What to do when your Mom and sister hate your girlfriend who you plan on getting married to?

Question

They really hate my girlfriend for various reason but none are really that serious. My girlfriend isnt really comfortable around them and they have problems when she dosent come around even thought they dont like her. They talk about her behing her back all the time, My girlfriend here's stuff they say about her and thats why she dosent like going around them. Problem is were planning on getting married within the next 6 month to a year and this problem seems un fixable. any advice

Answer 1

"Various Reasons" I will trust you when you say none of them are serious. If I were you, I would put my foot down once and for all. Tell your Mom and your sister, be nice about it but firm, that you do not appreciate their back stabbing regarding your wife-to-be. Tell them you love them all, but you are not going to put up with any more of it. And if they love you, they will have to make the effort to accept her as well, because YOU love her and that should be reason enough. Tell them that disrespecting HER is like disrespecting YOU. And you do not want them to do it anymore. If they are reasonable people, they will listen and abide. If they are not, I would simply make myself scarce when it comes to visiting your mother and sister. Harsh as it may sound, they will get the message and eventually lighten up on your beloved. CONGRATS on your upcoming wedding and GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 2

Just read what you said in the first sentence, "They really hate my girlfriend for various reason but none are really that serious."

Well right off I'd say that if it isn't real serious then you and your girl have a sit down with your mom and sister and everybody get the problems out on the table. If you continue without communicatiing things will only get worse.

Personal advise: If you and your fiance are not at least 25yr old I would strongly urge against you getting married to start with. I know you don't like to hear that huh. But here's another tid-bit of good advise, if you are under 25 and don't use come kind of birth control you may be forced into things that you might not want to do. Think about that long and hard friend.

Just a caution, take it or leave it.

Answer 3

I've read for years that men marry women a lot like their mothers...

And of course your sister probably doesn't fall far from the tree either... So basically the reason they don't all get along is because they more than likely are a lot like each other and that's what puts them at odds with each other.

If you sat down and made comparisons between them, you'll notice a few of their similarities, but they'll be the last ones to notice them and the last ones to agree with you too.

So... When you're alone with you're Mom, ask "Mom, do you not like ____ because you two are a lot alike?"
Then ask your sister the same question but not when you're Mom is around.

If you really want to see a reaction, first ask your Dad! He'll probably agree 100%!

Good luck!

Answer 4

Some females can sense the motives of other females. They can be harsh judges if the girl does not act like the way they think is right. Also, if you cater to your fiance relentlessly it can annoy family. Like if you have to call her to "check in" every minute, or if she asks for stuff and you always give in. They could be jealous of the attention you give her, and they may think she is undeserving of you for whatever reason. It depends what the reasons are that you call non-serious. Being in a relationship can sometimes blind one on the inside, but things can be obvious to some on the outside.

Answer 5

If I were your girlfriend I'd seriously think about what I was getting into. A family that hates me would be a total deal breaker to me. Who wants to live with that all your life, not me and she shouldn't want that either. If you do get married I suggest you move far away from them and live your life elsewhere, otherwise you will have problems over everything. Wait until you have kids, you think you have trouble now! Sheeesh........ Too bad people can't get along.

Answer 6

You know, even though they dont like her you do. Your not going to look for a girl that your parents like when you dont like her. Get married and live separately. Dont live together. Then will like her with time. Talk to your mom about why she hates your girlfriend. Fix that problem. If it cant be fixed you tried. They will have to deal with it.

Answer 7

This isn't cool at all. If you are planning on marrying this girl all of this crap has to get worked out for you to be able to maintain a happy marriage and a good relationship with your fiance. Think about going to family counseling to resolve these issues.

Answer 8

your mom and sister don't even have a clue what there doing to you and your girl friends lifes together. thay are very wickid women. marry your girlfriend and tell those women to kiss your ***. there the ones thats going to lose, because to keep you always in there lives they should have made a very good friend of your girlfriend, your girlfriend will do everything in her power to keep you away from them after your married to her and i won't blame her. everyone in this world has something good about them to love, your mom & sis should find that in your girlfriend and invite her in to your family with open arms...tell them to stop being bullies and love her like you do....good luck

Answer 9

You,your girlfriend,and your family should do more activities.Something like the bowling alley or something that ya'll can talk and have fun at the same time.Maybe your mom and sister are worried that she may ''take over'' you.They may be scared that when you get married they will never see you.You may get married and have children and start getting in debts.

Answer 10

I think you should not worry about your family. Family will always come in between your relationship... that's just how family is they care alot. The only thing that matter is do you love this gurl and does she love u and are u ready to be married to her. Do u really see this woman a person you can spend you WHOLE life with. Ask yourself those questions. Don't worry bout your sis and ma, they are always gonna care about you and the person you love.. they just want the right person for you.