I am 18 years old and my boyfriend wants me to have another kid, cause i already have one and she is 2 years old... I Really don't want to but he says he will leave me if i don't want do i do?
2006-11-27 12:13:31 · 25 answers · asked by enjoying_lyfe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he wants to leave, let him leave. Having another baby will not keep him that much longer. If he really loves you, he would care about how you fell having another baby. You are only 18 and raising one baby is enough work as it is. You had your whole life ahead of you and now it has stopped because you have to take care of this child. You are responsible for this child until they turn 18 so that means you have 16 years left. If you had a second baby with this man can leave you at any time with 2 children to raise by yourself, and it sounds like he would because has already threatened to leave you with one child. So I would suggest you have another baby. Tell how you really feel and stick by your decision. If he leaves you, then you will know that he really doesn't love you. And then you can find somebody who really does love you and that is the good news. Maya Angelou once said, If someone shows you who they are believe them. And by leaving you he will show you who he really is.
2006-11-27 12:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait and if he doesn't like it, show him the door. Either way, he will still be responsible for the baby that he has already fathered. Why won't he marry you? There are already too many children in the world that are unwanted, please don't add another one. You, being mom, will have most of the responsibility for the child. Is he a control freak? He might want you to have another child because your daughter is 2 and getting a bit self-sufficient and he can feel that you may have free time that he wants to fill to keep you right where he wants you. I would not have another child with this guy until you get a firm committment from him.
2006-11-27 12:21:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's nuts, and you are crazy. You are 18 and you have already had a two year old child???? and you aren't married? Well like that doesn't really matter, but there are a few things, hon, you really ought to think about. (First, where is your mom??? and what did she tell you about living as an adult? She must have missed something. Why on god's green earth did you have a kid at 16??? Have all the sex you want, but be on the pill, for christ sake..... Why aren't you finishing hs. Why aren't you in a training program to better yourself.... Geeez!!!!)
Most guys as young as the one you are with stick around with their minor children until the kid is about 4. (you have two more years max with this guy...) That is a common fact...ask any social worker that took any course in Social Work 101. (The guy you are with at 16 ain't the guy you will want to be with at 26, and it is the same for him... what he saw in you at 16 isn't going to be there when you are 26..... )At age 4 a kid can pretty much forage for himself, if we were to go back about 5000 years -- just the blink of an eyelash in the history of civilization...we haven't changed much -- it is still about 4 years. If he is telling you he will leave if you don't have another, why is that?????? It is because he is still a baby himself, and thinks that to be a real man, he has to show the world that he is fertile.....So, HE'S got a problem, honey.
Haven't you ever read some of these questions on this site? This one is you a few years from now:
"I have two children, and no education. My boyfriend left me, and I have no job skills, and no way to earn a living. I can't go back to live with my parents, and have no relatives. When my new boyfriend comes around, he beats me. I don't want to live in a shelter. What do I do...?" Yup, one like this last week. Check it out.... The gal had no education, the guy a drunk, she worked 3 jobs, their children were taken away by the state and in foster care, and he was stealing her $$ to by beer......
Secondly, when he leaves, who is going to be feeding these kids.... YOU??? you don't even have a hs diploma.... about the best you can do is a job at McDonalds, and hey, I'm just glad as hell someone is there -- I like McDonalds. I love fancy hotel rooms too, sweetie, and it is people with no education like you who are changing those beds, cleaning those toilets, and giving me a massage...... You hearing me yet? And if you like a lovely man in your life later, surprise!!!!! --- guys regard other guy's kids as baggage, big time, so be prepared to be by yourself a llllooooonnnnngggg time, or producing other guy's babies on really short term relationships. Public records are filled with women who have 5 or 6 kids all by different men. Why? BC pills have been around a looong time. What ARE the women thinking??? That if they have this present guy's kid, he'll stay. Yeah, he will -- for a year or two. And that takes you to age 28 sweetheart. There ain't nuttin' worse than being a single mom except for being a black single mom...... You're about to be just one up from the bottom....
2006-11-27 13:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone pressure you to have another kid. You will know when you feel like your ready. Everyone did that to me. I was 17 when I had my daughter and now at 25 I had my second child. A lot of people talk about the age difference and starting all over again.... but in reality once your 1st child's out of diapers the new baby starts....
2006-11-27 12:24:27 · answer #4 · answered by alananavarro22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything that you don't want to. Even if he leaves you, are you ready for another child at 18? I think what he's asking is unrealistic. He could simply walk away and then you'll have to raise 2 kids, all by yourself, at a very young age.
If he does leave you, file for sole custody and child support.
2006-11-27 12:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will leave you if you don't have a kid? That is a new one on me...who is to say that he will not leave you if you DO have a kid...that is the more likely scenerio...do not let him bully you...if you do not want to have another child right now then you have every right not to...he may not be around when the child is born even for all his talk...do what you feel is right and phooey on him!
2006-11-27 13:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then you should tell him to leave he going to any way after you have this baby because of the responsible of having a baby he is just a kid him self dont be foolish you are very young your self one baby is enough.and there are a lot of good men out there that would take you as a girl friend and except the responsible of taking care of you and your baby but you dont need to bring in a other baby at your age that would be very foolish on your part and your boy friend ic he like playing games with you bye telling you either you have my baby or I'm going to leave you let hI'm leave call him on his bluff.im a single father of 2 girls i know how hard it is dont do it.
2006-11-27 13:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by little_bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. what guarantee do you have that he will stay with you anyways?? You know you want to wait, you know how hard it is to have 1 child at 18, think about how much harder it will be to have 2 kids. Do whats right for you.
2006-11-27 12:19:49 · answer #8 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's crazy talk girl, what kind of boyfriend is going to threaten to leave you if you don't have another baby. If you feel like your not ready for baby #2 than "DON'T". I think you need to put your foot down in this situation & let him know that your not ready for baby #2 & if he can't accept that than your probably better off without him.
2006-11-27 12:21:34 · answer #9 · answered by Reckless 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont do it unless you really can cope. I have 2 kids when I am 18 and the 3rd one when I am 21.
I know how hard it is...?
Time and money is really the matter..
2006-11-27 12:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋