I'm driving a group of 9 people in a van, across a lonely desert highway in Arizona, at 80 mph (cruise control). We all want to get home to L.A. quick because we have to work in the morning. THe ride is smooth for the most part, but occasional ripples in the road send the van bouncing and make the passengers (especially the ladies) nervous. They (not so nicely) request that I slow down. Now, I am faced with a choice:
1. Be a strong individual, and keep going 80 (which is a safe, reasonable 5 mph over the speed limit) and get us home sooner...taking the belief that they're all just being wussy and will calm down after a while.
2. Slow down to 70 mph (cruise control) and watch RV's pass us by and get home later. I can take the embarrasment of being passed by large trucks, but 'caving in to other people's demands', when I know they are not grounded in reality (just in unreasonable fear) doesn't sit well with me.
I chose to slow down to 70, but feel like I did the wrong thing
2006-11-27 12:26:37 · 10 answers · asked by wavemage 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No, it is not unmasculine to compromise. It is a person of character and integrity that can realize that he doesn't have to have his way all the time. You were responsible for the lives of all those people. Just because the speed limit says one thing, doesn't mean you had to go that fast. Can you imagine if you HAD gotten into an accident all you would have said in your defense was... I was going the speed limit...knowing that they were uncomfortable with it and you didn't listen, you just had to do it your way.
I applaud you for compromising. You cared about their safety above your need to be right.
2006-11-27 13:13:22 · answer #1 · answered by purple_cloud40 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heavy-footed Friend - Your question was a disappointment when I read the details. Look up the statistics for car wrecks at 80 verses 70 mph and the actual time you would have saved.
Compromise is neither masculine nor feminine, it is a reasonable way of dealing with a disagreement (as opposed to compromising principles, etc. which is a different thought process completely).
It is reasonable and intelligent to consider the safety of those riding with you as well as their peace of mind. GB
2006-11-27 12:34:23 · answer #2 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think anybody would have done the same. So what, okay let's picutre for a moment that you didn't slow down. YOU BIG MAN YOU! Only not, because then they'd just think you were a pompous blowhard and you'd probably feel worse afterwards.
I ADMIRE AND LOVE men like you, I do not like men that always have something to prove because it's a sign of weakness and they just need to chill out. It is a sign of manly strength to do what you did! I understand why you feel guilty about it but don't okay?
You do not have small penis syndrome. Be glad about that. You don't have to be rowdy and aggressive to be loved and respected. If you just don't have that type of personality than don't worry about it. Just be yourself.
2006-11-27 12:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think so, you and the 7 other people in the van would have to hear the lady bit** the whole time about going slower so you would have had to suffer either way. When it comes down to being unmasculine, I define being completely masculine as beating your wife, fighting every day, yelling at people all the time, threating anyone that intimidates you, being very insecure, raping people and giving in to all animal instinct. Call me a sissy, but I wouldn't want to be completely masculine.
2006-11-27 12:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
u made the right choice.. the way habits are is that it takes twenty one times of doing something to make it a habit and then you procrastinate over everything and then obsess over the others stuff so i wouldn't want to ride with anybody in the deserts of Arizona either
2006-11-27 14:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very manly to make the difficult choice... especially when other men may perceive your choice as un-manly.
Remember: the fear may seem unreasonable to you, but is VERY real to the people who are scared.
I think you did the kind thing... and without complaining. Good work.
2006-11-27 12:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by Mikisew 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There fear was grounded in reality, from their reasoning point. So, you did the right thing, just for the wrong reasons.
2006-11-27 12:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what u did was thoughtful, kind and sensible, and very human by the way, so if u think in order to be masculine u could have done the other thing, then masculinity is not part of humanity
2006-11-27 12:58:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comprimise isn't a gender specific quality. It is an admirable human quality. Personally I believe any man of quality isn't afraid of a woman of equality.
2006-11-27 12:52:55 · answer #9 · answered by Rain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are people you care about...you did the right thing. They should have requested nicely.
If you had picked #1 in my books you would definately be a prick
2006-11-27 12:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by kardea 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋