Hello Im yet again in another dilema and once again seek your counsel.I have this cousin whom I love very much we hang out and get along GREAT! He's my best bud and has been ever since saturady morning cartoons. he's fun to be around great sense of humor.The problem is.....i think he's G- A- Y!??????Honestly I dont approve! but I love him anyway! even if he was. I just dont know how to go about asking him, and am afraid of risking hurting his feelings if he's not!Ya see I never really noticed it or thought about it till now.The many girls he had as friends growing up but no "girlfriends"! When I would say YEAH DUDE lets go play some football!!!! " he'd say "naw I wanna jump rope or hopscotch"????I mean it kinda kills me but I would still hang out with him, but I feel ashamed cause when we go somewhere he has this effeminate walk and actions to.Im mad at myself because I feel a little emabaressed to be seen with him sometimes. How do I ask him without hurting his feelings if hes not.??
2006-11-27 14:36:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, it's kind of a balance. On the one hand if he has something to tell you, you want to let him do it in his own time. But on the other hand you need him to know it's cool to tell you.
Hopefully you've never made any negative comments about gays that would make him afraid to talk to you. You could tell him that you have a "friend" you think doesn't like girls, and you're wondering if you should talk to him about it, because even though you're honestly a little weirded out you want the guy to know that he's your bud and you'll find a way to be cool with it.
2006-11-27 14:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by EQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"think he's G- A- Y!??????Honestly I dont approve! but I love him anyway!" That was a great line. Really, don't think of it as an approve or disaprove matter. You love him either way, you just said that. So what does it matter to you whether he is gay or not?
But if you have this need to know, I suggest straight asking him. Say beforehand you are just curious and you don't want him to take it offensivley. I asked my best guy friend the same thing, my reasons were different but he wasn't offended because he knew I wasn't trying to be mean and I was seriously curious.
2006-11-27 22:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by devmetz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you not approve? Obviously this someone that you have known for a long time and know that this is not a choice. He is not out trying to get guys he is just not showing interest in girls, showing right there he has more than likely been this way his whole life. You have to except him for who he is and it shouldn't matter what he is. You just need to be ther to support him when he does come out. You have to put yourself in his shoes and think of the predicament he may be in, the denial he may be in. You know how you don't approve, well think of all the important people in his life that might also not approve because they believe it is only a choice. This could be a reason he has not pursued or openly said that he is. He is only human
2006-11-27 22:43:38 · answer #3 · answered by garrett w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a jerk, if you love him then his sexuality shouldn't matter. If your willing to lose him as a best bud then be the jerk your being. That's the problem with people these days, no respect or consideration for the feelings people have. Do you think he wants to be this way? Do you think he woke up one morning and said "oh please, make my life more difficult by having ignorant people point and talk about me, I need to be different and want the world to look at me like I'm discusting." Grow up, honestly what a JERK.
2006-11-27 22:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by Soap Star Junkie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is no right way in asking someone if they are gay.. honestly i have a gay uncle and he's the best ever... preferably gay people are the coolest ever... and ur cousin is gay just appreciate them and support them because there will be people who will put him down and badmouth himm. and sure you don't want to contribute to that...
2006-11-27 22:51:56 · answer #5 · answered by prettyface203 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask yourself some serious questions . Like is he really my friend or not .
2006-11-27 22:39:40 · answer #6 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could ask him indirectly. like, "hey, what do you think about gay ppl?" or something like " in your opinion, is it okay to be gay?" DO NOT DIRECTLY ASK HIM. it wld, in one way or another, hurt his feelings. you could also notice his actions or you know, somehow test him. good luck!
2006-11-27 22:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by mapgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't ask him. If he wants to tell you, he will.
2006-11-27 22:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by lucy02 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋