I have asked my husband many times to not look at porn on the internet, it makes me sad to know that I am not good enough for him and he has to turn to other things to make him happy. Do I have the right to ask him to choose either me or the internet porn?
2006-11-27 10:26:47 · 25 answers · asked by beckithenurse 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh my GOD!!!!! i am so apalled at some of the responses here..... you know what? maybe he will ditch you for a more open minded person if you gave him the ultimatum, but at least he won't be making YOU feel like crap anymore.
i completely agree with you, and if my husband was being this disrespectful i would do the exact same thing.
2006-11-27 10:45:02 · answer #1 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't ask him not to look at porn. You do have a right to be upset, however. The whole point is how much it bothers you, and that making this difficult for him is not going to make you feel better.
Work on other areas of your relationship that will strengthen your sense of intimacy. Be happy for him that he has an interest outside of your relationship. Ask what he looks at. If there is anything different he would like to do. Ask him what he likes about what you already do. I am not saying you should bring porn into the bedroom, but that this is an opportunity to get to know him better. It's all about him. It really has nothing to do with you.
So try not to take it personally. I know it can feel threatening, but you don't want to let this turn into something that will create real problems for your marriage.
2006-11-27 18:54:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cybil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a question of you not being "good enough", so stop thinking that!
I can only speak for myself but I'd certainly be upset if my husband spent his time on the internet looking at "porn". Obviously he has a problem if that's what it takes to "make him happy".
You shouldn't have to ask him to "choose" between you or the internet porn. Marriage should be based on love and respect, it doesn't sound like he's showing you much "respect".
Yes, you have the right to ask him to stop watching it! Good luck.
2006-11-27 18:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes. And he has a right to look at it. And if he won't give up all kinds of porn because it offends you and won't seek help your relationship is in trouble. So perhaps he'll have to use his right to porn with you. Did you know about his porn addiction before and chose to ignore it? This is one addiction that only gets worse, then he starts acting out. Better to kick this pervert to the curb ASAP. Men don't understand how it makes most of us women feel. We do compare ourselves, our bodies and our performance and causes our self esteem to crash. Perhaps this is one thing that males should tell a new girlfriend that they are into. You should be honest. I say males since it is a male dominated audience. But I know there are is a small percentage of females that are into porn, and they too should be up front with their new boyfriends or girlfriends just to prevent drama and hurt feelings.
Men do have a double standard when it comes to porn. It's like no big deal. But if they ever found out their sister was in porn they would have a heart attack and would not want her doing it. Why is that?
2006-11-27 18:54:54 · answer #4 · answered by Hilda M 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is your right to be angry. My husband and I went through this a few years ago. Porn; internet or not can be a begining for other things/people to enter your marriage.
Ask him why he likes to look at it-what is his motivation. He could feel that there is something missing from your relationship and he doesn't know how to verbalize it to you. And that is most likely he is unhappy with himself and not you.
Best of luck to you- I hope it all works out.
2006-11-27 18:40:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask him... Just don't get bent out of shape if he chooses porn. Most guys look at porn; show me a guy who doesn't, and I'll show you a guy who is quite uninterested in sex. Would you rather be married to someone who's not interested in sex?
What you can, and should, ask of him is to respect your privacy and not look at it while you're around. I'm sure he can find some "private time" to sneak a peek at it. As long as he's not obsessive about it, and it doesn't interfere with his daily functioning, your own obsession over what he looks at will do your marriage more harm than good.
2006-11-27 18:42:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you do have the right. If you are giving him enough quality sex there is no excuse for him looking at internet porn.
2006-11-27 18:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by evilbarrister 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are for the most part wired different than women. Men need to release often, women need a good release every so often. For me its easier to handle it myself with porn as stimulation than to go through the hoops it takes to get a mother of 2 workaholic in the mood. Before porn it was the sears catalogue or an affair.
Be happy he loves you and you love him. Maybe he is just tired of harassing you for sex. Good luck
2006-11-27 18:38:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I HOPE THAT YOU WILL READ EVERY WORD OF THIS ANSWER......YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM BUT ITS HIS DEAL AND NOT YOURS MY MAN IS ADDICTED TO PORN AND I WILL NO LONGER SLEEP WITH HIM BECAUSE OF IT AND WE WILL BE BRAKING UP SOON....SOONER THAN HE THINKS? I WANT SEX ALL THE TIME AND I DO ENJOY A LITTLE PORN EVERY NOW AND THEN BUT WHEN A MAN HAS TO WATCH PORN IN ORDER TO HAVE SEX WITH ME HE HAS THE PROBLEM. HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH ME BUT NOW I NO WHERE THE PROBLE LIES WITHIN HIMSELF!!!! I GIVE AND GIVE IN MORE WAYS THAN MOST WOMEN WOULD EVEN THINK OF AND SINCE HE WANTS TO MANIPULATE ME INTO THINKING I HAVE A PROBLEM HES WRONG. ITS OK FOR EVERYONE TO RUB ONE OFF ALONE ITS OUR RIGHT! BUT TO TAKE SEX AWAY FROM YOUR BETTER HALF AND TO SPEND YOUR NIGHTS ON LINE OR ON THE PHONE WITH ANOTHER WOMEN I FEEL AS IF YOUR CHEATING . NOT ONLY ON YOUR SPOUSE BUT YOURSELF AS WELL. SHOULD YOU ASK HIM NOT TO EVER WATCH PORN NO, BUT TO INCLUDE YOU AND SHARE AND BE HONEST WITH YOU YES!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR DEAL ENDS UP BETTER THAN MINE......
2006-11-27 19:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by that girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and your hubby are having fun in the bedroom or under the same roof of your house, then yes you do have a right to be upset.
If you and your hubby are not having fun and it is you that do not want to have fun then no you do not have a right to be mad at him only.
I can understand myself watching it, because my wife and I live under the same roof but nothing in the same bedroom or under the roof.
I wish you and hubby the best of luck, and I hope that you are not in the same condition that I am in.
2006-11-27 23:27:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋