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I am very interested in Dom/sub lifestyle but I have come across a huge problem anytime I try to initiate this in a relationship.

The type of submission I am interested in is that of a Gorean pleasure slave (When I say "pleasure" I do not mean sex. A pleasure slave provides pleasure to her Master be it through cooking, cleaning, sex, or just plain being by his side. Only a sex slave is enslaved purely for sexual gratification.) In Gorean lifestyle, a Master is firm and strict, but is never to be cruel and demanding. What this means is that when a Master and his slave have the proper relationship, his commands and her reactions to them come as easily as a man asking a favor of his friend, the only difference being that she is disciplined if she doesn't submit.

2006-11-27 14:34:14 · 2 answers · asked by Shel K 3 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

My problem in the past has been one of three reactions.

The first is this: he thinks it is wrong for anyone to ever assume "ownership" or power over another's life and completely refuses.

Second: He accepts but is far too leniant towards me and for the most part unaccepting of all his duties as Master.

Third: He is far too rough and uses the oppurtunity to a power hungry, often sexual advantage.

So far, I have gotten lucky and with the latter two, they have been in trial periods.

How can I introduce this to some one and help them to understand and treat me the way I would like to be treated?

2006-11-27 14:37:32 · update #1

Ok, just to get this across.

In reality, the submissive or "slave" is not ENSLAVED. They willing offer it to their proposed Master/Dominant. I am giving up my freedom willingly, therefore, I am not being abused or mistreated if he accepts.

Please, do not answer this question if you don't have any kind of possitive HELP. I am not here to be told if my actions are appropriate in mainstream society. I am here to get help in making my proposed Dom appreciate me.

2006-11-27 14:47:01 · update #2

2 answers

greetings krys....

A few more comments since you have a second copy of this question. These comments are based on your addendums.

Your first type is the mundane sort of man who is so socialized away from being a Master that he will probably never be one and will fight against what you want to do. The best thing you can do with them is to move on as soon as you can.

The second type are the ones who are doing it either to please you, not because they have the real ability to master you or because they are used to dealing with subs and not slaves and don't know how to command and control a slave versus the ones they have to cajole into doing what they want outside of a scene. Some of these men can learn the difference. First they have to learn to be men.

The third group is often similar to the first group except that they overcompensate to the opposite extreme or they are BDSM sadists who find would be kajira easy prey and then unleash their real desires after they think they have someone who will do anything for them. You usually will not spot these until they relax their guard or think they have you where you can not get away. Or...they just get impatient or angry.

As for your last point, a girl is submissive until she is actually enslaved and that enslavement is mental and emotional more than physical. A Gorean Master will usually not intentionally mistreat or abuse his slave. He may be hard or soft with her as he chooses or may punish her if he feels a need to do so but they are not into inflicting pain on others. No...your actions and desires are not appropriate to mainstream society and we both know that. They are appropriate for what you wish to be.

How can you get a Dom to appreciate you? Be the sub or slave he wishes you to be. However, Doms are not Gorean. They are BDSMers who are usually more into it for the sexual gratification and often infliction of pain on others. I have summed it up this way. A bottom is interested in what the top can do to her. A sub is interested in what the Dom can do with her. The Gorean slave is interested in what she can do for her Master.

I would not try to force someone into something they do not wish to be or can not be. You will only be disappointed. If you find someone close to what you are looking for, you might be able to give them a push in the direction you wish but there is no way to be certain if they will go there or not.

be well....

Malkinius

2006-11-29 20:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by Malkinius 1 · 2 0

No one should be a slave to any one under any circumstance ! ! ! ! !

2006-11-27 22:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by Neetaa 2 · 0 2

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