He totally destroyed emotionally, financially and in my career, and I pray at times, that he is as unhappy as I have been. I have been in therapy and have dated others, but I can not let my wall down to let anyone in, for fear of going through what I did....again. I want to be in love and I want to FORGET about him, but I CAN'T. Please help!
2006-11-27 15:34:59 · 5 answers · asked by ligal31 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its never easy once you have your walls up so high no one finds them worth climbing to get in anymore. Fear is only one part of it for myself there are many reasons for locking yourself away from others. Give yourself time and learn as much as you can about yourself while spending this time alone. The better you know yourself the less likely you are to be mistreated again if and when the times comes that you are ready to.
-NmD!
2006-11-27 15:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only be destroyed if you give up all your will to another person.
Since you have been through a bad relationship then you need to make notes of the bad things he did in the beginning ...that way you know what to look out for when you are seeking a guy to date.... keep moving forward.... take back control by not allowing the past to make you think no man is going to be good to you.... keep dating regardless - keep moving forward... if you continue to allow the ex to control your future movements then you should just go back to him ...since you keep thinking about all that he did to you ...you aren't free(even though he's no longer with you) because you are allowing his ghost to haunt your future.... what you are praying is wrong also - because you are keeping yourself linked to him(I hope he's as unhappy as I am) - Pray for strength to face another day and courage to find a good man.... tell yourself I will not be bound to my past or by my past - this is a new day and I will rejoice and be glad in it! (say this everytime thoughts of him come up and repeat this anytime you pass in front of a mirrow). You need to learn to guard your heart... have others pray for you. When you see a man that interest you - start praying for discernment and work on getting to know him .... take your time there's no rush.... (things to look for in a good man) - 1)His goals and aspirations align with your goals for the future?
2) You feel comfort in the presence of the individual rather than negative anxiety.
3) The majority of your time together is not spent in conflict .
4) He does not pressure you to do things that go against your moral judgement.
5) You’re able to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner without the other mate shutting down.
2006-11-27 15:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to learn what it is you can't let go of, learn from it and then let it go. You are hanging on cause you didn't learn what you were supposed to. You raised the walls cause you didn't learn and therefore are afraid of the same hurt. Learn yourself and what makes you tick. Love yourself enough to not let it happen again. I learned that one the hard way. It took several times before I learned what I needed to know. It's not the same for everyone, so you have to do it yourself. When you have learned then you will be able to let go and love again. Good luck and God bless.
2006-11-27 16:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing we do is deal with the wall and then i show you what love is suppose to feel like
2006-11-27 15:40:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometime you gotta do what you dont wanna do.
2006-11-27 15:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋