please only men answer this do you love your wife as much as your children?

Question

my husband and i were watching tv and this subject came up.he told me without even thinking about it he loves his son(from his first marrage)more than me.i always thought he loved us equal but i guess not.i just want your opinion men do you love your kids more than your wife or equal?please single moms don't blast me as the evil stepmom i love his kids as much as i love him and would never want to be put first.

Answer 1

of course same love for both

:> peace
.

Answer 2

I have three children, ages 16, 14 and 11. And I love them all more than my own life.

Do I love my kids more than my girlfriend? Well, I have a very different bond with my children. I've been responsible for the health and well-being of my kids all their lives. I was there from the moment of their births, I held them seconds after they were born... I have been involved with their thoughts and feelings, their successes and problems, every step of the way, and I continue to be today. I probably always will be.

My children will always be my children, no matter what. The only thing that could ever seperate us is death... and I'm not even sure that death would really seperate us.

With a wife or girlfriend... there's another kind of bond. When you meet, you already have very distinct and seperate histories. To that point you've lived entirely different lives. Nature hasn't mandated that you become responsible for one-another, but you make a choice to do that.

You make a choice to come together, to learn about each-other, to support one-another and to love each-other. But as all couples know... you also have to make a lot of adjustments and concessions. You have to develop common ground and get by the difficulties. And you're always aware that while marriage should be for life... that way too often, it isn't.

I think that a man-woman relationship is more dependant upon each person making good choices about the relationship, and if they're both mature enough... you end up with a really solid, loving relationship. If that happens, it may well become as close a bond as many parents experience with their children. But it takes time and a lot of effort... a lot of wise choices and a great deal of determination.

I don't think anyone goes into a relationship where that reality exists without having to do the work or put in the time.

So, it's different, but with time, committment and wisdom, it can be just as intense... and just as strong. But no matter how strong it is, it will always be different than a parent-child relationship.

Answer 3

That's a very complicated question. A question that cannot be asked our answered without a serious discussion on both of your parts. I am assuming that you have not been married before or have children. I have been divorced and have a child. All that comes with being divorced carries alto of baggage. This includes the pain and feelings of letting your child down. With all that being said I could easily say the same thing that your husband said but I am sure it does much deeper than that. Try and put yourself in his shoes and all that he has been through. Maybe its a question that you should never have been asked. A fathers love for his children cant be compared to the love he has for his wife. Especially when there is a divorce involved. You might consider asking yourself why he might answer that question the way he did. Try and put yourself in his position and see the question from his point of view. Your in a tough position and one that I am sure is quite difficult. Talk it out and let him know how you feel. I am sure if that happens only good can happen.

Answer 4

I couldn't rank how much I love any of my kids... never have, never thought about it, simply never went there. I don't love my son more than I love his big sisters, they're ALL my kids, and I have a great relationship with all of them. They're all such interesting individuals, and I've always been aware that on top of that, I really LIKE them. But that's not what you're asking about...

So I'll say that it has ALWAYS been clear to me that the most important relationship in my life is the one I have with my wife. Everything else hangs from that one. Does this mean I love her more? I don't know -- that's not a question I can evaluate, like asking which hurts worse, a toothache or a gallstone.

But I know that my relationship with her is the capstone of the arch for me. That means making sure it's good, making sure we have an exceptional life together, making sure she's happy and fulfilled, and taking care of our time together. And, yes, that includes making sure the kids have a great life too, and learn what they need to know if they're going to be successful, competent adults.

And that means that one day, the kids will move out, start their own lives, have their own spouses and families and careers, and we'll be stuck with each other -- for as long as we are fortunate enough to share our time on Earth, at least.

We had a couple of bad scares this year, health issues that put my wife in the hospital for a week on two separate occasions. It's made it even more clear to me that the relationship I have with her is the most important one in my life. Because it's bad enough to wake up alone and think, that's right, she's in the hospital. One day, hopefully many many years from now, one of us is going to wake up alone, and know the other one isn't coming back to bed any more. So till then... I've been in love with this woman for thirty years, and hope to be for thirty more, and more than that if we are granted the span. It hasn't gotten any weaker, any slower, any softer, any less passionate or consuming or intense. I still get the jitters when we're meeting for lunch and I get to the restaurant first, as if I were a schoolboy waiting to meet his crush.

So... that's where I stand, anyway. I love my kids... but I'm utterly, totally, head-over-heels goofy about their mom.

Answer 5

Many years ago I saw a house on fire.I got out of my truck and ran around the house yelling fire ,your house is on fire!I then knocked out windows kicked in doors helping all to get out.It was very intense for some time.I ran around to the front and I could see a lady and a couple of children standing across the street and I called to them is this your house and they said yes.I then asked them if they were all right and is any one else was in the house.The lady said yes her husband was asleep in the house!! I said did you wake him? Did you let him know the house was on fire? She said to my to surprise she wanted the Kidd's to get out first.Now I can perhaps understand her thinking but once they were out why didn't she go in for him or run around yelling for him or some one to help him get out.I ran in broke down the front door went in through the fire found him and got him out.In the front yard he ask me where his wife and kids were and I told him.He started to cry and said,she thought more of the kids than me.I will never forget that. From that time forward I went looking for a wife that loved me,ME more then money or fine things.That money ,kids,were all blessings to our lives,but not our lives.We were married to each other and it would be me and her and the rest was a part of our life not it meant more then us.You can loose your children in death or drugs.They will grow up and move away and you will be alone,only to see them on holadays.If you put them before your spouse you will be all alone when they go.My wife married me,to be with each other and we wont let anything get between us.Yes we have many children that are all good adults,some married and one just got back from the war last week to see his first son for the first time.I read some of the other answers you got and I feel bad for some of them.I go to bed every night knowing that if it is my house on fire my wife will wake me up first and together "we" will save the children and perhaps the home.

Answer 6

Yet by asking this question, you're implying that there's a problem with you not being put first. Forcing anyone to make this kind of choice is a no-win situation for both parties involved, and it's not fair. The PC answer would be to say that you're all loved equally. Why isn't that enough?

Answer 7

My wife and i have been married for 15 yrs..She had two children before we met,i had one from a previous marriage.I grew to love her children as much as i do my own.Although there were times when i took preference to my son over them,i came to realize that we are all family,and for me to play the favorites was not right.Her children deserve my love just as much if not more than my own son.Because i am the father they didn't have.I don't understand why he would tell you that,then again we are two different people.All of our children are on there own now,and the love i have for them is still there no matter where they are.But the love i have for my wife cannot be measured by the love i have for my children.It is different kind of love,but as a family i love them all the same.

Answer 8

i dont blast you as a evil step mom and i know you ask for men only but i decided to give you another womens point of view on this.. i have 2 daughters form a previous realionship my live in bf has 3 daughters from 2 pervious realionships.. realionships can come and go just as marriages can .. you can divorce your spouse but never your children.. i love my daughters more than him and he loves his kids more than me..but it seems like he has hurt your feeling a bit by his comment.. do you have children if not then when you do you will understand.. that is why some women leave the men they truely do love .. it is because of the way they treat their children

Answer 9

I believe a couple has to put each other first above all else if they're going to survive. Without each other, what have you got? Kids, money, jobs, they're all important. And I'm not saying you shouldn't love your kids. You should at least be equal.

Answer 10

It is a different kind of love. I love my son (and daughter) no matter what they do (they are still under 10). But I can't say the same for my wife. Is that less? Or just different.

Answer 11

I know you said men only, but you have to understand.....the love a person has for there child is always stronger than the love of a spouse. I love my fiance, but I will never love him as much as my son from my previous relationship and I dont expect him to have more love for me than he does for his daughter from his previous relationship. It doesnt mean he doesnt love you a ton, but the bond a person has with their child is the strongest bond in my opinion. And you deserve a pat on the back for loving his child...this will only make him love you more!