2006-11-27 17:19:03 · 16 answers · asked by Juan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If they would be telling their husband or BF for no reason other than to hurt them, or to clear their own conscience at their husband or BF's expense, then I would think that it would be better if they took their secret to the grave.
Having been in this situation once myself, not a happy memory I assure you, I remember wondering WHY she had told me? The truth of the matter was that she was using my feelings as little more than,,, toilet paper is a good analogy, to cleanse herself regardless of what effect it had on me.
It had been, what she termed a physical experience, that had happened long before she told me and there was no chance of her ever seeing the guy again but she insisted that she tell me in excruciating detail about her fling and then afterwards declared that "it was a big load off her mind". I'm sure it was but she had just dumped that load on me with no regard for my feelings.
When I told her that I was upset about it she said that it was over and I should just deal with it because, after all it was "only f*cking". I think her telling me that, as much as anything else, is what killed our relationship,,,and yes, even after all these years I must admit to still being bitter.
The funny thing about it is that I was probably as upset, perhaps even more so, about her using me as an emotional tampon as I was about the fling.
Better to keep the secret if you honestly care about him.
2006-11-27 19:04:14 · answer #1 · answered by MEL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like if it was a one time deal and you do not have any feelings for that person AND it won't be happening again, why stir up bad feelings if it is really not worth it? Now on the other hand, if it were a full out affair, that is not something you want clouding over you for the rest of your life. Besides if it were something major like that don't you think he would have the right to know. Put yourself in his shoes. Wouldn't you want to know? No matter how much it would hurt?
2006-11-27 17:31:30 · answer #2 · answered by iwannabeanofficer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say nope. No one can keep their secrets for the rest of their lives. Because somehow, deep within them, they are longing to tell somebody about it to release that feeling of guilt. They could tell their very best friend, a very close family or relative that they know they could trust, or even confess to a priest that they trust will keep their secret.
2006-11-27 17:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by kernel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure they can, of course in a moment of anger they may spill the beans. Or confide in a 'friend' which will probably get back to the husband eventually. (assuming no pregnancy or STD)
2006-11-27 17:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but not advisable. There is a thing called consience in most people which raises its head once a while and then you may be doomed.
2006-11-27 17:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by funnysam2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just as much as men
Men and women are very much alike on that deal. Heard it alot from both sexes. Men take it to the grave, so do women.
2006-11-27 17:21:41 · answer #6 · answered by jcsas_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible, especially if the incident was nothing more than to satisfy a physical desire- no emotions involved.
2006-11-27 17:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by eldvb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
2006-11-27 17:21:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THEY CAN. BUT WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITH EVERYTHING OUT HERE
YOU PLAYING A DANGEOUS GAME WITH HORRIBLE
OUTCOMES. GET THINGS OUT IN THE OPEN IS THE BEST
THING FOR EVERYONE.
2006-11-27 17:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either way yes, and as long as it is done with. Why tell
2006-11-27 17:22:14 · answer #10 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋