The feeling to be alone?

Question

I have always taken care of others, raised my brother at sixteen when mom died, four years later at twenty had my first child and two more after that. Worked in the Hepling profession for ten years. Now all I want to do, is to buy a cabin in the woods and run away from everything and, everyone, am I selfish? I cant stop thinking about this.

Answer 1

Hi J.M.
NO, I even have my cabin furnished in my mind and know the books on the shelves and food in the cupboards.

Being a care giver is energy consuming

Answer 2

I understand the feeling, but you can't go back and change the past. Right now, you've got certain things to work with, try to make the best of the rest of your life, don't dwell on what "could have been". Try to make choices that are going to make you happiest in your situation. Perhaps you can think of changing careers; maybe your relationship needs work; certainly make sure you're on really good birth control. If you're feeling depressed, you could see a doctor about it. You may not have control over the choices you made years ago, but your future is certainly in your hands. Make the best of it.

Answer 3

If you are married and have children and want to just walk away, yes it is selfish. What about your husband ? I suppose he has never had the burden of responsibility. We each have our own burdens, and carried loads in the past. Your husband will be left with all the responsibility and your children will have no mother. If you want to be alone, be careful what you wish for. You may end up ALONE. Your husband will want you to enjoy your solitude while he and the children move on, with little or no contact or interest in your selfishness.

Answer 4

No you are not selfish there comes a time in every ones life when they just want to rest and enjoy life. But you can not run or hide from problems some how they follow you wherever you go.

Answer 5

No you're not being selfish at all. Sounds like you want away from people, the problems they cause, etc. and just live a quiet life with peace of mind.

Answer 6

What a beautiful picture-the cabin in the woods. To me you need some down time to take care of yourself. I can relate totally, as I have also been a caregiver most of my life, parents, husband, children and everyone who had needs, THEY were always first. I have learned unless I really listen to the quiet voice telling me to "be still" and just be, I fall apart in many ways. Find your "cabin" --be it in a quiet place or busy activity just for yourself.

Answer 7

No, you're not selfish. Are you sure that you are not becoming run down and depressed though? Classic symptom of being overwhelmed. Maybe you need a good holiday then see how you feel??

Answer 8

u r wonderful person
offcourse you're not selfish because u did what others should do
u raised ur brother and u made him dont need anyone
i think u deserve to take rest from all problems u faced in ur life

Answer 9

After all you have been through one can understand your need to be alone. that would be fine for a while to recharge your batteries so to speak. but please don't make the mistake of making it a permament feeling in your life, I was widowed 8 years ago after 35 yrs of marriage, the children have their own lives to live and I have felt total lonliness that is I decided to take a more positive attitude to life, what I am saying is lonliness is bad enough when it comes to you through death, to want to be alone is alright for a while but don't make it too long to rejoin the world.

Answer 10

I suggest you check out Alaska. Very few people, and lots of woods. In many areas, there are zero property taxes, and no zoning restrictions. But, are you cetain you want REAL solitude?