My 15 year old runaway daughter is pregnant and wants to come home only if boyfriend can move in. help?

Question

she has been a runaway since june and her boyfriend is 17 and has been in alot of trouble with the police. my daughter has issues with lying all the time, she will argue about anything. she was abusing to my other 2 kids, ages 4 and 6, and she made reports to child protective services that my husband of 12 years was abusing her. ( which were totally false). what should i do??

Answer 1

No way. Tell her to take care of her baby or give it up for adoption where it can have a good home.

If your daughter disrupts the household so much it only means you will be raising one more child and her as well and then also the boyfriend. Absolutely not. Tell her to call Social Services where she is now living.

You inherit 3 extra children instead of the one you lost

Answer 2

Do you have proof that your 15yr old was abusing your younger 2 children? If so, did you call family services about that? If not, WHY NOT?

Your 15yr old made allegations against your husband, what if she isn't lieing, are you concerned about your other 2 children being in the house with him? On another note, has Child protective services done anything to help with you or your daughter?

On your daughter being a Runaway........have you reported her as a runaway to the police or family services. What are they doing about it?

Maybe you should get in contact with a lawyer and see what they say.


In Regards to the other Questions you asked, on the early posts....

If you daughter has been a runaway at least 10 times, why hasn't your local police department or juvenile division, gotten involved and helped in some way, especially if she tested positive for morphine. How long has it been, can you still do something about it.

Abortion wise, NO STATE will let a parent, husband or anybody, besides the women carring the baby decide if she wants to have an abortion. Many people that have responded, have suggested making her have the baby and then making her give it up for adoption. This is not allowed either in any state, unless you prove her unfit. And as anybody knows, it is next to impossible to prove a mother unfit.

It is her baby, regardless of anything and if she is all for raising the baby and giving it the best life possible, LET HER DO IT....
I realize she is only 15, but if you raised her right, then don't worry. Why would you won't a complete stranger raising your grandchild.............Why would you want to Kill your grandchild?
The baby didn't ask to be brought in this world, it deserves a chance, with the mother and father if he wants to be there.

I don't want to sound mean, but I had my first baby when I was very young and subjects like this, always upset me.
Which brings me to my next questions, this may be personal, but why are your kids, so far apart in age, were you young when you had your 15 yr old daughter.

Answer 3

As a mom, I say take your daughter in, if only for the sake of her safety and that of the unborn child. However, the boyfriend is not allowed to live there. He can visit for support purposes and so that he can be a part of the pregnancy process, but never should he spend the night.
As for the other children, I say that you should take more care to protect them from the older child. If she is continually abusive, contact children services and allow them to have custody of the 15 year old so that she is in adult care while pregnant.
Either way, the boyfriend is not an option when returning home.
You must be the parent and protect yourself as well. If police become involved, they could possibly charge you with child endangerment: 1) for allowing her to harm the younger children and 2) for knowing that your 15 year old daughter has runaway, pregnant, without adequate housing and prenatal care.

Good luck and make wise decisions for the rest of your family... not just the one child!

Answer 4

ok phone the boyfriends mum and explain to her how you feel and tell that if her and her son does not return your daughter to you by the next morning your phoning the police. And make sure your daughter knows this and what they can be prosectucted for. if she really loves him she will come back home. if she doesnt call the police. i dont know how this works in america but in the UK you can have people sectioned for 21 days (put them in a phyicatric hospital) and she has been threatening to kill herself. If you cant do that take to a part of the state where alot of runaways are and show them to her! tell her 'you'll end up like this if you do keep running away' 15 yr olds dont listen to what adults say but showing it to her amy have some kind of effect. all the best for you and your daughter L x

Answer 5

I would file for custody of your grandchild when born. She has to prove to the courts she is fit and stable enough to raise this child. For her to be a runaway, a good judge won't give someone who is not stable and can't provide for the baby, custody.

This is not about you or her. This is about the unborn grand child. By law, you have grandparent rights actually. Which I agree too, but I don't. Depending on the situation. To this situation, I agree.

However, I would also recommend to look back and figure out where she began this behavior of hers and what you were doing at the time. She might be rebelling against you out of anger or spite. If you can see where this went wrong, maybe you can come up with a solution of some sort. She might trying to assert her "independance" routine and "Im in love" emotion. However, you as a parent have to stand your ground.

This 17 year old is no good and he does not belong in your home. You can't stop her from seeing him but you can stop him from being in your home you have a right to.

I honestly will turn him in when he is 18. As a teen, I know I would be pis.sed off if my mom did that. But as an adult, I would understand and love my mom for that choice she made. Your daughter is thinking as a 15 year old. Not an adult. That is my point.

If she wants to live that life style, then let her make her bed and lay in it. However, don't let her drag that grandbaby down with her.

Get the law envolved in arresting her for being a runaway (runaway is illegal. You can also get yourself in trouble as she is not in school). Maybe she will get the hint when the police arrest her and bring her back home. If she takes off again 1) notify police 2) scare the 17 year old as he will be watched by police as he is associated with her 3) She will not look good in court when you file for custody 4) youth services will finally step in.

She needs help and controlling and demanding her is going to make her distant. I would recommend getting youth services involved in getting her into a runaway home or some form of counseling to see what is actually going on.

Answer 6

She's only 15 and you are her mother. You have the right to make her come home. She will be persistant with not wanting to and threatening you, but take it from someone whos been on the 15 yr old partof this. I'm thankful for everything my parent's did that I was against. You know the guy will only be bad for her and it is probably true. Now she has to grow up and be responsible, maybe she understands maybe not. She may be scared and think he's the only one who knows whats going on. Maybe she just don't want to be another single teen mother. Whatever the reason for her behavior, treat her with love. She will get over it as she matures more.

She's a 15 yr old teen wth hormonal issues of course she will be kinda crazy, but you are her legal gaurdian and its you job to protect her. I would get a restraining order against him for her before he ends up ruining her life. You can always seek child support after the baby is born, but don't expect a dead beat to pay. If she runs away, get the police involved. You now have a grand baby to watch out for too and if the mother isn't mature enough to accpet it help her.

Good Luck

Answer 7

I have a 15 year old daughter, and I hear LOUD and clear what you are saying. If it were my daughter, there is no way I would let her boyfriend move into my house. I really can't say what we would do if she were pregnant. We think we taught her right from wrong and how to respect herself and her body but kids are going to do what they want to do and realize all too late that Mom and Dad were right about a lot of things. Please don't beat yourself up about the current state of things in your life. If you know you did what you thought was right by your daughter and you did your best, the your heart and mind should be at peace. Its clear that she does have some serious issues and I pray you can get them worked out, but bringing her boyfriend into the mix would be wrong. Please don't let her manipulate you. Stand your ground and if she refuses to come home without him, let her hit rock bottom and maybe she'll see that she still needs her mother. People can say what they would do in this situation and what they would do if it were their daughter, but unless you have a teenage daughter in your house, save the negative comments until you experience it. They can be super sweet, but they can also be pure "H#%&".

Answer 8

She is your daughter. Support is a big thing when you're young and pregnant. If you decide to let her back in, lay down ground rules. Boyfriend in reality, probably won't hang around, so let him visit...not stay, but let them have private times together (no baby making practice though). Sit down and have a serious talk with the two of them, let them know their options. Show her support by looking into alternatives for living arrangements etc. Get her doing a course of some kind, keep her busy. Maybe if she realises that she's going to be caring for not only herself, but a baby as well, she may come good. But make sure she understands the rules before she comes home.

Answer 9

most of the answers in your question are already written. right now your asking for help regarding your runaway daughter, but have you ever considered "WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR HUSBAND AND 2 KIDS IF SHE COMES BACK HOME TO YOU". Yes definitely it will cause you more harm and bigger problems than GOOD to your household.Your feeling as a mother is nice, but remember this SHE IS NOT YOUR ONLY CHILD. You must also consider your 2 kids. Your a mother and a parent and YOU MUST RUN YOUR HOUSEHOLD ACCORDING TO YOUR RULES. She is still a minor and she must follow your decision. Just kneel down and pray for her, someday she will regret what she has done and will come back.

Answer 10

In my opinion...I think you should allow her to come back home, just so that you can be there for her. After all she is still your daughter despite the trouble. Hopefully you can mend what was broken in that relationship. But I wouldn't let her boyfriend move into the house. Now if it was her husband or fiance...then that would be different. I pray that the situation with your daughter gets better and that you can resolve the issue.