I've been holding off asking this but can't take it any longer. My husband is addicted to chatting with women in chat rooms and doing whatever they ask of him. Some of them also get naked and do whatever he wants them to do. Not as many women do this as men. I could be in the next room trying to sleep but knowing what he is doing on the net prevents that. I will go into the roorm and ask him to shut it down and come to bed. He gets agitated and says in a minute. Most nights he stays up all night and then goes to work. I feel rejected, lonely, second best, and most of all cheated on. On occasion, he will ask if I want to join him and "perform" for someone that wants to watch the two of us have sex. As a way to stay connected to him and spend time with him, I did try it twice. I am not comfortable having sex with my husband knowing that others are watching. I enjoy chat rooms myself but do not take off my clothes for anyone. Cheating or not? What can I do or say to stop it?
2006-11-27 19:50:19 · 12 answers · asked by time4me2fly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just asked my lover, as I often ask him for his opinion on these types of questions. We both think that it's not cheating, but the guy has some fetishes. Maybe you should try and do something to spice up your sex life and satisfy your husbands fetish such as get a video cam and use in the bedroom together. You might want to try dressing up and role playing. You two can watch it later with eachother or alone.
Talk to him first. Tell him how you feel. Offer some compromises. Rebuild your relationship. You may even want to consider a counsellor if you get stuck. Good luck.
2006-11-27 20:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
1
2016-05-16 14:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Darlene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already answered your own question. Yes, it's cheating. Just because he does it in front of you it doesn't mean that it's appropriate. You have to remember that his "activities" are taking away from time he could be spending with you instead. I know he asked you to join but it seems like you are uncomfortable with the idea and you should never do anything you're uncomfortable doing.
You need to start communicating your feelings with him. By you not saying anything makes him think it's okay to keep doing what he's doing. You need to set boundaries on what is and isn't tolerable when it comes to "chatting" with other women. If you don't put a stop to it now, it will only get worse. Next thing you know, he'll be wanting to meet these women in person.
2006-11-27 20:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by jdhs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not cheating if he's not physically touching or having sex with them. It's his private time to do what he wants. If you had an erotic dream about a man, are you cheating on him? No. If you daydream about a hunky co-worker, is it cheating? No. It's just fantasy. He'll get bored with it eventually, and just try not to hold it against him. I'm a night owl and often get many things done at night when my wife would turn in early (her choice, not mine) even after I asked her if we could make love, so if I chose to stay up and chat, It's my purogative. Why not try to get to him before he gets on the computer or make out with him before he logs in. If he has no motivation to be on, he'll come to bed sooner.
2006-11-27 20:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I totally think it's cheating and would be pissed if I were you. I don't know what you can say to stop it. It's up to him to stop it. You can't change other people, you can just show them the way and encourage them and hope they do it on their own. This is something that you should talk to him ab out, sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him that his perverted addiction is ruining yall's marriage and see how that makes him feel.
2006-11-27 20:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by Kallie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is cheating. Not much of a marriage, is it! If he won't stop, then you have to consider what to do since it is disrespecting you so much....
2006-11-27 23:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think its a form of cheating but i still think you should speak to him about it and tell him how much it hurts you. you might have givin him mixed messages by trying it out twice.
2006-11-27 20:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's cheating.
2006-11-27 20:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is cheating.
2006-11-27 19:57:13 · answer #9 · answered by Life lover 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stolen kiss is always sweeter
2006-11-27 20:16:45 · answer #10 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋