child (so she says). She has already told him that she won't let him see the child and doesn't want anything from him. I have found out that it's already going to cost over $1,000.00 just to see if it's his (she has slept around). The thing that worries us is that she told someone that she's going after him for support but doesn't have to let him see the baby. We were talking about trying to get custody of the baby because the mother is very unfit. She has written over $5,000 in bad checks and punched an officer when she got arressted for writing the bad checks. How can she do this?? I'm so so confused. I sometimes ask myself if I really want to deal with this for the next 18 years (I'm not the dad, I'm the finace of the baby's dad).....please help me!!!
2006-11-27 23:33:13 · 12 answers · asked by cutie girl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oh that's not all she's done!! She was a heavy drug user when the baby was concieved....I think she has stopped but geez, you never know. She told my finace that if the baby is messed up he's going to pay 100% for it (aka medical and child support). I work for DHS and I've got some people involved but I was told that since they were't married at the time of concieving that she would get sole custody of the child....why is our courts like this??
2006-11-28 00:09:29 · update #1
First off have him contact the local county government about this. Then contact the local Department of Child and Family Services. Since there is a possibility the child may be his he does have the right to know. He can demand a DNA test for the child in question in comparison to himself (This will only cost $300-$500) of which if the test reveals he is not the father he can sue her for reimbursement. I woud suggest you have him seek the legal counseltation of attorney. This should be free of course. They will put you in contact with a DNA test lab and they will let him know how much it will cost. Given the fact the baby will born soon and legal hurdles she will be looking for someone to sign the birthcertificate. She will have to answer for her past. She will not be able to sign or list your fiance's name on the birth certicate without the results of the DNA test if he files for some kind of injunction. Just get ahold of an attorney. She will not be able to collect child support without letting him see the child! This is illegal! He has rights too! Write down all conversations that you yourself have with her and same for him and her. Keep these till the results come back. If the results come back negative then you can dispose of the noted conversations. If it comes back positive then make sure to keep all of the conversations written down on paper. If she leaves nasty voicemails then leave them on the answer machine, same for text messages, emails, im's and so on! Don't let her know you are keeping all this information on her. Her past will come to get her in court if it goes that far! Good Luck!
2006-11-27 23:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by jls1znv9999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well that does seem like a hard situation to be in and i bet this will be a true test of your realationship with your fiance. but yes the mother is right she can go after him for child support and doesnt have to let him see the baby at all, i know that isnt fair and for as expensive as it is to get a DNA test, i would take her to court and see if there is a way to make her pay for it, if she really sleeps around than she wont want to and maybe she wont go after your fiance for child support, or like you said your other option is to try and get custody or at least visitation of the baby, either way it looks like you are going to have a long journey and i am sure you will be in court a few times, hang in there and remember there is a baby involved, and nothing going on is this babys fault, he or she still needs parents that love and care for them, i know you will be a big help and support your fiance all the way through it. good luck with everything i hope it all works out.
2006-11-27 23:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by puppy love 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get a test done to make sure it is his child. The things you mentioned wont be enough to make the court think she is unfit. She will most likely ask for child support. Tell her no visitation -no money. You and he can ask for custody but will most likely only get joint custody as that is what they do these days. That means the child will be with you every other weekend for 18 years. You need to decide what to do personally.
2006-11-27 23:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance needs to take a DNA test to confirm he's the father....if she's been a bad person (like the checks and drug stuff) he might be able to get the custody of the baby if he indeed is the father.
2006-11-28 00:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First step back and ask yourself if you really want this responsibility. Normally if he doesn't sign the birth certificate and she is going after support than a DNA will be added. Best thing to do is contact an attorney. Questions are free. Don't depend on Yahoo answers.
2006-11-27 23:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by starchild_kisschild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, there is places he can go to for paternaty tests where they are free. Secondly, women that doesn't tell the guy they are pregnant at least 5 months before giving birth is just looking for a easy target as to get money from. If I were you I would go out of my way to find dirt of this b@!ch so that the child can have a decent life. If the child is not his, then let sleeping dogs lie.
2006-11-28 01:37:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
An "abortion" at 23 weeks is taken into consideration unlawful in maximum places. I positioned abortion in quotations, because i'm fairly constructive you've to provide the baby, and it would want to then be disposed of. that is disgusting that some you may even evaluate this, and it will be puzzling to discover some one with own journey.
2016-10-07 21:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very judgmental towards this girl, but you do not seem to blame your fiance at all. Who found a drug user fit to have unprotected sex with risking getting her pregnant and not to mention risking getting sexually transmitted diseases from her. Think about that for a sec. Anyway a DNA test can clear him, so he could be off the hook.
2006-11-28 04:33:35 · answer #8 · answered by szubuti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the baby is his, he has just as much right to be with it as she does. As far as courts are concerned, they usually will go with who can care for the child the best. I would go talk to a lawyer about it.
2006-11-27 23:39:51 · answer #9 · answered by LokoLobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) If she is going to totally deny access then she can't claim support
2) Unless he acknowledges the child as his she can't claim support IF THERE IS THE SLIGHTEST DOUBT
3) If she want's to claim support then the courts will award costs of the paternity test AGAINST HER if they prove it's not his
2006-11-27 23:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋