My wife left me for another man after 6 years of Marriage. (Together for 8 since High School). She started seeing him in May when she decided we were separated and still living together. I moved out in July. She has since "broke-up" with him and wants our family back together. We have 2 kids that are 4 and 7. We both love each other very much but she is afraid of being in a relationship with me because she still has feelings for this other man. She doesn't feel like she's going to be faithful and that she'll "push me away" even though she wont go back to him. To make things worse she works with him and sees him everyday. We've discussed counseling but she says she can't talk about me to my face. Her intimacy comes and goes from day to day. She is also dealing with the death of her grandmother last year who was like a second mother to her (her grandmother lived with her all her life and helped raise her). She wants me but is afraid to get close to me...
2006-11-27 14:26:26 · 9 answers · asked by Matthew M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think that she wants you back, but she wants the family life that she had back. Not to mention the fact that she has broken up with the guy that she cheated with, leaving her all by herself after 8 years. Sounds like she starting to panic about that, but still want to make you jump through all these hoops with no guarantee that she'll even be the wife that you want.
I think you're getting the wrong end of the stick. My advice to you is to be the best dad that you can be to your children and be there everyday for them, but leave your wife alone.
2006-11-27 14:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 20:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make it clear to her that you will be there for her, but that you will not be her door mat and that you have to much respect for yourself to allow her to do that to you. And for that she will respect you more. Take things slow at first, and remind yourself that you are a great catch, don't grovel at her every request. To many men do that and when a girl knows she can have you at the drop of a hat no matter how bad she treats you, she will use that to every advantage. Also this is someone who you put allot of trust in and its going to take some time to heal some of the sores she has caused you. Good luck!
2006-11-27 14:38:38 · answer #3 · answered by bobby jo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad indeed ... I really feel bad for you and her both. She seems to be in alot of pain and needs help to deal with it... Is she seeking help for this? You may also want to go to see a counselor with her. Be there for her and be a friend and do not rush into a relationship with her just yet... Take your time and take things slow.... Talk with her and tell her how you feel.... I wish you both the best!
2006-11-27 14:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she doesn't want you but is stringing you along in hopes that she won't come off looking like the bad person. Cut her loose. Remain friends and keep civility for the children, but don't worry about "working it out" in regards to the relationship. She's told you she won't be faithful- and if she really cared it wouldn't even be something she'd have to consider.
2006-11-27 14:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get therapy before doing anything. If I had to guess, she wants you back because you provided security (money) and she needs it. Once a cheater always a cheater. Personally I would go to court and try to get custody of the kids and move on. Let her have her fun.
2006-12-03 09:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by james 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please get counseling. She is grieving over her grandmother and needs to work on that alone, then she can work with you in counseling on your marriage.
Be strong for her, with her, whether the marriage works or not. The death of someone dear to you can affect you in strange ways.
I lost my dad (very suddenly) when I was young and I'm still trying to deal with the way it affected my relationships with men.
2006-11-27 14:51:33 · answer #7 · answered by mickeyg1958 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is too tricky for Yahoo Answers. Seek couples therapy.
2006-11-27 14:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go sweetie, she already cheated on you
once a cheater always a cheater
if you keep her around she'll prove that to you
2006-11-27 14:29:32 · answer #9 · answered by smarty pants 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋