cheating dad?

Question

im 15 and well, i read through my dad's emails today and there's this lady he met on a dating site and she's in love with him and stuff it seems and she want to have sex with him and that's what im reading from the email. stuff like that. he doesnt seem to be saying stuff like that too but the thing is, he's asking her when they wanna meet and where and all that stuff but he asked her if she's actually serious about meeting. it's creeping me out beacuse my dad is married and he's like 53 years old and my mom is 47 and he has kids (me and my brother who's 12). i know my parents arent "in love" anymore, they just seem to be getting along like friends it seems. but my dad isnt only talking to one girl online, he's talking to two i've seen, maybe even more. he did this years ago and i told my mom about it but she just said that at his age, he just wants to talk and see what these people are like on dating services just for fun. is that kind of normal for men? im worried what should i do???

my dad doesnt seem to flirt at all with other women. i've never seen him like this before. i dont think he's really cheating, i think he's just talking for the excitement. my parents get along fine and they have been for years. no sign of wanting to divorce at all. oh and his email and stuff is kind of easy to get into. he knows that i know his password and doesnt seem to care. though sometimes when i come into the room and he's on the computer, he shuts the laptop. oh and he's never gone anywhere overnight or suspicious.

Answer 1

First of all, you shouldn't be reading your father's emails. Of course you are "creeped out", you're reading about your dad. "Adult" issues are not something you or your brother should be concerned with, they are between your parents.

It sounds to me like your mother has decided she "doesn't want to know" what your father is up to. Maybe that's her way of "dealing" with this. In any event, that's her decision.

Just because your father is in his "50's" and your mom is in her "40's" doesn't mean their marriage should be "loveless". My husband and I have been married for 34 years and we are still very much "in love" with each other.

Your father's actions are "wrong", he's setting a very poor example for you and your brother. However, if you weren't "spying on him" in the first place, you wouldn't have to hear that!

It isn't "normal" for men to behave like this, although (sadly) some men do. Marriage that is based on love and respect doesn't "diminish" as we age, it grows "stronger".

I'm sorry that you are worried, but I don't think you are going to feel better if you continue to read your father's emails. If you are really upset and worried then I guess I'd tell you to talk to your father. It doesn't seem like your mom wants to hear about it or discuss it with you.

Good luck with this.

Answer 2

The most important thing for you, dear, is to accept that the relationship that your father and mother have is theirs. I know that is difficult, because you all are a family, but the truth is, grown people who have spent their lives learning sometimes do things differently that you might think they should---but they may have reasons for it. For example, what if your father is doing his online acitivites because your mom isn't interested in being with him anymore? I'm only saying that there may be more to this then you realize. If you feel that confronting your Dad will make you feel better, then by all means, do it. But realize that you are not going to affect the outcome of their relationship, no matter how much you might like to. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 3

Dont do anything about it. If your mum knows what is going on, and she is not worried at all, then just leave it alone. Your mum might be doing the same thing maybe that is why she is not worried. But regardless, your dad is grown enough to take care of himself. I will say worry more about you and less about him. It is not a new thing. Men and women do it all the time, some just lie and pretend about it, and some just dont care. Take care of yourself and your brother and let your parents worry about themselves.

Answer 4

Your mom just didnt want you to see your dad for what he really is a cheater. She has accepted the fact a long time ago(when you first told her) he hasnt stopped since then I am sure. Parents think that the kids arent aware of whats going on in the household. Its time some parents gave the kids more credit in knowing whats going on. They stay for the kids sake.Talk to your dad let him know that you know whats going on.

Answer 5

You should not worry because this isn't your problem. But I would tell your dad what you know. Let him relize that he's hurting someone. No child should be exposed to that. The only reason men go on sites is because a part of them wants to find another woman.....if he can't be faithfull, they should divorce. If your not comfortable talking to your father, then you should go to your mom or a guidence official at school. It will hurt your mom, but she can put that asside to help you. In a marriage the kids are more important.

Answer 6

Obviously your mother doesn't seem concerned. Maybe you should tell her about it again . I don't think that it is "normal". And I don't think that it is right. But, If your Mom doesn't care; then that's on them what they do. If you approach your Dad on the feelings that your having about it; it may make him think twice on the impression he is giving you as a Father figure. Maybe you could talk to them at the same time.

Answer 7

it's okey i am having the same problem. but i think u should think tooo much because it ruins ur health. when i found out about my dad cheating on my mom i fainted and for 5 mins i was unconscious and it was really serious.
don't worrie if ur mom is oey with it then it deosn't matter.
they have undersating with each other.
hey girl don't agree with latino lifestyl.

Answer 8

well, some men are just like talking and see what other people are like. Your Dad has nothing to hide if he keeps his emails to be readily accessible to other family members. I wouldn't stress out too much about it if I were you.

Answer 9

It seems your mom has known about it in the past and is okay with it. They may just have an understanding.

I know a girl who was in your place and their parents broke up. Think of all the consequences before you act.

Answer 10

IF you are only 15 you should not be looking at your dad stuff anyway. if your mom wanted to know she would look her self don't start something you don't want to stay out of it