You are a woman - you are out in the pub and a guy you know from school approaches you and tells you that your partner has been unfaithful in a foreogn country with a foreign girl. You ask your partner and he denies it. You check your partners emails there is 1 email from the girl in question, saying hello, nothing more. You email her back pretending to be your partner, she replies saying she loves you and misses you (your partner that is.) You confort your partner again and he still says he has no knowledge of the girl. You go on Yahoo Messenger and chat to the girl, she says nothing happened, only a kiss goodbye on the cheek (as European's do), she says they met 2 times in a bar with other people/friends. You ask your partner again about this and he denies it again saying he has no knowledge of this girl.
For extra information: you have been with your partner for 8 years he has never been unfaithful or lied to you (not to your knowledge anyway.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
2006-11-27 21:30:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is very tough. I think you have to consider the source of the information. It all comes down to trust.
2006-11-27 21:34:11 · answer #1 · answered by Rusty 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hmmm... tricky! OK if it were me I would say that you have read emails from this girls and that you aware she exists so he might as well come clean. It seems to me that your partner met this girl for a drink or whatever, probably enjoyed the attention etc but did not cheat. He therefore feels that denying all knowledge is the best way to go about it because in his mind there is nothing to tell you. I'd make sure he knows that you know and that you want to the full storey, even if he thinks it isn't a big deal.
2006-11-27 21:50:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, the lengths you have gone to already worry me. You asked your partners after hearing a rumour from someone in a pub and when he said no you went and broke into his email to check? Nice. Good trust there.
I think you're on to a loser no matter what happens because you plainly dont trust the guy. Even if he is completely innocent its irrelevant because you obviously dont believe anyhting he says.
2006-11-27 21:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by Caffeine Fiend 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sit him down and give it to him in laymans terms, print out the emails, and the im's and ask him "so you have no knowledge of who she is, so a ghost must have written her?" because i dont think cheating is a factor, he obviously doesnt want to lose you. but he has a problem telling the truth. If he still denies it, you should let him know that honesty is the most inportant factor in a relationship and for him to clearly deni knowing this girl but he has emails from her clearly states that he is not telling the truth and you wonder what else has he lied to you in the 8 years you have been together, is he someone you want to continue seeing, love or honesty?
2006-11-27 21:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dont listen to these muppets that say believe your partner. How can you believe him when he says he has no knowledge of this girl and he clearly has a text message from her. He is a bloody liar - obviously. Sorry if thats not what you want to hear.
2006-11-27 21:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by sonny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question , but now you have to decide , what you want . Peace / horrible painful future or a happy , full of laughter and joyful home .
You have to change your self a bit if need to be happy , stop spying and nagging /questioning & insulting, better restart taking care of his various needs , by becoming his friend encourage him to be truthful , by acting as mother feed him all the three meals - becoming good host , by acting as a whore - spend night with him the way he likes & enjoy .
This is the only way to keep him with you or live in depression , choice is yours . Good luck .
2006-11-27 21:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard, but I would trust my partner. There are plenty of other things to consider, was he there? why was he there? who with? could it have been one of his friends and not him?
Has he responded to her email?
If nothing happened and he is not returning there then you have nothing to worry about.
If he is going back, and he is lying, then it's more difficult as something may start; but you need to be very grown up about it and just explain to him the quandary you are in, calmly and sensibly, because if he really is telling the truth you could alienate him and lose him anyway whether anything happened or not.
2006-11-27 21:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to do is to accept that your life ( 8 years) has been a lie and your patner has cheated his way thru it. Blame can also be laid on your door for deceiving the girl to get answers but any reasonable person would have done so, the best thing therefore to do is to move on darlin. It hurts but it may be the onlyway and remember nothing lasts forever.
2006-11-27 21:34:40 · answer #8 · answered by bigpercy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lolly, you sound like you're already in a state of denial. You want us all to confirm your well-meaning belief that nothing happened. Believe your eyes before your ears. Words are cheap'n'easy. Actions..........you know the rest. If there's any doubt in your heart the guy is lying, walk away. Don't waste any more time on him.
2006-11-27 23:16:32 · answer #9 · answered by Stealthbong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should listen to the person you have been with for 8 years rather than 'pub talk'.
Once you lose the trust in a relationship you might as well pack your bags.
2006-11-27 21:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by RRM 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one,
Maybe do some more research?
Find out more before you accuse him, it could ruin a brilliant relationship over a mistake.
Was there a friend who went with him?
If so, question him. But only if you know he'll tell the truth.
If not, then find out a bit more, maybe do some evil planning to catch him!
Hope this helps x
2006-11-27 21:36:13 · answer #11 · answered by Umvelopy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋