Can you Help Me PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

i think ive lost physical attraction to my fiance! he is so sweet we have been together for 3 years and engaged for two nearly! we have also been nestfriends through school for 6 years were only 19 and our sex life has gone down hill already! i know that things change in a long term relationship after a while but this isnt good, i love him very much as hes been my bestfriend for over 5 years!! we get on really well and have a laugh but i just dont want to sleep with him anymore...im always making excuses like im tired or i dont feel well! i dont no whats going on with me! i dont want to hurt him by breaking up with him id miss him like crazy! hes a good looking guy but why am i not attracted to him anymore. i am actually attracted to anouther guy aswell. i love my fiance to bits but now im starting to think it may just be as a mate! im also very close to his family and i love them so much i dont want to hurt them! Ive talked to him about it but i really dont no what i want! id miss h

Answer 1

You are only young and i think you should have a bit of freedom for a while and that will help you make ur mind up whetther you want to be with him or not.

Answer 2

OK there's a lot of things going on here. First of all, sexual attraction and desire is not always constant - it can vary according to how you feel, what time of day it is, what else you are worrying about, etc.... so don't expect to be permanently 'hot'. After the initial lust of a new relationship has worn off, then you get 'used' to someone and often have to spice things up with a few toys or some games. Anyway, it may be that you are just going through a phase that will wear off.
Next - you're 19 and have been together for three years - you are an entirely different person to the person you were at 16, and you will be entirely different again in three years' time so there's a little to think about here - whether you want to make a decision (liek marrying someone) at 19 which will affect the rest of your life, say the next 50 years or so. Remember what you were like at 9, and how different you are now? Well in ten years' time - at 29 - you will have changed so much again and what you consider you want now is not what you want in the future. So relax and think about things a bit - don't be rushed into committing yourself yet.
Do you feel you have missed out on a bit of 'experience'? If he has been your one and only since you were 16, and your friends are having fun, then maybe you want to get out and try some more things.
There's plenty here for you to consider BUT, take it from me, the most important ingredient in a marriage, in a lifelong commitment to someone, is not love - it is friendship. Being really true friends creates an environment in which love can grow and warm you. Being in love can often fizzle out, especially if you don't like things about your fiance.
Howeve,r in summary, I think 19 is a little young to commit yourself - perhaps you and your fiance can agree to hold off on the wedding plans and keep going as a normal couple without that pressure to commit.
Good luck.

Answer 3

First, do not cheat on your fiance. I do't care what rationalization you could use, just don't do it. If you love him, do not hurt him. Leaving him will hurt him, but not as much as a betrayal.
Second, have you lost interest/ motivation/ pleasure from things you used to enjoy? Are you depressed? This is a common cause for decreased libido.
Maybe you are starting to worry because he is the one you may spend the rest of your life with. The only one. It sounds like you are still pretty young, so that would be understandable. Just remember- Physical attraction is very exciting, but it will never give you the fulfillment of a lifelong best friend/ lover/ partner...

Answer 4

Your young and trivial moments are ready to come towards your way. The key to survival is making wise decisions and weighing out the outcome as to "what good came out of your action". Just to be with someone temporarily (sexually), are you willing to lose many of those that sincerely care about you. Believe me, the other guy will be a short term thing. You will also risk the fact your fiance will move on with out you. The answer is, is it really worth it? Sex is something you both can fix in time (especially when you are young) but what you have between both of you are priceless because only very few can build love from puppy love!

Answer 5

I was in the same situation hunni, and then i married him!!
Been married for 13 years now and the last couple have been a nightmare.
I can honestly say that i love him, but not in love with him anymore, and i dont fancy hi either.
If this sounds like you....dont do it to yourself, because sex is a very big part of a relationship, no matter how long you been together.
Im just getting my head round that and trying to figure out a way of moving on....good luck
x

Answer 6

The short answer is that it is time to move on - and treasure the memory of what you once had - not many people as so lucky - you are changing and evolving - it isn't a one-way street so you could always go back in a few years - have the life you want, and not what you think you should have thro others - Keith

Answer 7

Do him a favor, and set him free. At least he'll find out now that you don't want to fvck him. He won't be imprisoned by a life of no sex. Quit being selfish and set him free. Let him get his groove on with all the hoes of the world. He will be ok...besides, there is no advantage for the man to be in a relationship, especially if his biotch won't give it up. Too much pvssy out there, to be stuck with a prude...

In time he will appreciate the shiit out of you leaving him.

Answer 8

I think you've answered your own question in the line that says " im actually attracted to another guy aswell". The longer it goes on the more hurt people will be. Good Luck

Answer 9

if u really love him then why do u say that u r interested in sum1 else i feel u should break the relationship as marrriage and love are companions without love no marriage can prosper it will affect your sexual life as u would not want to have a physical relationship with him

Answer 10

Take a break from EVERYONE! Get your head straight. Then you'll have a more clear idea of what you want and what you'll do. I'm talking about taking a few MONTHS. Pray for guidance.