should I stay or should I go?

Question

I am married to a woman that loves me , and I love her , but I do not enjoy her company , we have two sons 25 and 26 ,we have been together 27 years

Answer 1

How can you say you love someone and not want to be around them. We women spend a great part of our lives trying to please our men, only to find out that they don't enjoy our company any longer, what kind of crap is that?

Answer 2

I can't believe that a Man of your (so called) maturity having been married for 27 years with 2 grown Sons, would come on here & ask such a question. What if everyone were to answer & tell you to leave, would you go? what if everyone were to say you should stay, would you stay?
Here you are a fully grown Man with much experience under your belt (you should have gained something over the years in experience at any rate) & you can't for the life of you find out why your wife is so boring. perhaps she's boring because you are, perhaps with other people she's quite interesting.

When I was a Child & would complain of being bored, the stock answer given to me would be "it's not your surroundings that are boring, it's you that is boring, because you can't think of a way to improve the situation"

Are you serious? you are really thinking of leaving your wife of 27 years because of boredom. After all these years you have come up with absolutely nothing at all to put some kind of spark into your life. This problem has been with you & your wife for ages, it hasn't just appeared overnight. Perhaps you feel your wife is here to somehow "entertain" you.
She couldn't have been boring when you met her, so what's happened, have you bothered to try finding out?

This is your marraige we're talking about here, not some game you've become pis.sed off with. Any marraige is what we make it. Whatever you put in you'll get out. Why don't you find things that you can both do together, or doesn't she want to do anything with you? If you've already tried & failed then I'm afraid your wife isn't any longer in love with you & doesn't really care to be around you much. This is something you need to talk to her about really, You need to find out what's going through her head. It may be that leaving will bring her lots of happiness as well as you, It may be that things can get sorted out. You don't actually say what you've tried so far so it's difficult to say the best thing to do.

I know this much though, you're not going to solve the apparent problems of ending up with a 27 yr old boring marriage by expecting everyone on YAnswers to come up with a solution for you.

That you have asked this question on here is I suspect very telling about the kind of person you are.

For God's sake, let the poor Woman go, she has plenty of time to meet someone that could probably light a hell of a fire in her.

Answer 3

I would be interested in why you do not enjoy her company? If it's because you have nothing to talk about try taking up a hobby together. At the least let her know how you feel and that you want to work on it together and give it a chance. It would be a shame to throw it away after 27 years.

Answer 4

Sometimes we get to relax with the one we are with that we feel we don't need to show them that we still love them.27 years is a life time some people don't live that long.you have allowed the glem that you once had in your eyes for your wife to go out.And you probley show it we you are in her presents...stop it ...you are hurting her.look back on the times when you looked at her and she made your heart beat like crazy...when you first felt that she was what was missing in your life to compleat you.And now that you have her you no longer enjoy her company anymore.Why.... I asure you the answer lies in you and that you are the problem and not her.If she was good enough then ..she is still good enough now.Time has a way of changing us from the yesterday person to the furture person that we are meant to be.Of course she is not that same girl you married 27yrs ago and neither are you the same.Time brings about change and change is good.she no longer think and act as she did 27yrs ago because she is more educated to life.Maybe you should try putting more focus on the possitive things about her and not rag so much on the negetive things of her.Build her up instead of tearing her down...I'm sure she has changed in many ways that make her not feel so good about herself anymore and that is when you should step and remind her how beautiful she is and how much she means to you .Don't thow her away as trash because someone will pick her up dust her off and appreicate the tresure that she is.anytime a woman is in a relationship and when she realize that her mate no longer seems to be intres in her she begins to shut down because her self esteem has been battled.Talk with her and embrace her make her feel that you love her and and how she compleates you.once she begins to feel your love again she will raise up and and you will see a whole different woman that you can appriciate.Many blessings!!!

Answer 5

You two have been together for a long time. Sometimes people fall out of love, or grow apart. If you can't rekindle the flame, or are not getting along, or you can't stand to be around her, then it's time that you leave. Twenty-seven years is a very long time. Don't stay in a relationship and you are not happy. That is not a life and is very unhealthy. I am telling you from experience, don't stay in any relationship that you're unhappy in. Life is short, so make it as sweet as possible. Both of your sons are adults, so you have no dependents. Live......

Answer 6

After 27 years you don't enjoy her company? WOW, that's tough. Think of it this way, after 27 years no one really enjoys each others company because they know each other so well, they become predictable. I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about you, but giving the history you two have, she doesn't walk away. And If I were you, I wouldn't walk away either. Good Luck

Answer 7

This is a joke, right? You can't think of a thing to do together? Travel, doesn't interest you? Ya know, she is probably bored silly with you, but is too kind to tell you. And maybe that is what happens in old marriages --- we were never meant to last this long much less stay married that long. Perhaps you should think about what your life would be like if suddenly she had died. Miss her? Miss your life with her? Better tell each other soon, hon...

Answer 8

You don't enjoy her company???? Married 27 years, and this is the best you can come up with for an excuse for a divorce? Yeah, tell your boys, I love your Mom, but I left her because she bored me to death.

Answer 9

When I don't like someone's company, I leave. Then again I'm not married. Your kids are old enough, if her company is really bad I'd consider leaving. But look at all the alternatives because divorce can be expensive for a guy. My parents have been divorced for many years, and they are still friends. Divorces aren't always ugly.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like the two of you need to get out of a rut. Maybe if you tried something new together you would rediscover those feelings that have kept you together all of these years. My parents went through a few tough times after we were all grown. They took dancing lessons together and put one night a week aside for going out. It worked wonders. At the very least try counseling. Believe me when I say divorce comes at a very high cost. Adult children suffer just as profoundly as younger people do when their parents divorce.

Answer 11

after 27 years,you at least should look at trying. try doing things together that you both enjoy, try to remember what you both enjoyed before kids and work became an issue.remember a midlife crisis doesnt last a life time but a wife does, with a bit of effort. try talking to her about how your felling. you might just find that she feels the same.