To The Tune Of
"Goodbye" should only last a moment, a day, a week, a month
But the paths of life diverge our hearts, and it's these paths that surely trump
All our feelings left inside, when ones who were are gone
And it's in this moment, this awful time, when we truly feel alone
A value of vernacular voices vintaged deep within our vices
A democracy of deciept and doom that is the life to all devices
And leaving me alone, stone cold, will sadden me to pieces
'Cause freedom is a hardened cow, and my love deserves it leashes
****
I made this poem after discovering that a friend who I harboured a great deal of 'feelings' for was moving away. Oh and "cow" is suppose to be *****, but it would deter to the look of the poem.
2006-11-27 23:13:51 · 3 answers · asked by Aaron G 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
too long and wordy
2006-11-27 23:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by starchild_kisschild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its really good, but it seems to be missing something i just cant pinpoint what it is....sorry man
2006-11-28 07:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by bshelby2121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have too much time on your hand..
2006-11-28 07:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by NY has spoken 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋