Do you ever get fed up with daily routine??

Question

I've got a new job which is 8 Hours a week working as an sales assistant. I study part - time (5Hrs) which is two nights in a row
My partner at home alone and never tidy up after him but understandable because he's an accountant and works 36hours a week.
But when he does create mess, when he collect me from college and having just walked in my front door I see dishes lying on the worktop, not washed, he leaves his tie on the chair and could have been put away, he leaves his dirty clothes on the bedroom floor and the basket is 10 foots step away, what i'm trying to say is I come home from classes and I would be grateful if he doesnt create a much of a mess, I had to clean up this morning and now im heading into the city to get a few things and head to class, then tomorrow i.ve work, this weekend my mother staying over and I have no time to clear up the spare room and clean the rest of the apartment. I just wish he would tidy up after himself. let me get on with my coursework

the more he create a mess the more I have to tidy up after him the more I miss getting my coursework done, i am behind my work, but im afriad to asked him to tidy up after him coz i now what he'll say, oh hun Im tired, ive been working all day etc, and i do understand what he means. Am i being too soft or this the way I have to put up with???

I was working last Sunday, imaging I'm having to put up with the customer creating a huge mess in the shop, i'm having to tidy up after them and then having to come home and he was sitting on his backside and the apartment was the same as I lefted it!!

I'm going on Stike!! I'm leaving the mess behind, I just hope he knows I'm not a flipping cleaner.

he does cook his own dinner

I must go folk, please bring more of your "SAY" and I read them tomorrow, have a nice day. Cheer's

Answer 1

Tell him you're his girlfriend NOT his mother. There is no rule that says you have to tidy his mess away for him and by continuing to do it you're making him worse. You dont have to row about it - just tell it like it is. Tired or not - you're asking him to be reasonable in his habits and nothing more xxxx

Answer 2

Why is this "understandable" You've only cited 8 hours a week and part time for 5 hours over two consecutive evenings. This does not not seem to include your travelling time to and from your job etc. What about your study time??

Leave the dishes on the bench - if you don't have enough on which to serve dinner, then don't cook dinner. Get takeaway. If he leaves his tie on the chair, sit on it so it crushes (don't iron it the next morning) or better still throw it in the garbage.

As for his not putting dirty clothes in the basket - it's his problem, not yours. If he's an accountant, then he's smart enough to learn to use laundry and kitchen appliances.

Do not give in.

Answer 3

I think you are being too soft....... on HIM. So what if he's an accountant and works 36 hrs a week. 36 hrs is a normal working full time job for most people, some people work even more than that and still have to tidy up. I would be setting him straight, you are not his maid are you? You are letting him away with it and he is just being lazy. My husband is the complete opposite and we share the daily chores. No wonder you are fed up, looking after the home is a job in itself, he shares the home with you and should be sharing the chores.

Answer 4

Well, communication is the key, sweetheart. He may say what you said he would say but you need to come with a counter attack...not really an attack but compromise, see if you two can work out an agreement. Maybe if you both work togther it will get done faster. Or you can give him incentives...like get buck naked and start cleaning, when he gets all "interested" tell him he has to help or no "nookie" Or set days where it is your day to clean and then his. Sometimes men feel its the woman's job to clean up even/especially after them. Try different thing to get him to help. Try not to nag, just suggest. If this doesn't work...leave the mess (after your mum leaves ofcourse) and see if he notices there are no dishes and he can't even see his floor. Good luck.

Answer 5

I have a similar situation, where my boyfriend demolishes part of the house and then leaves the wood,dust,debris everywhere.....
So after working 8 hours and coming home to that I feel quite despondent.
However my moaning about it will only exacerbate the situation.
I clean it up and he notices, I only get annoyed if he doesn't recognise my effort or appreciate what I've done.
When I get really annoyed I simply, say to him, darling I'm working really hard, it's getting me down, can you please just help me this evening with the washing/cleaning etc and he's usually very willing to pitch in.
Remember a home is a home and it is meant to be a relaxing place, for both of you. Try to compromise and ask him to make a conscious effort to aid in the cleanliness of the house.

Answer 6

I work a 40hr week and live on my own and I still manage to do tidying up and running the house.

Your partner just sounds lazy. Working full time is not an excuse. What about working mums etc. It's a case of time management. Tell him to get off his fat **** and help you.

If he doesn't like it then refuse to do anything for him etc.

Play him at his own game, I can't stand lazy people.

Answer 7

36hrs a week aint exactly long hours. its a 9-5, just like most people. i work 9-6 (sometimes 7, 8 or 9) and i manage to keep things tidy (well, i atleast pick up my tie and put the dishes in the dishwasher). i thought i was lazy. I hate hearing bout blokes who take their wives for granted. i think you need to raise this with him - marriage is a partnership: share the responsibility.

Answer 8

Daily routine? Sounds like you're with a pig. He is being sexist to the extreme! With you working and going to school he should be helping you! 36 hours is NOTHING!! My husband works 50-60 hours a week, plus goes to school, and studies, and makes time to help with our two children and me when I ask!

If you are afraid to ask him for help you're with the WRONG GUY and you guys have problems and you don't know him well enough. You are too soft!!
If you aren't married DON'T GET MARRIED cuz you are obviously not happy with this circumstance. I would leave him, PLEASE. Is this dirt and crap worth going through to keep him? You are so unhappy and things are falling apart for you.
If you are married, you married somebody not compatible with you at all! I would seek help from a councilor on what to do! He is using you, woman.

Good luck!

Answer 9

it particularly is completely commonly used to fell that way. kinfolk life could be relentless. you elect some "Me" time. I play hockey one evening each week.I even have some hobbies at domicile that i can artwork on right down to the basement. Then no person will worry me for a pair of hours if i think the could desire to break out. I additionally elect to stand up early and bypass fishing some weekend mornings formerly i'm getting all wrapped up in chores. connect a gymnasium, or in basic terms get out and take a stroll via your self so which you have time away. Take a form in the evening, or set up some pals for a evening out each so in many circumstances. your individuals will thank you for it too.

Answer 10

Print out your question and then show it to him. Make him aware of how you feel. If you are just cleaning up after him and not saying anything of course he is going to let you. Otherwise, get a big old cardboard box, and pick his stuff up and put it in it every time he leaves stuff lying around. He will get sick of having to pick through it and put stuff away eventually. Once he realizes how much easier it is to take care of messes as they occur, rather than letting them accumulate, he may come around.