What would you do if your partner left?

Question

Hypothetical question: What would you do if your partner of 6 months decided to end the relationship to find Christ? How would you react? Would you encourage it, and remain close friends or would you oppose it, and cut all ties?

Answer 1

Hi Sandra,

If your partner left a relationship with you to find Christ, then that means he doesn't think he can find Christ while he is in a relationship with you.
Whether that's true or not doesn't matter. HE doesn't think he can.
I have a personal value that says that all humans have a spiritual connection to All-That-Is. I don't care what that manifests as: some call it Christ, some Buddha, some self-realisation.
In my mind, it is the INDIVIDUAL connection with spirit that is more sacred than any other connection we can make.
My reasoning for that is: I live with myself and my belief 24/7, and nobody else does.
In my observation, everyone else does, too.
So therefore: what would I do if ANYONE said to me that they wanted to leave a relationship with me for ANY spiritual reason?
1. I would know that relationships don't end but only change in content.
2. I would ALLOW - not encourage or discourage - simply allow my loved one to make his/her decisions as they see fit
3. I would search myself to see if I can have a friendship with this person without compromising my own values or sacrifycing valuable time of mine.
4. I would keep the door open as long as friendship is possible and I'm not being bombarded with judgmental criticism based on some religious hoopah.
5. I would definitely want to empower myself in my own beliefs and my own goals in life.

Cutting all ties only seems indicated if the partner's religious orientation cuts into your own values, beliefs and goals.

I think there is no need to cut all ties unless the continued relationship offers too many differences that cannot be resolved.

The final question really is yours: how secure do YOU feel in your own belief system? If your partner's belief systems threaten your own, then you may want to spend some time re-evaluating yours.
a) are they everything you really want to embrace? Then stand firm
b) do they need some revisions? then do the revisions. With yourself - don't feel pressured by someone else's thoughts/beliefs.
c) Is your partner going off the deep end with some religious fervour and you have NO USE for any of it? THen cut the ties.

This is my gut-reaction response to you without knowing any details of your situation.
Please do not take anything I've written here as 'what you should do' but rather as some input to consider.
For any other questions, contact me.

Answer 2

This has happened to people I know, and it's been kind of freaky and painful. It would really depend on what it means to "find Christ". Since you have posed this question in this forum, I'm assuming you're a lesbian or bisexual. I think you can't stand in the way of this person pursuing a different kind of relationship, that with Jesus Christ. You don't have the right, nor should you, try to control this person. If you love her, then you may be able to remain close friends. However, if her pursuit of Christ comes in the form of Christian Fundementalism, this woman may not be able to sustain a friendship with you...let alone you with her. Good luck.

Answer 3

Lord, you didn't just get left, huh? You got left for the Lord! That's pretty harsh, for a non-follower of Christ. Or just someone who doesn't have a personal relationship with God. The question isn't what you should do, it's what you DID. Was it NOT share your partner's beliefs, which were extremely important to him/her? Was it deciding that you wanted to come "first," not God? Why would someone who dedicated his/her life to love and loving others (God=Love, you know) leave someone he/she loved? After six months, you have to be fair. It's not like it was going anywhere if he/she left only after six months to follow God exclusively. Apparently, you lacked something only the Divine God could provide. Was it unconditional love and acceptance? Patience? The ability to remove sin? To ultimately get him/her into the best and coolest Club of all clubs that there ever will be? O course, I'm injecting a little humor--I hope you can appreciate that. It's not that you got left, your partner just moved on in the direction of his/her higher calling. It takes a great deal of courage and self-knowledge to do that--and a lot of love for the Lord. And you should start thinking, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Can you think of a more interesting and perfect menage a' trois?

Answer 4

well my husband did leave me to find himself...not necessarily christ.

It all depends on how co-dependant you are....if they left to better themmself (for whatever reason) encourage it, nourish it. Remain friends as best you could. There was something fundamentally wrong with that person and your relationship would have ended at a later time, more than likely messier had your lover not left when they did.

Sure sure it feels like the end of the world and makes you feel small....but there is a reaspn in it somewhere a lessen to learn you just have to find it.

It's best to try and remain friends...if you can, everything always works out better that way. But then...if you can't you can't and you shouldn't force it.

Answer 5

If it's what they though was right then I would support them but I don't think I could face someone who has hurt me that much. I would probably cut all ties, slump into a mild depression, find someone who would love me for who I am without religious dilemmas, slowly forget my pain, and live a happy life with this new person. Or else just stay single for the rest of my life.

Answer 6

I;m assuming you mean a gay relationship. I guess I can't really answer this without a certain amount of biased since I am Christian and I think it's wonderful that your partner wants to find Christ. But, trying not to look at it that way....if you love her, you should remain friends and support her in any of her choices. Of course you can tell her your opinion but try to make sure that you tell her that you are there for her and support her decision. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

That really depends on what type of a friendship we had to begin with.
I'm not sure that I would have been all that hurt since it was only a relationship of just six months. Not like it was ten years.

Now if my partner of ten years left me to "find Christ" I'd be furious, I'd get a lawyer and sue her *** for fraud and breaking a verbal contract.
Since we can't legally marry but we do have legal papers which document what type of relationship we had together, not to mention a now adult son which we raised who could testify as to what kind of relationship we had, I'd sue her *** for all it was worth!

But, since you gals have only been together for six months it's not as if you're as emotionally invested as say my partner and I. I'd let it go and forget about it, move on with my own life.

Answer 8

6 months is not that long of a realtionship. If you care about that persons happiness the u should be understandive, but you do not have to accept it. It is hard to come and find out that you are not someone's happiness. Give it time though, this person might change their mind.

Answer 9

If you care for him, recognize religion build better people. Let him go but stay close to him he will most likely build a foundation for the two of you in the future.

Answer 10

Honestly, if the person means a great deal to you, try and keep close ties. However, if they get all weird and overbearing, and try and push their "newly found" religion on you (esp. if it's something you're not into), cut your losses.