with a chick in California. They even exchanged phone numbers and he called her from his motel room when he was working on the road. He now regrets it and says he won't do it again...do I trust him? He has never been around a computer and I've been teaching him how to use one. Didn't know it would "nip" me back....would like some good constructive criticism... thanks
2006-11-27 21:11:39 · 18 answers · asked by chatterella 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think I'm being paranoid...I archived all of his instant messages with her and found out he was teasing her and telling her not to i.m. because I was in the room. Then he told her he was thinking about her t i t s...! you figure that one out ...
2006-11-27 21:35:55 · update #1
Going through that with my fiance. I have learned to go with my gut. If you feel that he is still doing things behind your back then he probably is. Of course he regrets it, but I doubt it will stop him. Most people can't change bad habits. You have to ask yourself how much you can take until you leave him to his own deceit. That question has been going through my mind a lot lately. Sorry to hear about your troubles and I hope that your husband will make the right decision.
2006-11-28 07:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right not to trust him he did this behind your back because it is not something he could do in front of your face. This is what they call an emotional affair...and seriously if he wanted to chat wanted phone or Internet sex he could have called you so you have every right to be mad to be upset and to ask questions.... He was looking and how far will he go next time did he tell you or did you catch him these are all questions. Can you trust him again or do you have an anger deep down that you want to return the favor. get counseling and find out why he behaved like this also cheating hurts spouses is he actually sorry or did he brush it off like it was only the net and a phone....I am sorry this Internet cheating thing is turning into an epidemic.
2006-11-28 05:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The internet is a place to find all kinds of things. I would forgive and move on. He obviously was excited by the attention from another woman. I know that does not excuse him at all, he obviously knows what he has done. People make mistakes, we are only human. If he loves you and you love him, let it go and don't throw it up in his face unless he continues on with it. Also don't snoop, I have a friend right now that her marriage is almost over and she snoops and does not want to take her own responsiblities for anything. Give him a chance. You may have to ask for forgiveness sometime.
2006-11-28 09:06:48 · answer #3 · answered by missy j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband made vows to you, didn't he? The nature of these conversations, were they such that he broke his vows? My guess is yes, and if so, your trust has been abused and broken. It is natural, human, even godly to revoke your trust. He has to earn your trust again.
But talk with him about it, don't make him play some guessing game, don't test him without him knowing you are testing him. Tell him how your trust has been violated, and what he must do to earn it back. Make sure he understands it will not be easy to regain your trust to the level it was at before he chose to be unfaithful. Discuss what the consequences of his behavior are for the time period in which he strives to regain your trust. And give him sufficient trust to let him start on the path you have agreed upon.
2006-11-28 05:37:15 · answer #4 · answered by ode2water 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that if he is this quick to find a chick to fool around with on the puter,then you had better worry because I would suggest that he isn't any stranger to fooling around. Better take a closer look at what he does in these motel rooms.
2006-11-28 09:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by nidan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he travels and uses Motel Rooms and he has not strayed what are you worried about surely you have much more going for yourself than that. I would let him chat he can anyway when on the road .
2006-11-28 05:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really have no alternative but to trust him, otherwise your marriage is rocky. It sounds as though he was 'only' talking but even so, perhaps he needs a firm but loving reminder of what marriage is about and what he promised to you.
Personally, I have several very good female friends online, some of whom I have met. I made no particular secret about having friends, however, since they are just friends (and all attached, too!)
2006-11-28 05:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by Owlwings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope the motel room wasn't in California...You know him better than anyone...ask him if you can check the computer log.see
what his reaction is! Good luck!
2006-11-28 05:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everybody seems so freakin paranoid. You all sound like my wife! I've been talking to a couple of very nice ladies for a while as FRIENDS.
One of them is so sweet that I see her as a sister. Sometimes a person has to talk to somebody different for a different point of view. I know how my wife will react when I try to tell her my dreams and thoughts. I'm sick of that eye rolling look she gives me, so i have a few friends i talk to.
2006-11-28 05:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
At least hes limited it to the computer and a phone call if it was pass that id be more worried at least with those two you don't have to worry about sexual diseases or him knocking someone else up
2006-11-28 05:13:51 · answer #10 · answered by DR.PHIL-A-LIKE 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋