get out while you should.
2006-11-28 02:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him know that it will never happen again
tell him ur sorry, u love him and only him it was a one time mistake, it aint ever gonna happen again
and then work on the control thing
cause its totally gettin to ya
2006-11-28 02:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by help_me_plzz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋