ok i been going out with this girl for a month and i really like her but recently she has been kinda down saying she misses home (she recently moved to london from scotland to train as a hairdresser) i dont wanna get to attached to her because i think she might end up moving back there, what should i do?
2006-11-28 01:04:59 · 26 answers · asked by Skillz_That_Killz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
enjoy the time you have with her-but brace yourself that it may end.you dont want to regret the last few days you have with her because you were too busy protecting your heart.It will bounce back-I promise
2006-11-28 01:07:48 · answer #1 · answered by cassiepiehoney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you live life never attached to anyone it will be a poor way to live. I don't know how far you are away from London to Scotland. It's always just a phone call away for sure. You don't say what your job is. Do you feel enough for this girl to eventually follow her if she moves? It might just take her some time to get over being homesick. I've been homesick before too. Encourage her to call home and talk to her parents. This will help. If you are there for her it will help her also. Let her talk to you about her family. Laugh with her. Ask her what is the most embarassing...funniest...silliest...thing you ever did growing up or some other stories that she wants to tell you about her family. And tell her about your family. She will want to know if she is really caring about you. The relationship can't be all about her. I sincerely hope this helps you to help her.
2006-11-28 09:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by Shell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. How would you feel about letting her know your reservations about getting serious? It may be it is purely homesickness that is at the bottom of the problem, or the lack of any worthwhile relationship could be adding to her feelings of loneliness. After all, how we feel about a place is largely due to the quality of our relationships at work and home.
It seems to me that if she then goes, you will feel her loss anyway, but at least you have given it your best shot. By explaining your feelings, even if she does leave, you are not losing by it. It MIGHT even be a deciding factor in her staying.
Your risk is that she might move back after you have become thoroughly attached to her, and that would hurt more than if you broke off with her now but that is a risk you could run with any relationship. After all, if you have an ex who lives 10 minutes walk away, that person could go back-packing in Australia or move to another town and be just as lost to you. Worse still, you could be seeing that ex frequently, keeping the wound open.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Only you can decide whether
the risk of pain is worth it.
2006-11-28 09:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by tagette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, dont turn your back on the issue. Talk to her about her homesickness. Maybe you can have a romantic weekend in Scotland? Maybe surprise her with a Scottish meal. showing your understanding will help her.
Secondly - if she moved back, how much of an issue would it be? Long-distance can work if the relationship is important enough. Love doesnt come around that often - you have to sometimes just take a risk.
2006-11-28 09:08:35 · answer #4 · answered by ar233 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of risks and this may be one of those times where you're faced with a choice that might be sad no matter which choice you make.
You could meet a girl who loves London, has lived there all her life and never plans to leave - then she might get a great job opportunity and move away anyway.
If you really like her, I say go for it. If it goes somewhere, you might just be the thing that makes her see London as a place she'd like to be :)
2006-11-28 09:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Break the subject easy by asking if she is thinking about moving back. If you've been going out for a month that should be an OK question.
2006-11-28 09:07:14 · answer #6 · answered by Weave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may be right to not get too close yet. Your only a month in and in most cases that wouldn't stop people moving on. Try not to pressure her, she needs to make this decision for herself and as the old saying goes if you love them, let them go.
Sorry
2006-11-28 09:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Scottish Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to respect her decisions cause who are you to her in the first place.Just be nice and give her your best advice,i'm sure she'll appreciates you for being there for her.Besides,every girl likes a man's company sometimes.And who knows,she'll end up liking you.Just be sincere.
2006-11-28 09:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tercules 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join the Royal Marines
2006-11-28 09:06:36 · answer #9 · answered by tumbleweed1954 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
it is maybe the first time for her moving away from home. I remember myself first time i moved i was feeling strange and i was missing my family, my friends and everything i used to do there.
just wait....
2006-11-28 09:10:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋