What do you tell your daughter when she does not invite you to her wedding because her mom remarried?

Question

Her mom kept telling her I should buy her more things. She got everything a normal child would get. Put her through cheerleading, brought her to concerts spent alot of time with her until she was about 17, then her friends were all that mattered. Her mom remarried we had a nasty divorice. She never came to see me. During the divorice I tried to help her with many times. Example; she had a flat tire one day which I found out while I was speaking to her mother about our other children. I went out to her location and she was gone. I called her mom back and she said Scott(remarried) took care of it. One day I was at my sons baseball game she came up to me and told me she was getting married this year. Over the next two weeks I tried to get in touch with her but she would never return my calls. I was never invited or given any dates. During the time I was trying to get in touch with her was when she married. Her mother had told me about the wedding. There is more, I am out of characters

Answer 1

My current husband has two daughters from his first marriage. Both girls refuse to accept me as their father's wife and have denied our daughter as their sister. That's okay, we've worked that out so that they'll never even be introduced as her sister, but we're talking about you now. What we discovered is that the mom was doing everything she could to keep the girls from spending time with him and telling them evil things about me to keep them from wanting to get to know me. It was hard to deal with at first, but we dealt and we moved on. He does see and talk to both of them every once in a while, but usually only when they want something.

I hope you and your daughter can figure things out and that you can develop a good, healthy relationship. As far as what to tell her, well, you seem a little hurt about it, so tell her that. Tell her that you had always dreamed of walking her down the aisle, and blah blah blah. Maybe she'll see the picture and maybe she's too brainwashed to care. You'll know as soon as you start talking to her.

Answer 2

I can't even understand how painful this must be, because I haven't been in a situation like this. But here is humble advice of a son. Of course you feel like you are losing your daughter, and in a sense, you are, because she is grown, and wants to build her own life - that's what every person does eventually. However painful that could be, you need to let her go, but be open for the time when she needs you. And I am sure, this time will come. Before then, make sure, you forgive her for anything she might have done and be ready to help her when she comes to you whether it is for help, to restore your relationship, or to introduce you to your grandchildren. There is a story in one old great bestseller about a father who let his son go, and sure enough his son came right back, when he realized just how much he needs his father. So an answer to your question "what do you tell?" would be - just tell her "I love you and I want what's best for you".

P.S. I hope my answer is not too painful.

Answer 3

Tell her you love her and you hope she's happy. You could say a lot of other things about how you're hurt and what you always tried to do, and then you could talk about her mother, but that won't make things better. If you do love her and want her to be happy, that will go a long way. Maybe if you want you could even say you're trying to understand why you weren't invited, and you're trying to get past the hurt, but in spite of that you want the best for her. I'm not sure that anything else will have an effect.

Answer 4

I really feel for you but unfortunately these things happen sometimes. Obviously your daughter felt for whatever reason that it was more important for her to have her mum at the wedding instead of you. If as you said you had a bitter divorce your daughter has probably sided with your ex. I can't judge you l don't know the circumstances but your best bet is to try speaking to your daughter, let her know how hurt and upset you were and let her explain her reasons for excluding you from her wedding. I wish you well, good luck

Answer 5

Wow, sounds like you are really trying. My dad doesnt try at all. No offense but she sounds like a *****.

Were you there while she was growing up on a constant basis?

If not she may still be mad about that.

Even though her mom is remarried, you should still at least be invited to the wedding. Has she asked you for money for the wedding? If she does ask for $ and still doesnt invite you dont give her a cent.

Answer 6

Just be patient, Dad....she'll come back around. It took my daughter 3 years for it to happen, and yes, it DOES hurt like crazy after all we've given, and done. She's getting a lot of "help" from her Mom right now, but she'll see through that after a while, and see that your ex is just trying to get even with you. Don't give up on your daughter! Keep loving her....regardless of what happens. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

John, "X" wives can be flat evil. She obviously poisoned your daughters mind against you. You have no chance at reaching her until she wants it. I'm in the same boat. My son was lied to for years and now is totally out of reach. He is also an alcoholic, left all our moral beliefs behind, and my "X" has taken responsibility for it. Lot of good that does anything now! All you can do is to be the foundation she needs. Some day she will see the lies that were created to hurt you. It's your call how you want to react to her when that time arises. Personally, I'm going to let him have it! Yell, brother it's going to be deafening!

Answer 8

Sorry to hear about that apparentlly something has happened between the two of you that she has not forgiven you for. Do not push her send her a nice wedding card and just tell her that you love her. Leave it at that. Don't push the more you do the worse it will be. Good luck

Answer 9

You know, honestly it sounds to me like your daughter has some kind of resentment towards you. Perhaps her mother has been talking badly about you in front of her and sort of turning her against you. Yeah, women do that alot, especially hearing that you and your ex wife had a nasty divorce, I wouldnt doubt it.

Answer 10

I know it is unfair that your daughter has cut you out of her life and you will always be her father but she sadly has to be the one to come to this conclusion...stay in touch with her as much as possible and never let her forget that you will always be there for her...it may take a little time but hang in there and good luck!