Am I crazy for working/going to school/raising kids myself?

Question

I am currently in my 3rd semester of college, maintaining a 3.4 GPA while taking a full class load. I am also working full time. I also have 2 kids, ages 6 and 8. I have primary custody 70/30 and it all seems to be going alright, but everyone keeps telling me I need to lay off school and go part time. Problem is, I would like to graduate before my kids are teenagers. My degree will allow me to finally get a job that will allow me some financial freedom so that I don't have to struggle so hard to stay afloat right now. I am not on welfare. I do get child support. My kids are very happy. I am stressed out, but would be more so if I weren't doing anything to get myself out of my current status (Low skill, low paying job, tiny apartment, stuck). It took me 10 years to finally get here because my ex wouldn't let me go to college, so why would anyone think that I need to stop now? Am I insane? I am happy for myself, what is wrong with going back to school?

Answer 1

I have lived in your shoes. I worked to get myself through college as a single mom. We were broke for so long, it was hard. There were many times when quitting school seemed like a great idea and I was pushed to do it.

I stuck it out and today I have a masters degree. I have a good job and the ability to get an even better one. My children lived through the times when going to McDonalds was not in the budget. Today they enjoy Caribbean cruises and dine out all the time. We live in a rather nice home and have enough disposable income to supply the "extras".

I did get re-married, however I finished my degree first. I am so glad that my children have seen first hand the value of education.

Stick with it, focus on one semester at a time. You CAN do this!!

Answer 2

No, you are demonstrating what a real woman (or anyone) is about. It's awesome. My mother who stayed with my father worked 1 full time job, 1 part-time job, went through graduate school (until her phd) and raised 4 children with my dad's help. He worked full time and did most of the cooking.

This is the type of mother that deserves respect. You are setting a great example for your children. Women who laze around their homes all day being 'stay at home moms' or 'professional mothers' and 'house wives' do not show their children just what a smart, capable woman is all about. You're not crazy. I think what you are doing is great! You're a smart, capable and independant woman. There's nothing wrong with what you are doing. The people who call you nuts or tell you to lay off the work are probably just incapable or jealous.

Answer 3

I don't think your crazy. I am in my first semester of college. I'm married and have a 2 year old. Sometimes it feels like I have 2 kids instead of just one!! I still manage to work 40 hours during the week, study, go to class, 2 year old child to take care of and do odds and ends around the house. It's a little rough sometimes. But I think as long as you have help and support you will be able to make it through this. Enjoy your experience right now as much as you can.

Answer 4

I like you. 99% of people in your situation would just wine about how it is the ex's (or someone Else's) fault that things are screwed up and how due to circumstance they are powerless to fix it. You are acknowledging that you have control - that it is your choice - and that you understand the implications of the choice. Keep going - show your kids what it means to work. Sure it is nice to have time to take the kids to the park etc, but by your actions you are showing them that it is not good to be in your current circumstance and that education is the way out. They will see that and they will have better lives as a result of seeing it, of seeing you work and achieve, and as a direct result of the increased opportunities that you will be able to give them once it all pays off!

Answer 5

No, you are not crazy just running full ahead and doing the best you can. I did the about the same thing and it almost killed me. Once you finish school, your ex gets over a few issues, and you settle into a somewhat "normal routine," and job, you will find some peace/sanity again. Finish the school no matter what anyone says. It will be worth it. I know I'm glad I did. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with going back to school and you are doing the best that you can. You are not on walfare and making it. The reward will come at the end. Don't listen to those who try to get you to lay off. If you are happy at what you are doing and it is working don't stop!!! Keep up the good work! Like the Bible says we shall reap what we sow. You are teaching good values to your kids just by your example.

Answer 7

No if you go part time with school youll never pick up the steam to finish it. Stick with it and get it done. You sound like you have set a goal with a great reward at the end. Im amazed when i see single parents work, go to school, and raise children. I would be happy for you since your happy. Good luck and god bless.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with going back to school and trying to better your life for you and your children. Don't listen to others. If you feel you can handle the load, do it. It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and deserve a lot more credit than you are getting.

Answer 9

No, you're not insane. You just need a pat on the back and some words of encouragement to keep going. You are doing the right thing for you and yours, keep up the good work!!! Just wait until your kids see you cross the stage, it'll be worth every stressful moment.

Answer 10

It takes an abundance of determination, discipline, and hard work to fulfill your dreams and aspirations. You are NOT CRAZY for wanting a better life for your children. Along your path to self-fulfillment remember to take time for the little ones, and yourself. Most importantly, remember the "two little reasons" why you are in college. I commend you for following your pursuit to happiness...it will not be an easy road, but the rewards will be never-ending..."^5!"