Husband communicating with ex-girlfriend?

Question

I have recently found out that my husband is communiacting with his ex, via email and phone. I would like to put a stop on this without confronting him cause i don't want to be lied to in my face. Also he doesn't know that I know his email password which also complicates things.

Answer 1

Chin her!

Answer 2

I don't get it. You are asking how to put a stop to these communications, but why? If you have his email password, then you know what the emails say. Either they are innocent, or they are not. If they are innocent, just get over it. As several people have pointed out, what's the big deal? So, he's talking to her, so what? On the other hand, maybe they are not innocent. You imply this when you assume in your question that your husband will lie to you if you confront him. If this is the case, however, stopping the communication won't help. He might find another route of communication. Even if you were somehow able successfully to cut off all communication between him and her, you are still left with a husband who wants to be unfaithful, so where is the benefit? Summarily, then, you need to either a) drop the matter and trust your faithful husband, or b) confront your unfaithful husband and start working out the problems in your relationship.

Answer 3

Oh I would say nothing n play detective to make sure that nothing is going on first.I would even go as far as seeing if i could get phone records to see how many phone calls.Then I would aproach her first if they r doing anything.If he isn't then he shouldn't hide the fact that he is talking with her but he is behind your back.I would also think of taking another aproach n just come out n ask give a chance to come clean.You r married an e mail should not b hidden from your mate.Man i don't know i think i would lose it and tell him if i caught him doing anything while we r married to sleep with 1 eye open cause i would start off by slightly sedating him then tie him to a chair n wait till he's coming around and slice his u know what like a bananna nice n slow and shove it down his throat.It's just a SICK thought that i told my ex yrs ago but as a joke even though if i had found him with someone n was sick in the head it would b something i would probably think of doing LOL good luck n i hope all goes well for u.Who knows i would just play detective first make sure u know all details before confronting him or just ask but if he is hiding the fact he is talking then he might lie if there is something else so do your research first.

Answer 4

Double edged sword............by confronting him you will have to admit that you had 'spied' on his e.mail. What you don't say is why you find the contact threatening. How do you know about 'phone calls? Have you overheard them? If so, that may be an opening. You don't say, for example, if he has a reason to stay in contact with his ex.........like a child.
Don't see how you can, reasonably, stop the contact with confrontation, unlss his ex is blissfully unaware that he is now married. In which case, a e.mail from you from his account may do the trick but only if couched in a chatty way.........like.......Hi, 'm X's wife, nice to meet you and wondered why we don't meet up and get this friendship out in the open.
That'd take some courage though and may be tricky to explain to your husband.

Answer 5

I would confront your husband. It will look bad that you've been checking his e-mails without his consent, but you have this to bring to the "debate":
1) He shouldn't mind because you should have no secrets
2) The evidence shows your actions were justified
3) You may have invaded his privacy, but he's disrespecting your marriage
4) If he was honest, you wouldn't have to do that.

Its important that you confront him, ask him why he's doing it. At the moment it's via phone and e-mail, but if you don't act soon, it could lead to them meeting up in person. Say no more.
The biggest factors that lead to break-ups are due to secrets and lack of communication. Be honest with him, tell him what you did. Explain why you felt the need to check his e-mails (rightly so in this case), and tell him how it makes you feel that he did ity behind your back.
Your actions will be upsetting to him, but his are much worse.
Good luck xx.

Answer 6

The only thing is to confront him and you ask him in a way that has he been talking to any of his past girl friends and if he lies then you need to let him know that you know that he is and you won't to know why he feels he needs to talk to the ex and you know his computer is telling the truth and in away it is and act of cheating and you have the right to know what he does on the computer because he has showed that he isn't honest. Or you say nothing and there isn't anything you can do

Answer 7

Ask him outright what is going on!
Ask him if you would appreciate it if he was put in the same position, and ask him honestly which relationship is more important to him.
If shes married or in a relationship invite them round for dinner there's no reason why you can't all be friends if he's that adamant. Thing is if he's not so keen to let you or her partner share in their friendship, ask yourself why. I went through this with the father of my children a few years ago. I rang her and blatantly asked her what was going on and she said they were just friends, when I said OK that's cool we should all meet up so i can get to know her as well, she said she felt that wasn't a good idea. I left him a few months later, and needless to say he was shacked up with her within a month!

Answer 8

Try to boost your marriage by trying to be extra nice to your husband. Figure out what's the problem between you and your family. Lavish him with love and do a little make over. Men will never fool around if they are satisfied with their wives. Do a lot of special things for him to make him notice how lucky he is to have you. That will hopefully move his conscience and stay away from his ex. Try not to confront him now but rather make the difference then if everything fails that's the time you have to confront him. It is the last resort!

Answer 9

Is his ex, against your marriage? If so, you need to confront your husband in a loving way and tell him how much this hurts you. But also remember he is not married to her but you. Love and support is the best thing you can give your husband. Remeber love is kind, it does not envy, it is not jealous, it does not behave rudely, rejoices in truth, bears all things endures all things, love never fails. Be the woman every man wants. Kind, good and understanding. There is a good chance you are feeling insecure. I understand that more than you know, but I also know my husband always comes back to me. My husband also comunicates with his ex. It is hard. But to give him an ultimatum or argue over it would only show my insecurity and jealousy. Hang in there and give it to God.

Answer 10

If he hasn't told you himself that he's talking to her then something is definitely wrong. But don't confront him until you've found out everything you can on your own. If you do he will deny all and hide it better. And don't fall for the usual lines, like: "You are too controlling and too jealous!" or "How dare you invade my privacy!" What does he need to do with her in private anyway?! Ask him if it's okay for you to do the same thing he's doing and keep it to yourself. I don't think he'd like that very much.

Answer 11

Its quite rare that ex's stay friends, it just doesnt seem to happen, but there are exceptions to the rule.Why would he not mention to you at all that he has been speaking to her? Why dont you, while your watching tv, try to bring your conversation around to relaionships if you can, maybe mention how you seen an ex today and how he looked older, and just speak to him so that it provokes something from him to speak about his ex, afterall, why would he not mention her while your on the subject? If he doesnt, then maybe he's up to something.Secrets and lies are not good, and he seems to be trying to keep this a secret....