Why does this keep happening to me?

Question

can someone please tell me why my parents always drive men out of my life. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and my parents love him one day and hate him the next. what the hell is wrong with them. first they love him, then he gets in a fight with my brother because he insulted me and my boyfriend didnt like it, so they hate him, then they love him again and always ask when the wedding is, then love, hate, love.now they hate him again becuase my mom overheard a fight we had and said that he shouldnt be talking to me like that. ( she doesnt even know what the fight stemmed from) and it was actually my fight. i purposefully pissed him off because i was in a bad mood but thats not the point. what do i do about my parents? my mom is now saying that she forbids me to get married to him.is there anything i can say to my parents that they would understand? i have to mention that im 21, and i've been dating since high school and every guy was the same case. what do i do?????

my mom got married at 17 to get away from her mother, but now she is her mother when it comes to me. does she really want me to get her out of my life. i am going to marrry my boyfriend whether she likes it or not, how do i make her understand that without messing up our relationship

i live at home half the week and with my boyfriend the other half of the week. this was a compramise because my parents wouldnt let me move out. ( surprise surprise) the fight happened while i was getting ready for thanksgiving dinner at my house

Answer 1

it keeps happening because you allow it to happen

Answer 2

I have an over-reactive mother as well. I'm 24 and my best advice is, play it cool. If you and your boyfrind really want to get married someday, don't bring this up to your parents until that day comes. Of course all parents want the best for their children, so unless you bring home the dr. or lawyer, chances are your parents are going to disaprove until they see that your boyfriend really is a good guy.
You also have to consider that it is possible that you 2 wont be together forever, so just take one day at a time
My mom easedrops on me all the time and anytime my b/f and I get into a little agrument she freaks out but it's just beause she cares. It's annoying, yes, but my boyfriend and I talk out all our issues which is a hard quality to find in a guy.
Just make sure he really is treating you right and your not just dating him to spite your parents! (been there)
If you're truely happy, calmly explain that to your parents.
Good Luck girl!

Answer 3

First of all, you are a woman. You can decide who you will and will not date. I understand wanting approval from your parents though, completely. My ex and I were together for about 2 years and my mom hated every second of it. But I felt that he was worth it, so I stuck to my guns and I kept my relationship with my mom, but I never mentioned him. She never did get to like him, but she respected me enough to let me make my own choices and my own mistakes (not to say that you're making one, he and I just didn't fit.)

Ask yourself a few questions, and try to view it from an outsiders perspective:

Do your parents have a valid reason not to like him?

Does he feel the same way for you, that you feel for him?

Would he fight his parents to keep you?

I think that might help, if not, I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own.

Answer 4

Well - pretty much you have over protective, passive aggressive parents.

I would know - mine have always been the same - love her one minute, hate her the next.

What it comes down to, do you love him? What your parents think really doesn't matter on the grand scheme of things. Its what will make you happy. Its your life.

I know that may sound harsh - but its true. You deserve to be happy in choosing your mate, its not a matter of making your parents happy - remember its the 21st Century.

And your parents will come around - they don't have a choice really.

Pick the guy you love, get married if that's what you want... you deserve to be happy in life. Everyone does.

-dh

Answer 5

You need to grow up .Relationships are about love ,not pissing off the other person because you are in a bad mood .
Your parents are over protective to a degree,but when it comes to your brother and you ,your boyfriend should butt out until he is family.
Your mother also loves YOU and doesn`t want you to be fighting with your boyfriend either .
When you mature you will see love is not a competitive sport ,it is all about caring.

Answer 6

You are certainly old enough and sounds like mature enough to be making your own decisions about your life. You need to get out on your own and do what makes you happy. I understand where your mum is coming from being a mum myself but she needs to stop interfering and just be there if you need her advice. Your mum may feel that she's got your best interests at heart and only trying to help but the bottom line is whether she admits it or not she is trying to run your life. Speak to her, explain that you know she is there if you need her, but you also need to make your own choices. If she loves you enough she will understand where you are coming from. Best of luck for the future. Take care and be happy

Answer 7

Parents don't do things like this because they hate you (not normal parents anyway), they do it because you are dating an effin idiot, loser, dumba*s and they don't want you to either end up like they (your parents) did, or a statistic.

At 21, you're an idiot for not listening to them. What you should do is not date, make yourself the best you, you can be, and then date after you've got your life in order and then when you're 27, think about getting married.

Answer 8

WHOA there Lady ! Step back....take a breath.....and think about what you just said. ( I am going to marry my boyfriend whether she likes it or not. ) Don't do this because your in a "pizzin" contest with your folks. I can assure you it will be the biggest mistake of your life. Do a little analyzing of your relationship with your b/f.....and it won't hurt to look at you and your parents relationship. You said you are 21....OK.....you need to assert yourself and let them know your a grown woman and are capable of making your own decisions........BUT....there is always a but.....let them know you are willing to think things thru and ask for their NON-binding input. Good luck at get it done.

Answer 9

You know you're of age to make your own decisions...I suggest that you move out of your folks house.
This way when you make your own choices, you are not showing signs of disrespect. The other thing, we live in a different world now...your folks can not tell you who to marry....Come on it's 2006!!!
Sounds to me like you want your independence but still want to be taken care of.
Time to sh*t or get off the pot, girlie!!
Honestly, your mom only wants what she thinks is best for you..I think you should live on your own before you even move in with this guy...otherwise you will feel trapped eventually, by your relationship.
Good luck!!

Answer 10

Ok, well, you need to remind your parents, there is NO such thing as a "perfect" marriage. If you don't fight every once and while, the "truth" of whatever your problems are may never come out and sooner or later, a bigger fight will come between you two. Remind them that you are old enough to handle things and that, if he's gonna be family this is gonna happen every once and a while, but they need to accept the fact that these kinda things happen. Hope that helps!!! Good luck.

Answer 11

You are 21. You have a choice to make. Either be 21 and make a decision to live as an adult or keep playing the family game. It will not stop in 5 years or 10, it won't stop until you stop playing it.