they never work for themselves they just always asked help whenever they need one.
2006-11-27 16:19:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's helping a family member in need and there's mooching relatives.
If they are moochers, tell them that you don't have any extra to offer them at this time.
2006-11-27 16:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss the matter with your husband and help him at establishing boundries and limits with these relatives and learn to start saying "No", because just giving them a hand-out is not giving them a hand-up, and if really cares out them, he should want to encourage them to be self-sufficient.
In the beginning, I can guarantee you they will all be mad about it, but most either get over it and start doing for themselves and finding out, "Wow, I really can do things on my own!" and be proud of themselves or they will find another person to mooch off of. If they never get over it, then they were only using him anyway and his is better off having them out of his life.
2006-11-27 16:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Need?
You were not put on this earth to live up to their expectations. You have a family to support and they can work like everyone else. If they are too lazy to do that then they are not hungry enough.
Stop feeding them ...it's a bottomless pit when your relatives are piranhas.
2006-11-27 16:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband do help with his bro/sis university fees.Sometimes he send money for my in-laws too.I don't feel disturb about all this,cos it shows that he's a responsible man,but if it's money to feed them without them trying to work for their own money and life,i will totally disagree.We have our own family to support and maintain,unless he's so rich.
2006-11-27 16:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by ike mie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have alot of good advice hear, the majority seems to think you and your husband need to set boundaries with the inlaws and tell them no, I agree totally, and can empathize the situation because my ex couldn't ever say no to her family and half of them are still living with her today. LOL!
2006-11-27 16:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that if they would like you to help them find a job you'd be more than happy to but; you have to mean it. You have to draw the line to how much help (money) you are willing to give to people who don't help themselves.
2006-11-27 16:21:52 · answer #6 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thometimeth you can help by not helping. You give a man a fith, you've fed him for a day. You teach a man to fith, you've fed him for a lifetime.
2006-11-27 16:22:29 · answer #7 · answered by The Anthwer Man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's ok to say no. you're #1 priority is your immediate family. if you keep assisting them then they'll never do it themselves. your helping them can actually be hindering them. just say no, and don't feel guilty about it.
2006-11-27 16:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband either has to get a backbone or move far away from his family. (Don't get a place with extra bedrooms!!!!)
2006-11-27 16:33:27 · answer #9 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm the word "NO" comes to mind.
2006-11-27 17:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋