Is there such a thing as giving your cheating husband a second chance?

Question

Just found out that my husband cheated on me, lied about it for several months while he was talking to the gal over the internet. She live in a different country.... She was back for a visit when the cheating went on. Now, after he told me about all that happened, he swears he will never do it again and never did it prior to this time. He says it is over with her but, it still hurts to think my husband was with another... He seems to be devoted to my and our children now. Do i give him a second chance after all the lies and stuff?

Answer 1

Yes ofcourse there is !! If you love him enough, you will forgive him for one mistake. I understand that you are hurt, l was too but l do not believe in " once a cheater always a cheater " after all we are all human, we are bound to make mistakes. I know it was a very big one but if he is remorseful and you genuinely believe in your heart that he will never do it again, forgive him this once. I did and l couldn't be happier. It is a lot harder to forget but hopefully with time and plenty of love that will also ease. Hope all works out for you. Good luck

Answer 2

Those are decisions only you can make. It is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. Forgivable for some & not for others. I am assuming you are still together because you say he seems devoted to you & the children. But keep in mind anyone who is caught doing anything as serious as this usually is humble for quite a while afterwards & will do & say whatever it takes to avoid further confrontation hoping the matter will go away. Guilt has a way of keeping a person in line. Sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently. You know him better than anyone here. You must ask yourself. Am I staying for the sake of the children or can I truly & completely forgive him keeping in mind of course that he had the opportunity to come clean, didn't & then went ahead with with his nasty little deed. There has to be a "yes" answer to either of those two questions. If it's for the children, then you & they shouldn't be there. You're only prolonging the pain. If you can honestly forgive him "unconditionally" then stay & get some counselling. Once a cheater always a cheater is the old adage. Only you know if it applies here.

Answer 3

This is a fine edged sword.
If you do not trust, or re-establish the trust lost for this action of cheating, you are not condoning the action and the wedding vows "through thick and thin, for better or worse. Being of one with each other til death do you part."
If you do re-establish the trust for this action, you accept the fact of a wandering eye as forgivable. If this person has cheated once, and lied continuously about it, will that person repeat this behavior again some other time, somewhere else?
Once a side is chosen then you have your answer.
With children involved, and you are considering doing it for the kids, remember they know if something is wrong. If the parents are having difficulties, the children feel them no matter what. When Mom and Dad are "going through a rough time," so is everyone else.
The choice is yours to make. Consider these things carefully, and let your heart and head agree with your choice.
Best wishes and good luck!

Answer 4

Everybody says: "Once a cheater always a cheater". I am proof that the saying is wrong. I have no reason to lie about this since nobody here knows me. Yes I cheated ONCE, it's been almost 10 years since my affair. I made a mistake, yes granted it was a big one, but I have learned from it. My wife and I are now happier than we have ever been, my wife took a great risk giving me another chance but she says that it was well worth it. I can't tell you if your husband will cheat on you again, have a long talk with him lay everything out ask everything you need to ask and if in your heart you feel you can still trust him then it might be worth taking a chance. I am not sticking up for your husband nor for what he did, but it would be a shame if your marriage still had a chance to be saved but it ended up in divorce because of a hasty decision. You have all the time you need to give this your full and thorough thought. Good luck!

Answer 5

Only you can truly answer this question as youre the one who has to live with him after knowing this. As for second chances,they happen all the time everyday in all sorts of scenarios. Like everything else time will eventually move this into a past memory some day, but you will have to learn to live with it and him for awhile. He has lost your trust for now so itll be awhile for him to regain it back and you will probably wonder what if every time someone hangs up on the phone or hes late from work. It wont be easy but it can be done and is all the time. You just have to weigh your options here and decide whats best for you and your kids and whether youre better off with or without him. Good luck

Answer 6

Yes, there is such a thing as taken back a cheating husband, but it usually turns out really bad.
He's really devoted now because you are angry and he feels guilty. His devotion shouldn't be based on this it should have come before the months of looking for another woman on the Internet.

Answer 7

You are the only one that can answer that question. He cheated are you to believe that is over because he said so. If you found out I am sure he didnt want to disrespect you any further. If this female lives out of the county thats one reason it might be over. I am sure she cant come as often as he would like. It was exciting to him anything new usually is. He was happy that someone other than his wife found him attractive. Sometime we all need that little assurance. If you decide to get back with him you will have to trust him if you cant dont get back into the relationship. It wouldnt be worth it for the family. Kids shouldnt be in a unhealthy household. You can assure him when he leaves out the door. That get old and will cause more problems. I hope you make the right choice for yourself and your family.

Answer 8

Tough situation. For it sounds like you may have gone "home" to "Mom and Dad". I "get" how your Dad feels, but people DO change. WHAT DO YOU WANT? IF you love this man? You and he should "date" for probably 6 months to a year WHILE you go to counseling together. Let's see HOW serious he is...If during this time he "falls down" BIG time? Your answer will be right there in front of you, but if you still love him and he is indicating the desire to change and will buy into this agreement, then I would do it and tell my father HOW you're proceeding - that you WON'T be jumping back into marriage for at least a year and PLENTY long enough to see if your ex's "spots" have really matured, changed, improved. Fathers are so protective, but you need to be ADULT, MATTER OF FACT about this - You're giving it a chance WITH some pretty steep conditions...COUNSELING and TIME. Your father at this juncture, should trust your judgment, under these circumstances. Grace

Answer 9

Since I know for a fact that there is such a thing as giving a cheating wife a second chance, it should work both ways. Yes, what he did will probably hurt for a long long time, but if everything else you daid about him is true, don't you think he deserves a second chance?

Answer 10

is there such a thing as giving your cheating husband a second chance?

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

people may do it (give the second chance) but how could you?? he has betrayed you, ruined you, disrespected you, stomped all over your heart, broke his vows, turned his back on you and the children, and found another woman that he found more desire for than his own wife!!! if you can stay with a man like that, then hats off to you.
the dirty cheating bastards need doormats like you so they can have people in there lives....

not trying to be mean, but i just want you to think about what he did, and you don't have to stay.... you have every right to kick him to the curb.