How do I know if I'm ready to date after a 14 yr. marriage to my first!?

Question

My husband was the first guy I went out to eat with, and a movie with! He was my first , I feel weird to even think of having anyone else touch me! I feel lonely and sometimes desire that touch of a man holding me! When will I be ready and not feel guilty!

Answer 1

When you allow yourself to be ready. Why are you hanging on to something that is over? Why feel guilty when the situation you feel guilty about, doesn't exist?

Sounds more like you are making excuses for yourself not to date, because you are somewhat fearful.

Just do it...I'm 41, been married and divorced myself...dating isn't a huge mystery and it's a great social experience (or can be).

Take your time...perhaps you should join a class or club or a gym or some place you can meet people in a casual atmosphere and become more comfortable with the idea of socializing with males, before taking the step of a one-on-one date.

Answer 2

These are probably early days. Give it time. I have not personally been through this experience but I absolutely know what you mean about not being able to imagine being with somebody else. I've known quite a few women over the years who felt the same way, and in more recent years, several new widows too. I believe there are women's support groups these days in a lot of places where newly divorced or widowed men and women can go to talk back and forth and share their fears and feelings. It might help you to see if you can locate a group like this. There may even be an online version.
I'm sure that if you just don't "push it" and, simply concentrate on getting your life together gradually, that moment will come one day, quite unexpectedly, when you suddenly realise you have emerged from that "dark tunnel" It takes some people a little longer than others, but in the overwhelming majority of cases, it surely does come. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Hun, this is natural. When the timing is right then you'll be ready. Often divorce is like a death. You have to go through the anger, denial, mourning, until you can accept it and go on with your life. Don't rush things.

And dating is a lot different now. People seem to fall in love (or claim to) at the drop of a hat. When you do start dating, take it slow. Especially with the first one you date.

Answer 4

If you are married you may always feel guilty. Guilt is the inability to forgive oneself for a perceived wrongdoing. Perceived wrongdoing means that you believe you have done something wrong. The wrongdoing may or may not have had negative consequences for yourself and/or others. If others were involved, they may or may not still be angry or hurt by the wrongdoing. A perceived wrongdoing may be an action, a thought or a feeling. If the wrongdoing was an action, you probably will think of it as a mistake. You will feel guilty for the wrongdoing because you cannot forgive yourself for it. You cannot let it go. If you cannot forgive yourself, you will not overcome the guilt. And since Infidelity is seeking self-satisfaction at the expense of commitment to another and is it betrayal and involve lying and deceiving some people will never overcome guilt.

Answer 5

You DON'T know... You just kinda have to make an educated guess, and roll with the punches. Dating is a "trial-and-error" thing; it can be fun, it can be painful, it can be all of the above; as long as you're going in with your eyes open, you should do well. Set some realistic expectations, and give it a try. Keep in mind that you will likely start feeling more confident as time goes by and you get more experience.

Answer 6

analyze practice that the more youthful someone dates, the further probable she is to have sex out of wedlock. it rather is why people propose that little ones ought to initiate relationship round 16 years previous. with the help of that element they comprehend who they are and what their criteria are. It appears like your daughter is rather independant and is conventional with what she is speaking about, yet what must be worse than listening to that your 14 year previous daughter is pregnant. what's she were given "stuck up contained in the instantaneous"? It absolutely takes a million time. With the boyfriend. He can't get in difficulty if not something occurs... and, if she is going alongside willingly and takes an lively section contained in the, nicely you comprehend, and testifies that she DID truly take section contained in the action, I don;t imagine he can get in difficulty...

Answer 7

how long have you been divorced? That feeling of not being guilty will come. You will know when you are ready. Don't let anyone push you into doing anything that you are not ready to do.

Answer 8

one has to take certin risks, and open themselves up to others, after a divorce it does do something to our self worth, after that many years with one man it will feel weird to be with someone else. but the past is the past and u have to move forward. just take it slow, maintain boundaries. u should not feel guilty being with someone else, u are mostlikely still in love with your ex, and just because they are no longer in our lives doesn't mean we don't still love them in some way. but we have to give someone else a chance, as no one was meant to be alone.

Answer 9

I just came out of a 16 year relationship-same scenario. You are never "ready" to date. Just start doing it and eventually it becomes natural. Warning though, being alone starts to get comfortable!

Answer 10

took me after 24 yrs. ?
right at 18 months,
& it was weird the first couple dates

, then I met a wonderful guy, spent all summer with & it was just wonderful, never expected, wasn't looking for & there it was , out of the blue....