My husband and I just had a baby 4 months ago, and it seems like no matter what I do or put on, he is not interested. I don't know if its the weight gain or the stretch marks. I already have a low self esteam about it. Then i ask him and he says i look beautiful but his actions show something else. I have tried talking to him about it but it only gets us in a fight and makes us futher apart. What should i do?
2006-11-27 14:29:47 · 10 answers · asked by bobby jo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He may primarily see you as the mother of his child right now and is having a hard time with it. Are you breastfeeding? He may see that part of your body strictly for the baby. Try to find a relative or a friend to take the baby for a few hours a week and make that strictly HIS time. I had two and know from experience that we as women tend to put the man on the back burner without realizing it. Bear in mind that every sensual part of your body right now relates to the baby from the top to the bottom. Don't pressure him. Oh and also from experience....don't try to seduce him in a t-shirt or a flimsy nighty...one in skungy and the other applies pressure. Just do things TOGETHER. Yes the baby is incredibly important but he is feeling a LOUSY second right now. Alot of men have problems being intimate with their childs mother....you did not say but I am guessing the baby is a boy.
2006-11-27 14:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by ஐAldaஐ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well. my guy friend just had a baby. and he said that it might be that you two are on different levels of Intimacy. So in other words. When he wants to, you don't, and when you want to, he doesn't. But my guy friend said that he'd never heard of that before, because after his girl had his baby, he wanted to be more intimate with her. but every guy is different. Just talk to him. and if he doesn't do well with talking. Write him a note. and if it doesn't stop. well then you need to pound it into his head that it is hurting you. not only that, But if you feel bad about yourself, that can give off bad vibes to him and it's not attractive. So. It doesn't matter what you wear or what you do, if you don't see yourself as attractive, it shows and can make him feel uncomfortable. I hope everything works out. and ya know. if things don't change. go move in with your mom for a bit and show him what it would be like without you.
God Bless. Good Luck and Happy Holidays!
2006-11-27 14:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know, but If this is Ur first baby it will take time because he may think that it will get in the way of the baby. mines did.
try talking giving time it will come and when it do he will be a mad man, so just keep doing what u doing stay sexy and alwayss were sexy stuff and alway stay in front of him reach over him bend in front of him flirt a little and he will turn u over where u stand. I mean u have to understand just think of how men think when a baby come out of u. My husband used to tell me that how can I please u and a 10lb baby come from there. LOL
2006-11-27 14:38:16 · answer #3 · answered by msgris2000 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did he look while the baby was born. Did he see his beloved childs head come out of his 'dirty' place.
That might ahve something to do with it.
My friends husband would not do anything with her because he could not deal with ehr giving birth to his son. Like she went from Women (grrr) to mother of his child.
I think it has nothing to do with your body, but with the way he sees you as the mother not the sex partner.
But instead of my speculating. Ask him why he will not have sex, maybe he is afraid to hurt you or something?
But once you know you can do something about it.
2006-11-27 14:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sibbyym 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If talking does not work, take action sweetie. I know you have done some things, but take the next step. TAKE IT...! I am laughing but completely serious. Just initiate it and get him aroused. Then get on and forget what he says unless of course he gets really angry. If that happens I would sit there and demand to know what in the hell is going on, most of the time they will tell you what you want to know when they are feeling your insides...LOL Make him understand that this hurts you and don't take the passive way out, be a little aggressive.
Keep trying...
Congratulations on your baby, boy or girl?
Go ahead...give me thumbs down but don't discount what I said...it works.
mandy
2006-11-27 14:39:17 · answer #5 · answered by cking_pOise... 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Read the Bible together and pray together...If you need more help e-mail me ldkcook2003@yahoo.com
Your husband Promised to love you for better or worse..And I can tell you this I had a baby in Feb. and I am no where near the wieght I was, and I also have stretch marks. If your husband trully loves you he wouldn't care. God is the one you need to be turning to.
2006-11-27 14:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by ldkcook2003 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Less talking... More Action
Put the baby down for a long nap and get aggressive. Make him remember and crave what he had before. Remember, when the lights go off, it's the you-know-what that counts, not the exterior :)
2006-11-27 14:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by Wocka wocka 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's common after a baby for sex to slow down. Just give it time, don't pressure him, it'll happen naturally.
2006-11-27 14:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by Kauser M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sex toys..oh ya babiii trust me, he will want to be all freaky deaky wit cha... i bet if he dont then he has turned gay or is cheating... let me know if i am right
2006-11-27 14:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
once it's gone its gone and actions speak louder then words/
2006-11-27 14:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋