I am a perfectionist & very prone to obsessive thoughts resulting in very poor concentration. Its chronic?

Question

I have been like this since chilhood. At times I tend to get very obsessed with an idea or some speculative thought. I tend to schedule my future a lot dreaming about that everything is going to fall in place. I often invent an idea and cling on to it. I am not under delusion coz I understand that the idea I am clinging on to is not true or has very little chance to come true. Most of it is related to a girl whom I have loved since my teens and who happens to be my best companion, but she has never accepted me. Other than that I keep thinking of something great I might be able to accomplish some day for my myself and for my family. I am generally considered intelligent by my teachers and friends but have failed to deliever when it is required the most. As a result I have become very prone to negative and defeatist thoughts.

Answer 1

You sound like you might actually be suffering from adult ADD (attention deficit disorder.) Even though you feel like you are obsessing, the problem is you are unable to FOCUS on the things you need to. Your mind "wanders" into other things that do you no good. You need to learn task management and focus... how to break down goals into small, manageable tasks that you accomplish one step at a time. As you accomplish each small task, you create a positive feedback loop that helps you focus on the next thing, and then the next.

Adult ADD is a real, debilitating condition that will not simply "go away" by itself. In fact, it will hamper you your entire life, unless you learn coping strategies. There are many forms, from counseling to drugs like SSRIs. I highly recommend discussing your problem with a professional. There's no reason to put your life or abilities on hold.

As for the girl you've loved, that is a separate thing entirely, and will be a endless distraction until you accept that you are not going to have a relationship with her. I speak from personal experience when I tell you that if she is not interested, and you are, you are going to waste a lot of good years carrying a torch that will never be reciprocated. This girl will be your "friend" forever, but you will watch her find a guy, get married, and all the while you will be heartbroken. Your only rational choice is to say goodbye to her and move on. She won't understand, but you must do this or you will never grow beyond this adolescent infatuation that can never be.

No matter what, seek out a counselor and start LIVING!

Answer 2

There's nothing wrong with you. When the obssessions and compulsiveness begins to create problems in your life, if it interferes, then it is a problem. But you sound normal to me. You sound like you have an active mind. As long as you can distinguish between right and wrong, real and fake, you are fine. And as long as it doesn't hurt you or other people. When or if it does you need to see someone, a therapist. Because if you do have OCD there are medications for it that treat it easily.

Answer 3

Well it seems that you a dreamer. Start thinking straight and see the world that is revolving around you. You gotta start placing everything behind you now, move forward in life.

Answer 4

hmm....this situation kinda reminds me of myself. some perfectionists are scared or really turned off by failure, so they procrastinate until they have no time to do something and end up doing a crappy job or nothing rather than turning in something less than perfect.

go to therapy.

Answer 5

Give up perfectionism. This life is as good as it gets. take it or leave it.

Don't bother about what people say; most times all they are good at doing is screaming "more! more!" The way to be crazy is always trying to please people. That makes you obsessive.

Give up perfectionism. You'll be happier.

Answer 6

Two advices:just do it and just let it go