When is the right time to call child protective services?

Question

My sister has two kids, one approx 6 months and the other 11 yrs old, by two different men. While I love my sister, her choices both in men and in life have been anything but healthy. I love her kids like they are my own, and I want whats best for them and while she is trying to be a good mom, she always lets the a**hole father back into her life and the cycle starts all over again and I know its none of my business but I dont know what else to do to keep her kids away from them. If childs protective services gets involved, does she lose her kids completely, or can a relative take them in? Id be more than happy too, but Im afraid she wont let me or my parents, just out of spite.

Answer 1

CPS tries to get the mother to get her chit together but if they (CPS) decide that the children would be better off out of the home they go to relatives first.

Answer 2

Now would be a good time to call honey. And yes, you would be allowed to take them in. As a social worker, we would rather place the children with a family member so that the family unit stays together. Your sister also won't have a say in this as long as their are no allegations of abuse and you don't have a criminal record of any sort. It'll be hard, heartbreaking, but for the sake of the children, call honey...first thing in the morning. Those children need someone in their life who is putting their best interests first.

I'm going through the same thing right now. It's harder than you can imagine. The guilt gets overwhelming at times, but I just have to keep in mind that you are doing the right thing. And be glad, they are older. I'm taking in a 2 mo old and a 2 yr old and I have five of my own. One in college and four boys 15, 12, 8 & 5....life's busy and hectic, but everyone is loved and well cared for. That brings a peace in your heart that is worth any thoughts of betraying your sister.

Please take my advice and don't wait any longer...the situation isn't going to get any better, especially if she's repeating the same behavior over and over.

Answer 3

If your sister's children lack any of the basic neccesities, they are hit or physically abused, or the state deems the family setting unsuitable for the growth of a child, they can be taken away from their parents and put into the care of another family. I'm fairly certain that you would be able to voice your concerns as well as offer to take in the children (but there is no garuantee that you will get them). This is definitely a tough situation, but depending on circumstances, sometimes child support is the right thing.

*Although, taking any child from their mother is not necessarily a good thing. You may want to talk to your sister about changing her lifestyle with men (possibly counseling or maybe just find her a good guy) before trying to move the children out of the home.

Answer 4

If abuse, neglect or mistreatment is suspected you have the responsibility to get child protective services to do an investigation. She will probably find out that it was you who did this so I wouldn't bank on being the person to take the kids in in that case. If it's just some bad people who are doing things like sleeping with her and living with her but you don't have any proof or haven't seen any abuse or neglect going on then it's none of your business how she lives her life. Her choices will affect her kids but as long as they are not being abused, neglected or otherwise taken advantage of by these men - you really don't have a leg to stand on. The rules vary from state to state but my understanding from foster parent training is - usually the goal of child protective services is to help the parent keep custody in the first place. The state doesn't want responsibility for more kids unless it's serious and the situation cannot be remedied any other way. When the kids are removed temporarily or long term they become like wards of the state - they don't just give them to any willing volunteer. They give them to people who have foster parent training who want to see the children go back to their parents if possible and are willing to work in a positive way through that relationship. It usually requires an outside party to be very non-biased as much as possible. Foster parent training involves knowing how to care for children as wards of the state not as you do your own kids. If there is no clear evidence of abuse, neglect or mistreatment then your only recourse is to try to have the kids over, take them to church on Sunday and do something to bring a sense of security and normalcy to their lives that maybe mom has trouble making happen. But, you need to do this in a respectful way even if you don't appreciate her lifestyle.

Answer 5

I would definitely call the police and child protective services. If might be to late for her to have a better childhood but you can help her have a better teenage life. If that was your child you would not want her to do that stuff. I think mothers like that should be made to have their tubes tied so that they can't corrupt other children. I would hurry and call before it gets worse.

Answer 6

If you can prove the father is abusing the children you must make the call. Otherwise, if he is just a jerk, you have to let your sister live her own life or you risk destroying your relationship even if your intentions are good. No one likes having people criticize their life choices, and your sister will feel very threatened if she senses you are trying to take her children away from her. If the kids are not physically at risk, you may do more harm than good by interfering

Answer 7

If the kids are in danger, CALL THEM. If you just don't approve of her choices there isn't much you can legally do as long as the choices aren't illegal and don't endanger the kids. You might see if she would be willing to sign over guardianship.

Child protective services will usually try to keep the kids together and with family IF they determine that counseling won't fix the parents' problems. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they'll go to you or your parents, it's going to be up to the case worker and judge to decide.

Answer 8

If you call CPS, the first thing they will do is begin an investigation. If they feel that the children are in danger, then they will be removed from the home and USUALLY placed with kin. They legally can not tell your sister who it is that called the complaint in, so if you do it, act shocked and appalled and tell her that if the kids need a place to stay, that your home is open as long as she needs it. Make it sound like her idea and that you want to help HER. Good Luck!

Answer 9

your sister hasnt done anything wrong by the sounds of it so what she has boy friends she is not married is she so shes soal searching,if you have aproblem with that go read a book,the children are safe child protection services WILL ONLY take a child away from its mother is she is prostituting and leaving them unattended or she is using drugs in front of them at her home and even then before they takle children off her there would be social workers involved so you have no chance to try to take your sisters kids go have your own kids

Answer 10

Yes the kids can be placed with the next of kin But I am sure there are some stipulations. Dont' wait til you have to be attending a funeral. Maybe your sister will just let you have them while she goes to get help for herself. Having them would be hard for you, but it would be a very enriching experience. I would do it for my own sister.

Answer 11

Are the children in danger or being neglected? if not they why are you wanting to call child services? if they take your sister's kids she is going to have holy hell trying to get themback Just because she makes mistakes and is not as smart in life as you must be to be so judgemental, is no reason to take her kids. Help them if they need it and if you are able and do it with love. If you can't then butt out and leave them alone.