Fallen out with my best friend!!?

Question

I introduced her to my husbands best friend.As he lives 320 miles away we only really thought they would be friends as she is a single parent.Nearly 2 years later they r an item but our friendships with both of them is ruined.She houseshared with her ex boyf so they couldnt go there so used our house like a doss house never leaving us alone.She then got her own place and we havnt seen them since though not for the want of trying believe me.Me and her have now fallen out over our sons!!! I met her 5 years ago when my son was 1 years old and her son used to hurt him all the time even drawing blood at times.He gave him a black eye last week which was the last straw and I erupted saying a lot of things in hind sight I shouldnt have said. We used to be so close and now I regret introducing them and everything as it has ruined 2 friendships.What do I do?

Answer 1

Well talking is always a good place to start. Make the effort to get together and talk about everything. If shes really your best friend she'll be more than delighted to listen and comprimise with you. Dont worry hindsight is a great thing.

Answer 2

Why do you wish you never introduce them, two people have gotten together.Why is your husband friend not speaking to your husband or you? THAT friend needs to do the right thing by your husband. As for the two of you. at this point, you both have the right to be bad. you more so. She used you and your home for her needs.she needs to address that with a thank you and I am sorry. You did say thing , that you felt you shouldn't have and words are often hard to take back. but the truth is the truth, even when we don't want to hear it. I am sorry, but you had to put a stop to her child hitting. She needs to understand that. and truly it isn't OK. I would write a letter and thoughful./understanding letter with how you feel about her and her friendship and that it would mean a great deal to you if she could the past behind and work on rebuilding the two of yours friendship, with I will wait to hear from you. don't mention anything other than about your friendship. if she feels the same , she will respond, if not then let by gones be by gones.If she calls or writes and wants the same, once you two see each other face to face , then discuss the issues that had happen, but make her bring it up not you, sometimes less said the better. Both of you forgive and forget

Answer 3

i would suggest just going to see her and explain your anger at the time you last talked, she is a mother also so should understand because if that happened to her son I'm sure she would not like it. Then is your change to apologise for things that should not have been said you may find she is feeling the same as yourself right now. you just need to get together and talk this threw and hopefully you can both get back the friendship you have lost.
I wish you the best of luck with this situation

Answer 4

You sound a bit resentful, that she has not recognised the role you've played in her life, firstly by introducing her to your husbands best friend, and then providing them with a place to let them be together. If she is truly your best friend then surly you would have done all that and more for her, without resentment I feel that you are looking to her to validate your friendship, maybe you need to be a real friend, bless her and this new relationship, find somebody else to help and just be happy

Answer 5

Friendship is based on honesty, however sometimes you need to fully contemplate how people will react to what you're feeling.

Be gentle with people, especially if they can't see things welling up, beneath the surface. I'm a very open wear my thoughts on my sleeve sort of person, my best friend wasn't and when she exploded a whole lot of anger onto me I was absolutley gutted.

She accused me of things which weren't true and went a bit over the top. She hasn't apologized although I desperately want her to see her that the reason we aren't good friends anymore is because of her.

You've got to swallow your pride, apologize and explain your feelings, if shes a real friend she will listen and forgive you, as well as apologising to you (hopefully).

I hope it works out.

Answer 6

I suspect you are missing a good friend. When we are friends with people we do tend to accept more than we would tolerate but it obviously seems that she had no self confidence and felt she needed a partner more than a friend at the moment. Give her space, if she values your friendship she will soon be back eating humble pie. You also have to be upfront with her too or she will never know when she is doing wrong

Answer 7

Get rid of her she s a first class user and as for her son that says it all she obviously hasn't brought her son up well enough to teach him a bit more respect he should know not to hit other children especially at that age. As for your husbands friend he's just as bad both using your house, to get up to whatever and you let them you would think they would have more respect for you. My advice Show them the door.

Answer 8

yeah you shouldn't have let her 'cheat ' on your territory as it's come back to haunt you .
i realise you were only there to help , but unwittingly , you've opened a Pandora's box .
last line of defence --- try and have a pow-wow -- and resolve your differences , if it can't --or won't happen, then forget it and get on with your own life --- it's a difficult one but . good luck .

Answer 9

try talk to her tell her shes your best friend and that you dont want to fall out over a boyfriend or children make up

Answer 10

it was not up 2 you what happened beetween them you cant stop physical attraction, you werent to no it was going to turn out this way,