Should i make him choose?

Question

I met one is the most wonderful men about a year ago he was here visiting for business, we bonded and became really close sadly after about seven months of happiness he had to go back home we still kept in touch and talked to each other every now and then and he even helped me out finacially when i needed a loan a while back ago, about a month ago i founded out that i would be having to moved to the city where he lives and i couldn't have been any more excited about it, when i called and told him he told me that he was in a relationship that he hated he said that the only reason him was still in this horrible relationship was because he didn't want to be alone and that he was sorry for not telling me earlier, after being hurt for a long time i forgave him because i can understand about not wanting to be alone in life, he still doen't talk about his girlfriend he told me that his girlfriend knew about me the whole time i would like to know how do i handel this after i move

he is picking me up from the airport and helping me find an apartment he even offered to let me stay at his place but i turned it down because he lives with his gf, i really like this guy a lot and i have thought many time about taking him away from his current relationship i just dont know how to do it, i believe him when he said that it is a horrible relationship because what kind of gf would just be ok with their partner being with someone else while they were away? should i tell him how i feel and what i want? or will that ruin the relationship that we currently have, and should i try and meet the gf? i dont want to but i think i should try and find out what it is i am up againist I am not married, and i assumed that the reason that we aren't together or the reason why he hasn't dumped her was because i didn't live in the same state and now that i am moving we would have an opportunity to recontinue our relationship where we left off

Answer 1

Wonderful man,sounds like a fairy tale like my mom used to tell.
The princess meet the prince charming and live happily ever after.How wonderful!Fairy tales happen anywhere but in the real world.Seems like prince charming met a witch before she met his princess.The prince is afraid to be alone and 'stuck' with the witch.Prince found her princess at last but because the witch curse him,so,prince couldn't leave the witch.The prince thought to break the curse and be with princess,however,he failed.He is sorry that he didn't tell the princess.The princess forgive him after his long and heart tearing story.
The witch know about the princess ACCORDING to the prince.
Princess have to choose to leave the prince or confront the witch.Huge dilemma!The witch was once a princess too,got deceived,turn into a witch because that only the way she have.But the princess have a chance to turn back,because the prince is just an ugly frog that will turn princess into witch.
How the endings?Happily ever after?This tale is your life fairy tales.You decide the ending.One can survive with a wound but not the person that cut it.Wound can heal but yet he will never stop wounding you.

Answer 2

You can't make people choose and you shouldn't even try. It probably hurts alot right now but people do exactly what they want to do. If the guy really likes you he will pursue you not the other way around. It's ok to forgive him for not telling you about his relationship but don't forget. He obviously has some maturing to do. If he was mature he would leave his girlfriend especially if he's not happy. You should show him how strong you are when you move there and have your own ride and find your own place. Don't be dependent upon him. Don't let him have control over you. Trust me a man that loves you and respects you is somewhere out there..don't block his path by filling your life with people you have to influence to pick you. Pick yourself first and others will follow. I wish you love and peace and many blessings.

Answer 3

well girlfriend it sounds like you have quit the realationship, your are in.
first i would like to tell you. i am in a relationship, i moved in w/ this man. i thought he would be the best thing that would have happend in mylife after my husband pass away.
i closed up my house, and left it sit.
now i wish i would have never decided to move in.
life can be so shity ,
so now i've picked my self up. and i'm going to go back home.
honey what i'm trying to say is, no, man is worth picking up your whole live for him or any other man. how could you even want anyhting to do w/ that knowing he is in bed w/ her just a little while before he got to you.
you need to STOP and think about what you really want to do.
he will never be faithful to you. he cheating now and your okaying it.
no you don't have the rite to give him the smack down and tell him what it's going to be, hell, he's got his cake and he gets to eat it to. no you aren't going to change him. don't fool yourself thinking you can after you have him to yourself. and that is not going to happen either. some men are sick and think they are god's gift to woman.
he is a lucky man, he gets 2 instead of just 1.
if his relationship was that bad with this other woman he would have been gone along time a go. he is lieing to you and playing you.
are you going to keep letting him do this not only to you, but this woman that has a life w/. this sounds like it could be a fatal attraction.
(BECAREFUL).

Answer 4

First of all, how do you know this woman knows about you? Because this guy told you? And how long did it take him to tell you about this woman he is living with? Hello, can't you see what is going on here? He has already deceived you, and now you want to steal him away from this other woman? What if he is married to her? What if he forgot to tell you they have a child?

This is reality, Hun. If he cheated on the woman he is already living with, he will cheat on you. I don't care how special you are, it doesn't matter. Treat yourself with a little more respect than being "left overs" or a "side dish."

Sorry to be so blunt, but you are emotionally attached, to someone who is incapable of returning your emotions.

Answer 5

my advice to you is to be very careful. sometimes things aren't what they seem. you don't know this guys girlfriend or what kind of person she is. she may be a wonderful person who's getting done wrong by her boyfriend. and I'm almost sure that she doesn't know the whole story about you. honestly, for all you know this guy could be playing you both. or he may be planning to leave her for you, and then do the same thing to you that he's been doing to her with you. see what I mean? and you can't make this guy choose, he's going to do what he wants to do regardless. I'm still hung up on the honesty issue. he was dishonest with you about having a girlfriend. he wouldn't have told you if you weren't moving to his town. and I'm guessing that he hasn't been so honest about his happiness with his girlfriend.
I bet he's a lot happier with her than you've been led to think. just think about what he's doing to his girlfriend now. he'll do the same thing to you. that is, if he chooses to leave her for you. who knows, he may pick you and then cheat on you with her! either way, I don't think he's nearly the wonderful, trustable guy that he's got you believing he is. just be very, very careful.

Answer 6

You are starting your life over. New city, new job, new house, new friends. Why start over with a new man too. It's not as though you have a lot of history or something and he is involved. Since your starting over, take the newness into every area of your life. Good luck to you!!

Answer 7

Are you sure he tod her the truth about you? and not that your just his friend or something. No girl would tolerate all that and him offering to let you stay with them. I think there is more than there than what meets the eye and I would definately find out what it is before I moved or got farther involved. Good Luck

Answer 8

NO stay away from this guy. how old are you? im not saying that to be mean im just wondering because ALL guys who cheat have that SAME story about how miserable they are in their current relationship usually they only stay"because of the kids" but its ALWAYS that story so no he isnt gonna leave her for you and even if he did i GUARANTEE he;ll be back and forth between you whenever times are rough

Answer 9

Are you 100% sure he isn't married? His story sounds just like a married man, so before you get too involved with him, you might want to make sure he isn't keeping something more from you.

Answer 10

i think u should better tell him what r ur feelings for him....but try to meet his gf too cuz probably he is married but he really didnt tell u anything...try to see how things r going between u two and then make a move....good luck =)