I have been married for over 6 years now and I try really hard with my inlaws. From the time we got engaged my sister in law got jealous (she was married with 3 kids and pregnant with #4) and was very mean to me every time I saw her for the first 4 years of our marriage. I pretty much took it for all these years without saying much. I just left her company upset. It has been better but she gets in her moods and it starts again. Her sister sided with her (although I didn't do anything wrong except marry their brother) and I have had both of them to contend with, lots of snide remarks or questioning everything we do. They are very buddy buddy even to the point where they live next to each other. I cant tell one of them something without the other one knowing as soon as we hang up the phone. It is very hard. I pretty much try to distance myself from them, I find myself dwelling about it and I get myself upset. My husband is afraid of his sisters and wont say a word Any advice?
2006-11-28 01:45:29 · 11 answers · asked by Sunny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
SINCE YOUR HUSBAND HAS NO BACK BONE, IT IS UP TO YOU TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION, BUT BEFORE YOU DO, EXPLAIN TO YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU WILL BE DEMANDING TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND HE MUST BACK YOU UP, IF HE CAN NOT GROW A PAIR OF HARD BOILED EGGS BY THEN, STAND ON YOUR OWN WITH DIGNITY AND DO NOT STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL! MORE POWER TO YOU!
2006-11-28 07:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by brxny2000 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
One, make sure your husband understands how much you appreciate him sticking up for you. A lot of husbands would have blown it off. Two, tell him that while you are offended by what they did and you agree it was totally unacceptable behavior on their part, it was not so grave an offence as to warrant breaking all communication. This is about how they invaded *your* space, so if you're willing to continue contact, it seems kind of silly for your husband to push the issue. On the flip side, it may be reasonable to ask for their keys back so it doesn't happen again. Your husband might say something like "Sisters, I love you all very much, but what happened the other day was really, deeply inappropriate. I really don't want my wife subjected to that again, so I think for the moment it would be best if you would give me back the keys to my house. I still love you. You're still welcome here, but that can't happen again."
2016-05-22 22:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, get your husband to be a man. You are his wife and if he can not set his sisters straight then what does he expect from you. Tell him from me to stop being a whimp. His family should come first and that is you as his wife before his sisters. Of course you want everyone to get along, but the man needs to take a stand or else all hell has been loose for years as you say
2006-11-28 01:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by MeToo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut them off! Ignore the calls...you are busy...dont' ever let anyone take away your peace of mind, ever...that is yours and you need to protect it...when i know someone is not good in my life i just cut them away...make room for good, caring people in your life...I give this advice to my kids all the time. As far as them telling each other everything...they are sisters...I tell my sister everything too...so if you want certain issues in your life private especially situations with your husband they are the last people that you should confide in...call your gf instead. Learn from your mistakes or you will never get a step ahead in your life, everyone makes mistakes but it is those who learn from them that have the advantage. Take that step.
2006-11-28 01:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't pander to them. They are unhappy and you know how the saying goes...misery loves company.
Just consider the source when they criticize you and/or your husband. Really... How much does the opinion of a miserable little bitty mean to you at the end of the day?
Don't tell them anything, leave them guessing. They'll just go ahead and make up stuff to amuse themselves and you can have a laugh at their expense. You'll soon realize how ridiculous it is to waste your energy on them.
2006-11-28 01:51:22 · answer #5 · answered by snippers72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling anyone in that family anything. Tell your hubby he may be afraid of his sisters but you're not. They keep this **** up and one day you are going to go off on them. They'll eventually catch you in a bad mood and wish they hadn't of and you could care less if they like you or not, the feeling is mutual
2006-11-28 02:03:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea dont go. Who needs to spend time with an idiot. I have a brother-in law that I cant stand if I know he will be at a family function I get a headache and have to stay home. I do not suffer idiots well and feel life is too short to have to spend time with them. He is my sisters problem not mine.
2006-11-28 01:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by Belinda 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stay away from them all- they are your husband's family NOT yours. You don't have to deal with them at all.
I have been estranged from my in-laws for 13 years and it's been great.
Some advice though- people will treat you the way that you allow them to so get a back bone!!! Don't put up with it!
2006-11-28 01:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by Alison 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just keep busy when they r around , and avoid telling them your bussiness , the less they know the better, just give quick answers when talking to them , yes no, or i don't know ,and i don't know works real good , that way they can't tell others u told them things, it will keep u out of the gossip
2006-11-28 01:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by cc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to them about the way they act .since all you have done is marry their brother it seems that this family is to close and doesn't like outsiders
2006-11-28 01:54:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋