Am I just stupid?
I don't want to 'make him' divorce her. I would rather he do it because he doesn't want to be married to her anymore.
I've talked to him about it and he says that he should get working on it but then... nothing happens.
Again...am I just stupid?
2006-11-27 16:48:03 · 28 answers · asked by jjoct18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO. YOU ARE NOT STUPID BUT IF YOU CONTINUE THIS
KIND OF BEHAVIOR FROM THIS MAN THEN YOU WILL BE.
HE NEED TO GET HIS ACT TOGETHER. AND YOU SHOULD
LEAVE HIM ALONG UNTIL HE GET THE DIVORCE. HE PLAYING
BOTH SIDES AND THAT NOT GOOD.AND AS LONG AS YOU
PLAY THE GAME WITH HIM HE WIL CONTINUE THIS BULL
SHI**.TIME TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP.
2006-11-27 16:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by luckystar 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He's been with you for three years but he's stayed married to his "ex" wife. It does sound as if he doesn't want to marry you and is using his "marriage" as an excuse. He doesn't want to get divorced because he'd lose his solid gold reason not to marry you. Even so, I don't think it's ever a good idea to issue ultimatums in cases like this. Even if your boyfriend caves in, divorces her and marries you, which is unlikely, you'll always have the knowledge at the back of your mind that he only did it because you pushed him into it. Maybe you should simply start doing things separately from him, generally "send out signals" that you're pulling away from him emotionally. His behaviour is unfair on you but you can't force him to want to marry you. Maybe a shock of some sort will make him realise that you really are important to him. If you're not, then it's best to know now and end the relationship. At least that way you can start to get over it, move on, and hopefully meet someone who'll be prepared to put himself out for you. After all, how hard can it be to get divorced from a woman you haven't been with for the past three years? What possible reason can he have for remaining married to her? Divorce is relatively simple and not that expensive. If you're really not important enough to him for him to get on with it, then maybe you would be better off without him.
2006-11-28 10:33:23 · answer #2 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 06:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by veronica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-27 22:58:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u not stupid but ur acting like it if a man your dating is seperated but not filed for divorce in the first 6-8 mths i'd b gone i now u love etc but for the sake of ur on dignity pls. start filling up ur diary and acting like your going offf him a bit distance ur self and say u need time to think if he not trying to win u round or even offere toget divorced u need to fnd u sum1 completely single b4 u do all this though ask him if he has any intention of divorcing and when if he says soon let the mind games comence
2006-11-30 10:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by jaydyne f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN! and don't look back. A Married man can't be your boyfriend. He is his wife's husband.
If this man loved and respected you he would have made you a legitimate part of his life by now and not made you the "other woman" for 3 freaking years...goodness.
As far as "making him" divorce her, don't worry you can't make him, just as you cant make him respect you enough to be with only you!!!
2006-11-27 16:59:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lady B 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your stupid at all
are you sure he is really over his wife ?
Don't make him divorce her as if any-thing happens be-tween you and him it will always be throw back in your face ,but don't wait for ever for this man to be free life is to short (may be he doesn't want to be married to any one) have you thought of that hope all works out well and your not STUPID
2006-11-27 23:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by kentishlass 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not stupid, but you are choosing to believe what suits you best. Look at it this way. if he gets divorced then he is single again and then may feel that you will expect him to ask you to marry him. He obviously doesnt want to do this, so he stays married cos its safer for him!
2006-11-27 22:29:25 · answer #8 · answered by Caroline 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-28 21:10:25 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it that he is just too lazy to get round to it?
3 years is a long time for you to wait for him to file for a divorce and I can understand your point about wanting him to file for divorce off his own back.
I would talk to him and give him a deadline in which to apply for the divorce. I would also ask him why it has taken him so long and ask if he genuinely wants a divorce.
2006-11-27 20:51:55 · answer #10 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you may be wasting time with this man,he is still married and to me seperation means that he has the option to go back to his wife and work things out but if he is having the best of both worlds meaning both you and his wife then why would he go back to his wife,it would be best for you to walk away from him because as I said he is married but seperated not Divorced.
2006-11-27 16:52:31 · answer #11 · answered by CaliMa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋