I love my hubby so much but he has one big problem.... He always wait for the last minute to do things.... and many times we have cable, lights and rent not paid... then he is running around trying to get it back on... I want to do the bills he wont let me... but it aint only bills it is everything from going to appointments to just getting things done.... Anyone have an idea on how i can stop him from this very bad habit? And Divorce is not an option!
2006-11-27 15:10:04 · 12 answers · asked by Lori M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes when people are like this, they seem to need to run on the adrenaline that is caused by the pressure that is created by doing things late, or even too late. He will probably need to get counseling for this. It may be caused by some underlying reasons. YOU can't make him stop. He can only do that himself. You CAN be supportive and encourage him - to get help, or to offer much positive reinforcement when/if he DOES take care of a responsibility in a timely manner. Good luck.
2006-11-27 16:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well one thing is for certain. Love isn't going to pay the bills. Second you two need to sit down and have a very serious talk. My husband and myself had this problem ourselves, shortly after we were married. If he can not shape up, you have to take over. It will ruin your life if you don't. Think of your credit, all those bills paid late, doesn't look to hot. Third never, and I mean never say divorce is not an option. It shouldn't be the first option. But if someone is so controling he can't let his partner help him with, he has control isues. That could lead to him controling other parts of your life too. That leads to verbal abuse, then from then physical. Never cut your way out.
2006-11-27 15:18:04 · answer #2 · answered by countrygirl4_15 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Buy him a diary - make sure he looks at it every day.
2) Make big monthluy calendar and stick it somewhere very obvious so he has no choice but to look at it everyday (back of bathroom/toilet door) - change colours and decorate to keep focus.
3) You and your husband should visit simplesavings.com.au and they will help you to teach your husband to set up so that all bills, rent and everything is paid on time/in advance so that you will never have to worry about these mundane little things.
Help him without letting him realise that you are helping :-) Show him things and then let him think that it was his idea or that you thought some things might help and let him do it. No friction encountered - and hopefully things will look up sooner rather than later.
Goodluck in the future and Good on You for sticking by your man
2006-11-27 15:25:41 · answer #3 · answered by smile_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever considered a possibility that it is not a bad habit but a type of personality? That no amount of wishing, nagging, explaining, counseling can change a personality type? Think about it! If this is the case, and separation is not an option, you'd need to start thinking about how you can learn to live with it.
2006-11-27 15:34:19 · answer #4 · answered by silver_moon_73 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree divorce is not an option. Try a romantic dinner, then let him know exactly how you feel. Come to a compromise. Maybe you can be resposible for the most important ones or change payment dated to avoid this kind of problem
2006-11-27 15:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I very strongly recommend some counseling ... this habit (and others related) may be so ingrained .. and he needs to get at the bottom of why he developed them before he iwll likely willingly make any changes. He may not know, but a good counselor can help him figure it out, and work with him (and you) to make some healthy changes.
2006-11-27 15:16:45 · answer #6 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lists, lists, lists. List-making is a great way to help with procrastination. Maybe you could help by offering some kind of reward (wink wink) when a daily list is completed. Good luck.
2006-11-27 15:13:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try doing the finances your self for a change and see if this helps the situation at all.... Talk to him and let him know how you feel.... See if he is willing to learn how to live on a budget and how to plan on things..... Seek conseling for this....
2006-11-27 15:20:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why won't he let you help? is he that much of a control freak? have you explained to him that if he set a schedule and followed through, then he'd have extra time, because he wouldn't be running around later to catch up? also if he'd let you do it, then he would have completely one less thing to worry about entirely.
2006-11-27 15:13:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
manipulate him with sex, try wearing a garterbelt and sexy vintage RHT stockings with heels on then ask him for the check book
2006-11-27 17:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋