my husband and i are trying to concieve, my best friend, thinks shes pregnant, but she doesn't want a baby yet, i feel really happy for her, but at the same time, i feel depressed about it, has anyone had the same experience ? i'm just tired of people saying god will give you kids when your ready, i know thats true, but if she is, then why is god giving her a child when she isn't ready, and not to the people that are?
2006-11-27 15:21:42 · 8 answers · asked by darkfairiy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Oh, yes, absolutely.
We've been trying for a few months now. Suddenly the 15-year-old neighbor is pregnant, as is my sister-in-law who hates kids. WHY? It just doesn't seem fair at all.
When I think about it all, I start to reconsider and think maybe we should wait. I really don't want my kid to be born right after these other two. I'm not sure why that matters, but it does. It was ME who was ready to get pregnant. It's just too frustrating.
The only thing I've found that helps is joining a message board or group for women trying to conceive. From discussing things with other people, I've realized that it's actually REALLY common for relatives and friends to get pregnant when you start trying. It happens to lots of women, for whatever reason.
Of course we get depressed about it, but again, the message boards and groups can help. It's good to realize you're not alone.
2006-11-27 16:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweety I feel ur pain! I can remember leaving the hospital after losing my first baby and on the elevator ride down to the car I was in the elevator with a girl who went in the same time as I did. I was also in the elevator with the couple who was adopting her baby! So I was ready to tear the elevator in half! It was a terrible feeling. I later realized that everything truly does happen for a reason. I am not going to get all "godly" on u , persay. I just want u to know that good things come to those who wait. Who knows maybe u will become pregnant soon and ur babies can grow up together and become best friends! I know it is hard and although I am young I have experienced this feeling. I had a baby shower the same day one of my good friends was getting an abortion! Go figure! And in the end I lost my baby. But I am not giving up! If u are anything like the words u have expressed above then u will be a great mom. God see's our struggles and he will reward us for them. Be patient sweety. I will have u in my prayers. Best of luck and just remember good things come to those who wait! :o)
2006-11-28 01:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by lashae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a woman and have never been pregnant, however, I did work for many years as a R.N. on psych. units. It is very normal to feel sad and even envious when you want a child very badly, haven't gotten pregnant yet, and see other women getting pregnant.
Regarding God giving you a baby. If you and your husband are doing all of the things that will enhance the possibility of you getting pregnant, then yes, it is up to God whether you get pregnant again. It is normal to feel and to ask, "Why not me?", however our emotions are not the determinent of what is best for us or everyone else concerned.
Regarding your friend who isn't ready but got pregnant anyway.You must remember that God created the universe to run by certain laws and principals. Yes, He can intervene and change the laws of physics and biology but we have our responsibilities.
If your friend wasn't ready to have a baby, then she should either have been using 99% effective birth control (B/C pills in addition to a condom) or she should not have been having sex! God did not give her a baby, she did what naturally produces a baby.
Be assured that God loves you and wants the best for you. I am 63 y/o, divorced, and have no children. I am physically disabled and in constant pain that is at times severe, but I know that God is in control and that He loves me and works in my life for what is the BEST for me.
It is hard to understand all of God's decisions because He is so smart compared to us. God's intelligence is at least a trillion times greater than the smartest human's. Actually, God's intelligence is infinate, I just used the word "trillion" to give some perspective.
I believe that is one of the things that Jesus was referring to when He said that we must become like little children in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. That when we don't understand, we must trust our Father, who loves us, and takes care of us.
God bless you and congratulations ahead of time for when you get pregnant.
2006-11-28 01:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner and i have been trying for a baby for a 1 1/2 years and have fallen pregnant 3 times only to miscarry...It seems everyone around me is falling pregnant an it hurts. My cousin has fallen pregnant twice in this time (YUP her kids are going to be 9 1/2 months apart...Crazy!!!) And complains about her kids and leaves them with her mum every chance she gets. Not to mention i have my mother in law nagging me to get pregnant and my mum nagging me to wait! I cant win!
It doesnt seem fair but the doctor tells me its just a little bit of bad luck. In a way i guess he's right and when i do have children i think i'll appreciate them even more.
Anyway stick with it and I hope you have a happy healthy baby soon :)
2006-11-28 00:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by Vanilla_Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you it took us a year to fall pregnant. When we first started trying my sister in-law who was in and out of a relationship fall pregnant and was thinking of abortion. I was so upset that we were in a happy stable relationship and we were having trouble and here she was pregnant and didn't even want it. I to Was so sick of people saying it will happen when its meant to, Know that My son has been born i can see that if i would have fell pregnant it would have been a struggle and we would have missed certain oppertunitys so all worked out for the best if you are worried about things have a talk to your doctor but i think your reaction is natural, GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-27 23:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by Kylie n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are putting so much worry and emphasis into it you could be blocking the natural thing from happening. You're energy is that of strain. What child wants to come into a world filled with tension and expectation? I'm not suggesting you're going to be lousy parents, but what you don't understand is that it is so true about timing. It will happen when it's most on purpose. Your minds do not dictate when a baby will come, it's purpose. Stop comparing with your friend. It happened for her because it was simply time. Instead go on living your days by the sheer wonder that it will happen and when that time comes. It was SO exciting when I relaxed finally, and then it happened.
2006-11-27 23:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by sweeta : 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im in the same possition and i want a baby with my husband so bad we both do. i have 3 kids already that were not planned (not with my husband, b4 we got together) and i was not ready for any of them, i wouldnt change it now but at the time i didnt want children really. and now that i do more then anything with this man and i cant! its driving me crazy, we both have great jobs and love the kids we have (mine) so why dose god not give us one i do not know but i have many was of trying and im sure it will happen for us and i know it will happen for you 2 hang in there
2006-11-27 23:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes I have been there. Although it was after my first misscarriage. That is what hurt the most. Everyone was getting pregnant. You will pull though this tough time. I know it is hard. BELIVE ME. I know.
2006-11-27 23:25:51 · answer #8 · answered by plharg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋