I love my husband and we have a baby together but things just don't seem to work out for us. We always say that we will try to make things better but nothing ever changes. I'm so unhappy and I want things to work out for us but I just don't think it ever will. I don't believe in divorce so should I just stay in this unhappy marriage or should I try to find something better out there?
2006-11-28 00:30:32 · 22 answers · asked by guardianangel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you tried marriage counselling? I'm not a big advocate of it, mainly because it did not work for me and my heart was not into it. How long have you been feeling this way? I guess what I'm saying is, you need to think long and hard before making a decision. I understand you do not believe in divorce, but you have to look at your life from 10 years from now and decide if you are going to make a change. If you don't then you may regret your decision and end up resenting your husband or even your child for that matter for staying in the relationship. I left my husband about a year after I decided things were not going to work out. Would you consider a separation for a while so you could think things through. Sometimes that helps. We only have one life and only we have to power to change it in our favor. Only you can ultimately decide what will make you happy in the long run. Good luck!!
2006-11-28 00:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by pussnboots333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will try and give best advice I can so here it goes. I am newly married, things are pretty cool. I am seeing that with everyone I know, once children come into it, things go bad. People can yell at me all they want, I have seen it too often. People think children are the answer to their unhappiness which is nonsense, all it does is cause more stress, less free time with each other. I am a believer in "life is too short" motto. Why on earth would someone stay in a miserable marriage? I think people think that becoming divorced is embarassing or something, so they stick with it. Too many couples are in bad relationships, and don't believe in divorce, I do. There's no way in hell someone is going to make me miserable, life is tough enough, so why not be happy? I wish you the best, all I can say is, you two need to talk to each other to resolve this, because thinking about it will not solve anything. Best of luck
2006-11-28 01:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by godzillasagoodman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the truth here. Do you love and want things to work out for the two of you or because of the child? And what is everything that you have tried,with nothing changing? look at the facts and see the truth. If you just don't want to be married, then don't be. But if you love this man and he loves you, then you haven't tried enough, because if two people want the same things and feel the same way and are willing to do everything to make it happen, I don't see how it can fail. do you? I don't know what you are looking for, it is not always better on the other side. know that.
But if you are truly unhappy, then go find out and find your happiness, but remember everything start with you. You have to feel happy with you first. someone shouldn't have all the burden of making you happy. So take another look at you, your marriage and your husband before you go out there looking for something better.
2006-11-28 00:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-13 06:44:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't already, try couples counseling.
No couple is happy with each other 24/7. Good relationships require work, but are worth it. You both need to be specific about what it is you want to change, but then if neither of you is willing to make the effort, what's the point in staying together?
If you do decide to leave, do it because you want to make a happier life for you and your child. Don't leave just because you think you'll "find something better out there".
Best of luck!
2006-11-28 00:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mary L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want things to work because you have a family and you truly love this man then go to counseling together and try to figure it out.....but don't stay just because you don't believe in divorce....you all deserve to be happy and have a good life...none of you will if you stay in an unhappy marriage for that reason alone...good luck
2006-11-28 00:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking the question, you apparently do believe in divorce, which is sad, because you have a baby. The problem is with "trying" and not "doing". Start making changes in your behavior. Look to improve yourself. Write out some specific things you could do differently to improve your relationship and then post them where you both can see them. Then, do those things, every day. After you've done yours for a week or two, ask your husband nicely to post a list of his own. Encourage each other, praise each other's successes, and forgive each other's failing.
2006-11-28 00:54:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy I feel your pain. I have been in such a marriage for 21 years. Everybody on my side and her side of the fam. have stayed married for ever. I feel I am hurting her everyday but I really don't meen too. I don't think anyone can answer your question. In the last 5 years I have been making a point to go someone where with my friends once or twice a year and she been doing the same. I looked for better but the truth is I am nothing but trouble for someone to get involved with. I don't want to be a problem for no one. You have to stay or go there is no middle here.
2006-11-28 00:50:05 · answer #8 · answered by tac22151 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't believe in divorce but you're going to go looking for something better? Is this while you are still married? In today's society, sadly divorce is common. I don't think you want your child to grow up in a unhappy home, this will make HER life unhappy like yours. See a marriage counselor maybe that will help. Good luck and don't forget you have a responsibility to your child. If you divorce, do it soon, it will be easier on the child.
2006-11-28 00:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are staying because of your child together, don't - go with your heart, and remember, if you are not happy, chances are your child will pick up on that - give your child the chance to see what a happy relationship is.
Separation is an answer if you don't believe in divorce, you may find your partner feels the same way you do - counselling is another option - good luck, and remember life is short, so do the best you can
2006-11-28 00:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by flsj 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋