ok, i have this friend, Ina, she's 19. she's pregnant, she's not yet married and she has been pregnant for 8 months now. the father of the baby, alvin, said that they should get married. now, ina is asking me (she said yes) when she can get married to him, but the problem is, alvin wants to get married before the child is born (he doesnt want the child to be a bastard). so i dont know what i would answer to her. when do you think it should be held if you were ina?
2006-11-27 16:29:39 · 8 answers · asked by ♥MAI♥ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If I were Ina I would wait until after I was married. The fact is the same: it took a baby for Alvin to propose. While that may not be the only reason he did it--from the outside that's how it seems. I would much rather my child know that he/she was conceived and born out of wedlock then to think the only reason my husband and I married was because of him/her.
It's just my opinion. If Ina wants to get married then it should be up to her and her fiance how and when to get married. If they cannot compromise on something like this now, I really fear for their marriage.
Best of Luck to you and Ina!
2006-11-27 16:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well technically (and i hate that word towards a child) the baby is already considered a "bastard," no matter if they get married b4 the baby is born or not because bastard means a child born out of wedlock. So them getting married now won't change the fact that the baby has already been conceived before marriage.
And to answer your question, your friend should get married when SHE is good and ready. Not because she got pregnant.It will only make it worse on the child later if they get married for the child's sake and then they get divorced later.
2006-11-27 17:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by mystique_dragon4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should be very careful. They are very young to get married. How are they as a couple? How long have they been together? If they are going to get married just because of the baby then it is probably not a good idea. If they are going to get married because they love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives then it is fine. I'm sure if they get married just for the baby, it will make the baby's life hard growing up. They will most likely be fighting and end up getting divorced, which will be hard for the child. If they are truly in love and want to get married then they should go for it, but if they are hesitating and are unsure they can always wait until they are ready. It's not as easy to undo marriage. You should support your friends decision no matter what she chooses though. Good luck!
2006-11-27 16:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by r_finewood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People shouldn't get married just because of a pregnancy-it will only cause legal and emotional problems for everyone involved later on. If they wanted to get married before anyway, there's nothing wrong with getting married even with the baby bulge-I married my husband 2 weeks before my child was born for the same reason. We had discussed marriage for a long time before I got pregnant, and just weren't worried about when it happened. As time went by and it got closer to to the baby's due date, my husband decided he wanted to have marriage license in hand before the birth. It all depends on how they felt about each other before the pregnancy came along.
2006-11-27 16:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She can get married whenever she wants to. It doesn't matter if she is pregnant or not. She shouldn't marry him just because she is pregnant though. But if she wanted to marry him before this then fine. If I were her and I was in a similar situation many years ago, I would and did get married and I don't regret it. But we were going to get married anyway.
2006-11-27 16:35:48 · answer #5 · answered by suzyQ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a small service before the baby is born and then maybe to celebrate an anniversary have the "big" wedding. :o)
2006-11-27 16:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get married in Vegas?!! or tie the knot in court!!!! Celebrate later?
2006-11-27 16:38:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUM,RUM,RUM,And More RUM.
2006-11-27 16:36:01 · answer #8 · answered by robert m 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋