My boyfriend left me 4 years ago. We lived together and one night he never came home. For a long time I was sad and depressed. I thought my world had come to a crashing halt. I was depressed for a long time.
Then I met my current boyfriend. At first I rejected him, I was afraid to be in love. The fear of being abandoned was overpowering! But eventually I agreed and I have grown to care for him deeply. But I don't love him. I still love my ex-boyfriend!
And then 3 nights ago my ex- boyfriend called me! He told me he loved me, he was sorry, and he wanted to see me. I don't know what to do! He told me he had travelled Europe while he was gone, and he had matured. I'm very confused and I'm hurt. How can he just call me and ask me to take him back!?
I need advice....please.....
2006-11-27 11:36:39 · 14 answers · asked by Jeann K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
WHOA!
Are you *sure* you don't love your current boyfriend? The one who's there for you? The one who DIDN'T abandon you?
Your old boyfriend is simply bored and rethinking his past, exploring his "what ifs". You already did that. While he was "maturing" you were healing.
You may not have the same chemistry with your current boyfriend, but you have a stable, secure, trusting relationship. The old guy didn't even bother to call for 4 years. yeah. Real mature.
You will NEVER be able to trust old bf again, and if you do, it's only because new bf taught you how to. You owe it to yourself and your new bf to ignore the old jerk. Turn off your phone, tell yourself "PAIN!" everytime you think of him. Remember, deeply, how you felt when he left without a word. And don't look back.
2006-11-27 11:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderland 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A guy is capable of doing just about anything. If this guy really truly loved you he wouldnt have left you without ever knowing what was going on. No consideration for your feelings, and now out of the clear blue sky he calls and wants to see you again. What youre feeling for him is not love for him now but a dream you once had for him. Time has changed you both and once you see him youll realize your feelings for him have changed too. Time has matured you two so you wont be as easily ready to take him back again and probably get hurt all over once he moves on again when he gets bored. Stay with your new bf but you will have to see your ex just to get him out of your system so you can move on without regrets. Just dont believe his lies,just remember no one disappears for 4 yrs without a word to someone he really loves and then just reappears as if nothing happened and expects to take up your romance where he left off. Good luck
2006-11-27 19:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only way you are ever going to either be happy or let go of this guy is to give it another chance. 4 years is a long time to hold onto feelings if something isn't really there. Or, maybe you just need some closure.
Either way, just be true to your feelings. And, it's not really fair to the guy that you are seeing now that you are in love with someone else.
2006-11-27 19:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just went out one night and never came home?!?!...He could of been dead all this time and you wouldn't of known it. I can't believe he did that and never even bothered to call. How long were ya'll together before he walked out? I'm not saying you should stay with your current b/f because you may not really love him, but I swear I don't think I would go back to b/f number 1. That's pretty jacked up.
2006-11-27 19:41:04 · answer #4 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i understand what you went through cause i am going through a similar situation...if i were you, i would never leave my current boyfriend even if my ex begged to come back to me...Your ex hurt you a lot by leaving the way he did and not caring for your feelings and your pain...and would probably hurt you again...
Your current boyfriend, on the other hand, stood by you when you were hurt and scared...he was there for you...and he still is...he never did hurt you, never did leave you, and was there for you all along...he loved you with your pain, with your fears, and with your insecurities...i would never leave such a guy, never!!! He never did hurt me, and it is highly unlikely that he ever will...how could i repay him by just leaving him after all he has done for me?
My advice to you...stay with your current boyfriend...your ex had his chance and he hurt you in the worst way imaginable...
2006-11-27 19:47:13 · answer #5 · answered by Need Help! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't meet with him. now out of the blue he decided to call and say he was sorry. i don't think so. he is only calling now because he is in town and around familiar places and things and so now he figures he might as well give you a call. because he knew how hard you took it when he left and thinks he can get back in. and play with your heart again. please don't do it. he's just trying to play with you again. he was gone for 4 long years....you met someone nice i know you said you don't love him but give it time, if not be single but say no to your EX....take care.
2006-11-27 20:10:14 · answer #6 · answered by starlily 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't deserve to have you back in his life. And you have no obligation to take him back. If he's really matured, then he'll realize that. I say, stick with your current bf. You love him and you don't need to put yourself into a terrible situation like the one 4 years ago again! Best wishes to you!
2006-11-27 19:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coming from some one who knows how you feel my boyfriend disappears edleast 2 times a week for a day but he comes back,i feel the pain just the same some times it takes a man a while to relize what he had,maybe he was afraide and didnt want to hurt you,although he failed at it,you cant keep ahold of hurt feelings it will consume you,forgive and move on,if you love him work it out only you can do what your heat tells you,but besure to listen to your subconsouse,it knows best...
2006-11-27 19:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by joannluna1974 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the ex-boyfriend. You don't want to find out the hard way if he's really matured or he's trying to trick you. Be happy with your current boyfriend.
2006-11-27 19:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you should fallow you heart. You know that famous quote " They say if you love something, you've got to let it go, and if it comes back, then it means so much more".
Based on that i would say say follow your heart and since you relized you love your ex more that you current boyfriend it would be better to go with the one you love that to keep you and him in that realationship. It's not fair to him or to yourslef.
Well I hope this helps.
2006-11-27 19:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by Omega 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋