How long after your spouse died, should you start dating?

Question

My husband died four years ago this christmas. I have a daughter under ten. Should you wait until she out of school?

Answer 1

My dad died 7 months ago. My mom is seeing a guy now.

Answer 2

When my husband died I waited for five years before I even thought about dating but that was because I still loved him. I was on the computer one night and met a guy. We talked on IM for 6 months and then decided to meet. That was almost 4 years ago and we are still together. I still miss my husband but I can't quit living because he is gone. If you meet someone and there is a special connection don't wait because it maybe to late. Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm sorry about your husband. I'm sure that was really hard to handle....especially at Christmas. As far as you dating though.....if you feel like you would like to spend some time with someone, then you should. I'm sure your late husband would be sad if you were sitting around lonely for years on end. Also, I'm sure your little girl would want to see you happy too. If she's under 10, then she probably doesn't remember a whole lot from when she was 6. (just from experience with one of my friend's kids) Don't punish yourself. Go ahead, it's ok!

Answer 4

No honey your husband would not want you to be alone Your daughter may feel guilty when she starts going out with her friends in a few years and this will make both your lives lonely go out and have some fun I am sure your husband would have approved and would have been happy for you good luck I hope you a life full of love.

Answer 5

OMG you should hve begun dating years ago You should be actively seeking a new partner if you want a husband. If you had died, would you want your husband to be alone???? I've written about internet dating before, so click on my avatar to read those -- I'd just be repeating myself

My ex and I parted. after I cooled off, we stayed friends, but I had left the state. We remained good friends, and even talked about the problems of internet dating. After he stopped drinking, he was again becoming the man I once knew -- my best friend. I didn't want him back as a husband, but I was overjoyed that he was finding out who he was and where he fit.... then he was killed. Part of me was ripped away. But I too was dating, and had found a really lovely man, who knew the year was not going to be easy for me, regardless of the circumstances of his death. Of course you should date, of course you should activey seek a new marriage if it is marriage you want. We are meant to be partnered, evolution made sure of that, hon.

Answer 6

I don't think there's a "right" time to start. It's when you feel comfortable. Admirable that you feel that you should wait until your daughters out of school, but I don't think there's any harm in just dating. Just don't show her a revolving door of men...in fact, it's better if she's knows nothing of who you date. Don't move any men into your house either.

Good luck!

Answer 7

You can start dating anytime you want, but you shouldn't get serious about anyone until at least a year has passed. When you say "out of school" and you also say it was four years ago, do you mean hold off until she graduates from high school? That would be uncalled for. Don't be a martyr.

Answer 8

no, i think 4 years is definitely long enough. i would say someone should wait at least a year after the death of a spouse to start dating someone new, but it really depends on the person.

Answer 9

I think maybe its about time you can start looking for someone My cousin started like months after his wife died of cancer everybody in the family was mad because we were close to her but he still with that girl but I think that 4 years is enough and Just do it when your ready Good Luck

Answer 10

The fact that you are asking that question means that someone in your heart you know that she needs you. Brining another man into the situation is going to feel like betrayal no matter what at her age...I promise you. What you have to do is keep open communication and talk to her....feel her out and warm her up to the idea of it....slowly....see how she responds....if you let her know you might want to see if there is someone out there that could be a good man.....she might see how the two of you could use having a strong role model......a good man around to help.......but forcing it on her and not talking about it.......no matter how delicately you try to do it...the actions will kill her. She will feel like he is an intruder and taking you away and she already has lost her dad. Perhaps you might talk to a counselor about it? I would pray....God has an amazing way of timing things just right.