I am pregnant and will it be better for me to file for a divorce before the birth of baby or afterwords for child custody. I dont want any contact with him after the divorce will it be possible?
what rights will he have?
Its been its been 9 months to marriage and am staying with my parents from 2.5 months.
I am from a decent family and I dont want to bring out the matter that he was abusing me ...
in an Indian family its gets very difficult to stay with the after effects of a divorce. I am really very confused as what to do...or should I continue to stay separate without taking any action...
2006-11-27 22:47:51 · 6 answers · asked by 28March2007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You better talk to a good Lawyer, especially someone who especiallises in divorce cases.
You can goto family court if there is one where you live. Family courts deal with these situations .
You may get full custody of your child in your case.
As for abuse, I would suggest dont hide the fact. It may be important during proceedings. And may be helpfull in getting you full custody of your child in future too.
Divorce is not that easy if you hide such an important angle. You dont need to be ashamed of the abuser. I know many women who feel ashamed of the fact that their husband is abusive. The truth is opposite. Especially when wife dials100. When police appears at the door ready to take them , they get a hint that their behaviour is not going to be tolerated anymore.
Do not leave anything negative out, when filing for divorce.
In India divorce proceedings are not easy. If you will leave out this abuse part, divorce case may linger out for years.
You may have to wait at least a year (from the date of your marriage) before filing a case. You will have to show that you have strong reasons not to compromise anymore and all that....
My strong advise : Get a lawyer. Dont hide anything at least from the lawyer.
There are also women's cell etc. try out the organisations which help women in your condition. Believe me sometimes they may have really good advise to give.
Divorce wont be easy if other party is not ready. He may drag it for months even years .
And dont hesitate to involve police if there is abuse. It may be good for you in the long run. At least one couple I know got benefitted by the fact that wife finally decided to go public, after 6 years of abuse.
She called police. Though she took her complaint back and nothing much happenned. But when the police came at the door called her husband, told him the list of what can she do in such a case , and asked them to goto Police station that gave the husband a reality check. Its been 2 years since then. The husband hasnt turned into angel but has been behaving since then.
Get to know all your rights if you stay in the marriage. It helps to boost your confidence. I m not saying not to divorce and compromise .But you never know and the information helps.
2006-12-02 20:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by rian30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont let culture bound your actions.
I know how hindu families are, highly sensitive towards marriage and especially single moms.
You certainly need to get out this marriage if you feel there is no safety from his abusiveness. Put it this way, if you decide to stay or hang on, your child is going to become a victim like you, or even worse you might take your anger upon your child at some point because of stress.
Explain to your family ( give other reasons if abusive isnt appropriate ) and act quick. Do things legally so you dont have to fight for your child later part of the marriage.
Its much better to raise your child in a safe environment with a happy family rather than with abusive father. There is always a price for everything including a happy life for you and ur kids.
Leave apart those people who are going to talk things ( i know indians talk too much behind ur back especially in family). The bottom line is, people will talk with or without any reason, even with ur action or without it, people with mouth always talk.
Do wat is necessary for you and your kids and be strong. I am sure sooner or later things will calm down and you may lead a normal life.Every court allows you to file for a divorce regardless or religion . Talk to any lawyer and get their advice on how to implement. They might give you really good advice or there might be hope to safe your marriage. You will never know.
However , you dont have to live with something u dont want to
Wish you all the best
2006-11-27 22:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anne H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no need for any special marriage arrangements. You can surely marry under the Hindu marriage act. So go ahead with the marriage as per the Hindu marriage act. Congratulations in advance for your marriage!
2016-03-28 22:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to stop hiding. keep records on when he is hitting you. get documentation. go to the cops when he hurts you. If not for you then to protect your child. You need to get a good lawyer and speak with him about protecting your child. The father does get visitation unless you can prove that he is abusive, neglectful but if you come out with the abuse you may be able to prevent him from being able to abuse your child by going for supervised visitation. Stand strong right now but be honest. It is embarrassing but you will find out you are not alone. Stay safe and good luck with your pregnancy. I walked away 3 months pregnant and with a 13 month old.Good luck.
Celebrating-13 year survivor
2006-11-27 23:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by cheoli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the choice to go back into an abusive marriage and a relationship is clearly right there in front of you------Stay with your family and stay seperated!
If you want a life of more abuse you go right back into it----my advice is if you value yourself as a human being you will seperate yourself from this abusive situation.
I will never understand the mid-eastern cultures---ABUSE is so prominent in these 3rd world countries and the very fact that the ABUSER is allowed to get away with it is appalling to say the least!
2006-11-27 22:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this marriage. You deserve better. Surely your parents would not want their child abused. Divorce him and raise your child on your own.
2006-11-27 23:31:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋