I have fantasies about my boss, how can I stop this??

Question

They are sexual and when I have sex withmy husband sometimes okay well a lot of times I put my boss in his place and I have the best orgasms. I need this to stop. Nothing can come of this. I cannot tell my boss even though he is divorced. I think it's just cause he is older and very intelligent and has a lot of qualities I wish my husband had. Myhusband is very attractive, but lately he has been messing up. He won't quit smoking weed and he just isn't what I need right now. My boss is smart and makes me weak when we work together. It's not his looks that I like cause he wasn't given them, I guess in his own way he is handsome, but my husband is more so than my boss, still I find him attractive.
I do need to get him out of my head, but how???
This is serious so please only serious answers.
Thanks

I have been married for 5 years and have two children

Answer 1

Your boss has become a source of lust to you, because your husband is falling short in areas that you need fulfillment. You need to find a way to find your husband more acceptable and appealing. You also need to desparately communicate with your husband that you're unhappy with what he is doing, ie smoking weed. I'm not sure I understand the comment "he just isn't what I need right now." What exactly is it you need?? As the ole cliche goes, the grass is >>always<< greener on the other side. Your boss is divorced, it's probably for a good reason. Don't mess up your own marriage because another man makes you weak in the knees. You married your husband because he obviously made you weak in the knees at one time. Find ways to help your husband make you weak, instead of your boss, who has the power to fire your butt if he learns about these fantasies of yours.

Answer 2

Ok, serious answer...
I'm getting the feeling that your husband is maybe less than you bargained for. The real question here shouldn't be, how do I get my boss out of my head. It should be, why am I not mentally attracted to my husband enough that I'm enjoying my sexual time with him? Does my husband have the qualities that I really need him to have?
Am I still IN love with him?

The only suggestion I would have, is to remember, and concentrate on the qualities you love about your husband both in and out of bed. But it does seem to me like there is a much larger issue than just "sexual fantasies" here.

As far as your boss and the fantasies.. there's nothing you can really "do" to get rid of them. If it wasn't your bosses qualities, would it be someone else's good qualities you desire? You can only concentrate on the good things your husband brings to the table, and hope that the fantasies about your boss go away.

Answer 3

Good question.... you're fired!
(just kidding)

I think you need to do one of two things:

1) Dump the weed-smoking hottie and be honest with your boss. (Be prepared to quit your job if a relationship forms). There is a reason that you are attracted to him and it might be a good one.

2) Just plant it firmly in your mind that he is off limits. Just be happy to work with such an attractive guy and leave it at that.
Time will reveal some of his imperfections, making it easier for you to see him as just another guy.

Whatever you decide, just be civil. Don't make passes or arouse any awkward situations that your coworkers or current lover might find objectionable. If you like your boss, you will not want to cause him any problems.

There is also a very irresponsible 3rd option but it is contingent upon your husband being bisexual...

Answer 4

Talk to your husband about the issues he has with weed etc. Dont mention your boss to your husband though. When your husband is once again what you really want, I'm sure your boss thing will reduce.

If you were absolutely in love with everything about your husband, I dont think you would think so much about your boss. Work out the problems with your husband.

Often we want what our partners dont have, and we find that in someone else... so work on things with your husband. Try stay very neutral with your boss. Professional relationship only!

Answer 5

It's escaping that all women especially married women have the right to.

Fantasy is healthy and usually better than the real thing.

As long as we are wise and realise that fantasy has to stay exactly that then we have no problems.
DON'T ACT ON IT and when u have finished being busy fantasing make some time to support ur husband through what evers making him smoke loads of weed.

Good luck and enjoy!!!!

Answer 6

Sexy, I can relate to what your talking about. I am not married, but there is a gal I work with who is, and she likes to flirt with me. And she's very sexy to boot, lol. I have fantasized many times aobut her when I rub one out. But I know it will never go beyond that. If your not happy with your husbands ways, then you really should have a heart to heart with him. Sex in the work place can be a major no, no, especially when one or both of the people involved are married. You really need to keep this a fantasy, and perhaps just masterbate to thoughts of your boss. You might just go to far and call out your bosses name one of these nights when your having sex with your husband.

You have kids? Then this needs to stop for the sake of them.

Answer 7

Darling, that's simply a matter of self indulgence vs self control. You made a commitment to your husband. I suggest talking to him, not about your boss, :) but about the way you feel and the ways in which your relationship is not what you thought it would be.
My ex husband too would not quit smoking pot, I realized now that it was never my job to ask or make him quit smoking pot, I had my opinion about it, but beyond that I really had no business imposing my thoughts on him. If your husband knows how you feel and still wants to smoke pot, then you have a choice to make. Accept and love him for who he is or leave and find something that's more suitable for you.

Also, it is rarely a persons looks that makes them attractive, it's more how they carry theirself and the amount of dignity in which they treat themselves and others. That's is truly what attracts or repels people from one another.

Answer 8

Fantasies are fine and normal....acting them out is another thing. You need to try to limit the amount of time you are alone w/ your boss. If you want to go for it, you need to dump your husband first. Also, many times living out fantasies never turn out the way you expected in real life.

Answer 9

first of all do you have a boyfriend of your man or woman?, if no longer you're able to get one because of the fact this guy is already taken, and that i do no longer think of you decide directly to or could make existence no longer common for him. a large variety of the time once you have a weigh down on a man or woman is because of the fact they are large to you and don't appear like a chairman, and a few money in on that. you're able to understand that he's a married guy and which you will lose your job in case you convince a courting with him.

Answer 10

well i have similar problems with thinking about women sexually and wanting it to stop a temporary solution is to jack off but of course it comes back i can say there was a certain thing that i was thinking about that i didnt want to think about and couldnt help it so i told a friend of mine about it and it wasnt easy but getting it off my chest somehow made it go away so what im suggesting is telling one of your close friends how u feel but make sure u completly trust them and they are mature. If that doenst work you could always go to plan B but i dont think i should say that on here